The New Battle
by ClairefromAyr
Summary: Damon has rescued Stefan from the safe but all is not well. Stefan hasn't just been trapped for 3 months but a year and there are grave consequences for everyone. This will evolve into a Defan hopefully but may be slow burning at first. Warnings for future chapters involving vampcest, M/M sex and pairing, blood letting, violence and some graphic depictions of torture.
1. Chapter 1

Ok hopefully got something here guys.

The New Battle Chapter 1

"Where is he? Damon?! Where is he?" Elena panicked as Damon tried to hold her back and calm her.

"Elena, he's ok alright? I got him. Just chill." He said and she looked into his eyes and tried to calm down. "I got him." He said again in reassurance.

"Where is he?" She asked a little calmer and he indicated upstairs towards Stefan's bedroom.

"He's freaked out ok? He needs some alone time."

"He's been trapped and alone for a whole year Damon! A whole year!" She pointed out and he rolled his eyes at the stupid comment he'd made and held her shoulders.

"I know. He's just a little disorientated and if you charge in there, you'll just get him all fired up again. You've got to chill." He explained and she nodded and began to breathe.

"Is he ok?" She asked full of emotion.

"He just spent the last twelve months drowning over and over again in a locked safe Elena. He's…he's not the Stefan you know right now."

"What do you mean?"

"I don't want you to worry about this ok? He just needs time to get his brain going again."

"Damon what are you talking about? You're scaring me."

Damon sighed and led her towards the sofa, sitting down and turning towards her. He looked worried, which just made her more worried.

"What?" She asked nervously.

"He's a little confused. He didn't know who I was." He explained and held her hand tight as she processed it.

"What?" She frowned.

"A little amnesia, but don't worry. I'm sure it'll come back to him, we just have to give him some time and space." He comforted but she could tell from the tone of his voice that he was more than a little concerned.

"He doesn't remember us? Anything?" She gasped and he nodded. "How? Why would that happen?"

"Maybe Silas did it before he pushed him into the lake? I don't know. It could be from the trauma."

"He must be so scared." She put her hand over her mouth as tears filled her eyes. "Damon we have to help him."

"We will." He said resolutely and pulled her into his shoulder in an embrace as she sobbed.

Upstairs Stefan listened to the conversation and curled into himself in the huge bed that Damon had led him too. The girl downstairs obviously knew him, cared for him but he had no idea who she was. He closed his eyes as panic filled him. Who were these people? Who was Damon? This could all be a trick. Damon could be the one who put him in the safe in the first place. He just didn't know. All he could remember was the darkness, the cold water, the urgency and fear of drowning over and over again as he screamed and pounded on the black lid of the safe.

He clenched his jaw and trembled, scared to close his eyes in case he opened them and was in water again. He allowed the tears he'd been holding back to spill down his face. They were hot and stung his eyes as he stared at the door to the bedroom. What was going to happen to him? He thought back on when Damon had found him.

He'd thought he was hallucinating at first when he felt the safe being pulled and moved from the water…

_The water inside had begun to drain gradually and he gasped for breath, finally able to breathe for the first time since he could remember. The oxygen provided comfort for only a few seconds however as he realised that something was happening, something new. He began to panic as he realised this safe had been his world, all he could remember and he had no idea what was waiting for him outside of it. Could it be the person who'd put him in here? He struggled to remember the face that had loomed, haunted his hallucinations for months. His face had been familiar but always in shadow so he couldn't be sure if he'd recognise it. Pale eyes, white skin, male – that was all he could remember._

_The safe finally landed on solid ground and Stefan began to hyperventilate in fear. The unmistakeable sounds of the safe being opened beginning. He had to be ready. He had to be ready to attack! He flexed his muscles, now barely existing because of lack of blood or movement. He gritted his teeth and felt shear adrenaline fill him. The lid opened slowly, creakily and a man's' face hovered above him. Pale wide eyes looking down, impossibly white skin…_

_He panicked and threw himself at the figure with every bit of energy he had. The figure shouted in surprise and fell backwards onto the ground as he climbed out of the safe onto grass. He couldn't stop to appreciate it though as his captor rose to his feet and called to him._

"_Stefan…" _

_Was that his name? The figure put his hands up in surrender and Stefan growled and looked around for an escape._

"_Stefan it's me. It's me ok?" The figure said, sounding like he was trying to soothe a child and Stefan compelled himself forward and felt sharp teeth fill his mouth._

_He paused in surprise and touched them as the figure kept talking to him in the same tone, soothing, lulling, while fear radiated throughout Stefan's body. What was happening to him? He tried to run, but his legs wouldn't carry him. He fell to the ground in terror as the figure approached him._

_He screamed and the figure paused and looked at him concerned._

_Was this the person who'd imprisoned him? His face tingled under his eyes and he touched it and let out a roar of desperation and confusion and the figure pulled something from his pocket and tossed it in his direction. He looked down at it. It was a blood bag. A blood bag? He looked up at the figure again and the figure backed away a few steps and sat down, still holding his hands up. Stefan panted and stared at him, desperate to believe that this person wasn't going to hurt him. He looked to the blood bag and his face tingled again._

"_It's ok, drink up Stefan. Everything's going to be ok." The figure said again and Stefan reached out and grabbed the bag._

_He squeezed it in his hands in confusion and looked at the figure again._

"_Drink it."_

_Stefan blinked and was about to scoff when he smelled the scent of it. It smelled amazing. He immediately bit into it and drank forcefully, gasping and gulping it down at such a speed that he had to close his eyes to concentrate and took his eyes off of the figure watching him. Still, the figure remained where he was as Stefan finished the bag and panted. He needed more, so much more. Having this small amount was only making him take of how the rest of his body was burning with the thirst for it. He hadn't noticed how much pain he was in until he'd been given a little of something he evidently needed. His eyes filled with tears that burned hot in his eyes, but weren't plentiful enough that they could descend to his skin. The figure moved and Stefan's eyes moved over to him again warily._

"_Stefan, Silas is dead. He's gone. Everything is going to be ok brother."_

_Brother? Stefan squinted at him in surprise at the use of that word. This person was his brother? He didn't remember having one. In fact he remembered nothing at all but the cold and the darkness. Even words were hard for him to formulate in his mind. He hadn't spoken to another person in his entire memory._

"_Stefan you're freaking me out here. Say something." The figure indeed looked nervous and Stefan seemed to calm at that._

_This person really didn't seem to want to harm him. He felt overcome with relief and tiredness as he realised that. He didn't need to keep his guard up. The figure stood up slowly and so did he._

"_Stefan, do you understand me?" The figure squinted at him, finally started to realise that they had more problems that simple misunderstandings of intent at work here. "Stefan!" He said a little more vexed and worried and Stefan opened his mouth to speak but moved backwards when Damon approached him._

"_Jesus Christ!" The figure ran his hands through his hair and stared at him in fear now. "I'm going to fix this brother I promise you. Come on, let's get you home."_

_The figure moved to touch him and he screamed and threw himself at him in fear. Struggling as the figure cursed and tried to grab him in a way that would incapacitate him but not hurt him. Stefan growled and fought tooth and nail until he had no energy left at all and the figure managed to put him in the trunk of his car. He screamed wildly and beat on the boot lid as soon as Damon closed it, panicking at the enclosed space and hyperventilating with such force he let out such a scream of terror that the figure came back panicking and tried to calm him._

"_Stefan for god's sake! I don't know what to…" The figure said, almost crying himself as he realised how stupid a place this was to place him, despite the fact that it was the only way to get him safely out of here and back to the boarding house without him struggling._

_Stefan fought to get out of the boot, his face streaming with tears of terror and biting at Damon, making his arms and face bleed as he caught him and scratched, bit, pulled…whatever he could to get out until finally Damon had to grab his head and break his neck. Damon panted and collapsed to the ground as he sobbed silently and Stefan lay silent. He pulled his phone out of his pocket shakily and went to call Elena when he paused. Things weren't good between them lately. Not since they had discovered that Stefan hadn't simply gone away on travels. Silas had come and taunted them, pointing out Stefan's predicament and it had crushed her. The guilt over how they hadn't realised something was very wrong with Stefan and had happily played house for almost a year, had ruined the little happiness they had. She hadn't been able to deal with it. She'd blamed him. Everyone blamed him…as usual. Somehow he was always the big bad even though he'd gone out of his mind too when he realised how much suffering Stefan must be enduring._

_They had separated and now all their relationship seemed to be was an alliance to try and find Stefan. He'd been so glad when she and Caroline had gone off to college and gave him some space to figure things out. He could finally breathe and now that Silas was finally dead – with the help of Tessa, Damon could focus all of his attentions on finding Stefan and he had._

_But he hadn't expected this._

_He had been prepared for Stefan being dead, for him being no more than a fluid enlarged corpse, or so angry he would never speak to him, or try to kill him, or…There were just so many possibilities and he'd thought of them all._

_But this…Stefan didn't seem to know who he was and that was beyond terrifying!_

_He climbed back into the Camaro and sped back to the Boarding house. He'd call Elena later, once he knew the full extent of what was happening. He pulled into the drive and got out, approaching the trunk slowly. Stefan still lay dead and unresponsive so he breathed in relief and lifted him into his arms carefully, bringing him up to his room. He lay him down on his bed and finally took in the state of his body. His muscles were almost nonexistent and his skin had a slight sludge look about it as the skin cells had never been able to revitalise properly from no contact with oxygen. He looked like a monstrous bag of putrid flesh and he smelled as much. Only his eyes told of the fact that it was Stefan. He couldn't let anyone see him like this. He removed the scraps of clothing still intact and they fell away into pieces under his hands. He felt like vomiting at that and quickly disposed of them. He ran a quick bath in Stefan's bedroom and hoped he could do this before Stefan awoke and started screaming again._

_He hadn't had to wash Stefan, care for him like this since they had been human and Damon had bathed Stefan as a child. He felt nervous and odd about it. Would Stefan feel violated or embarrassed at him having to do this? Probably, but he couldn't have Stefan see himself looking like this. He crossed over to the bed and lifted his body, trying not to cringe too much at the texture of Stefan's skin against his own. As soon as he was clean, he would feed him as much blood as he could take to get his body returning to health and a normal appearance. Pieces of Stefan's skin were coming away and it was gross as Damon tried to wash him carefully. It was horrible and wasn't helping. He stopped, fretting and decided that the only way to get this done properly was to get some blood into him first. He blurred to his room and pulled some blood bags from the fridge. He didn't have time to wait for animal blood to work, human blood was necessary right now and he could argue with him later about that._

_He opened Stefan's mouth and poured some inside. Stefan's body responded thankfully, his veins protruding in desperate need and Damon continued until the skin started to respond and reform. One blood bag changed his body enough to allow Damon to continue with his bath so he left the others at his feet as he focussed on cleansing the new skin. Stefan was still out thankfully. He grabbed a large towel and enfolded Stefan in it, carrying him out of the bathtub and to his bed laying him down. He searched around the drawers and found some underwear for him._

_He didn't have time to consider how intimate this all was, as Stefan moved a little and he knew he was running out of time. He slid his underwear up his legs and over his sex and dried the rest of his body off gently as Stefan opened his eyes. Damon paused and looked down at him and Stefan gasped terrified and tried to move._

"_Stefan, it's me brother. You're safe, you're safe." Damon cooed gently and the tone made Stefan cease an attack and stare up at him. "We're home."_

_Stefan's breathing was still way too fast but he seemed to take note of his new attire and looked around wildly. Damon stepped back and retrieved the blood bags from the bathroom. Stefan sat up and touched his body, feeling the warmth of the bathwater and the scent of the soap fill his lungs and he exhaled and touched his skin tentatively. His skin looked different. It wasn't slippery anymore. Then he noticed the warmth and comfort brought by the underwear he had on and he touched it too. It felt so strange, so different from his other clothes. He realised quickly this was because he was dry, for the first time in his memory. He looked up, tears spilling to see his saviour approach him, because that is what this figure was – his savour, his angel. He opened his mouth and let a sound of emotion escape him and the figure frowned in concern and slowly handed him another blood bag. Stefan accepted it and bit into it, drinking deeply and enthusiastically._

_The figure sat down and watched him and Stefan closed his eyes, feeling safe for the moment. This figure wouldn't hurt him, he felt sure of that now. He finished the blood bag and lay back as he sighed. His body was changing, healing and he felt a strange buzzing in his head of elation. He closed his eyes, before opening them again really quickly and realising that he didn't know where he was. He sat back up and looked around. His angel stayed quiet, simply observing as he chewed his thumb nail. The room he was in was vaguely familiar. It clearly belonged to someone who lived here, it was lived in. Books adorned every corner, a desk with an antique lamp was pride of place by the window and there were clothes draped everywhere. He looked to his angel again and he smiled at him._

"_This is your room." The angel said._

_His room? He had a room?_

"_It'll come back to you brother. It's going to be ok." The angel reassured and all Stefan wanted to do in that moment was to believe him._

_He moved from the bed, smiling at the feeling of dry wood beneath his feet and he moved over to the angel. The angel leaned back a little wary but allowed Stefan to approach._

"_What is your name?" Stefan managed to ask, words feeling like such a strange thing to use after having been inside of his own head for as long as he could remember._

"_Damon. I'm your brother Damon Salvatore. You are Stefan Salvatore." The angel said and Stefan sat down on his knees and searched for something familiar in any of those names._

_The name Damon did seem familiar. He closed his eyes trying to figure out why but he was certain that name was important._

"_Damon." He mulled over the sound of the name and his angel seemed to frown in grief._

_He looked up at him in surprise and Damon gave a rather unconvincing smile, handing him another blood bag. Stefan took it from his hands and held them warmly for a few seconds before removing the bag. The Damon angel blinked in surprise and then gave a small smile. He'd drank another few of the blessed bags before Damon had urged him into the huge bed before him and tucked him in._

"_Sleep brother. I'll figure out how to fix this." Damon had vowed and Stefan had grabbed at his arm as he made to move._

"_Don't leave." He'd been so urgent in his begging._

_He'd been alone always and he was terrified if Damon left him and he closed his eyes, he'd be back in that safe again. Damon seemed confused and surprised but he had sat next to him in an armchair. Stefan had turned on his side so he could look at him, study his face to try and incur some kind of memory. The face did seem familiar. Damon seemed uncomfortable under the scrutiny and had lifted a book to read as Stefan gradually closed his eyes and fell asleep peaceful and protected by his angel Damon._

He had awoken to the cries of the girl downstairs and had curled into himself realising that Damon was not beside him anymore. Without his comforting presence, it had been easy for him to slip back into the fear that he didn't know if he could trust him. This angel had shown nothing but concern but it didn't mean he was safe here. He pulled the comfortable blankets aside and rose from the bed, looking around for his clothing. He couldn't see it anywhere. There were a lot of other clothes scattered around though so he moved to collect some of them when he froze. His eyes widened as he looked at the figure staring back at him. That face…those eyes….he knew them.

That was the one who had put him in the safe!


	2. Chapter 2

Just a short one guys, quick updates to come.

Chapter 2 TNB

"Ahhh, nooo! Nooo!" Stefan screamed in absolute terror and fell backwards into a large bookshelf, knocking the books and ornaments all around him in a crash as it wobbled and fell on top of him.

He continued to scream as the figure looked on at him and he lost his mind in fear. His heart was bursting out of his chest and he felt near to passing out with fear when the Damon angel appeared again.

"Stefan!" He cried worried and bent over him, blocking the view of the evil face behind him.

"Damon!" He cried out in relief and the Damon angel lifted the painful cabinet off of him and reached for him to help him from the floor.

He couldn't stand though, his body was like jelly from the fear so instead he clung to the angel's legs, shivering and trembling uncontrollably as the angel stood uncertain and afraid of his reaction. He heard the girl's panicked voice as she ran into the room and Stefan buried his face in the angel's legs and sobbed in fear. Too many people. Too many people around him. He felt claustrophobic and terrified and he couldn't trust anyone but the angel. He tightened his hold on the angel's legs and flinched away when the girl tried to touch him.

"Elena, stand back."

"But…"

"Give him room!" The angel commanded and Stefan heard her sobs of protest and sorrow. "Elena, please." The angel sounded remorseful at his previous forcefulness and it made Stefan peek up at him.

The angel looked down at him and gave him a reassuring smile as he reached out unsure, to lay his hand on Stefan's head gently. Touch like this seemed to make the angel unsure, Stefan wondered why he would hesitate.

"Stefan?" The angel said softly and Stefan blinked as his heart slowed down.

"It was him." He whispered and tightened his hold on the angel's legs again as he whimpered.

"Who?"

"The one who put me in there. He was here." Stefan's eyes filled with tears and Damon frowned trying to understand.

"Silas is dead Stefan. He's gone."

"Damon." The girl said and the angel turned around to look at where she was indicating.

The angel sighed in understanding and turned back to look at Stefan.

"It's just a mirror brother."

"A mirror?"

"Yes."

"But…" Stefan choked as he tried to contemplate what the angel was saying. "He's our brother?"

"What?" The angel frowned in confusion before he clicked as to Stefan's meaning. "No. Absolutely not! He just…" He sighed in frustration as Stefan looked up at him, desperate to understand.

"He just looks a lot like you. He's a distant relative Stefan." The girl said softly and sat down on his bed at a far enough distance to make him stay calm.

He looked at her. She was beautiful. There was tenderness in her brown eyes that somehow made him feel secure. He gradually released his hold on the angel's legs and she smiled at him.

"You're safe with us." She smiled and he looked up to the angel again.

The angel reached down his hand and helped him to his feet, squeezing his shoulder comfortingly as Stefan searched his face. Stefan calmed and Damon stepped aside to show him the mirror. Stefan still cringed as he looked at his reflection.

"That's me?" He asked, moving forward slowly to touch it.

He had to touch it, to know that it really wasn't a person hiding behind the frame that would jump out and grab him. He touched his own face and observed the reflection copying his movement. He tried to catch it out a few times, moving quickly and was awed at how quickly he could move. The image seemed to blur and he stepped back in amazement.

"The blood is healing you. It's giving you your strength back." The girl said and he looked at her from within the mirror.

"Blood." He said and the Damon angel nodded. "Why? How?"

"Because you're a vampire brother. Same as we are."

He looked to the Damon angel and searched his face, looking down at his body for anything supernatural seeming. The scrutiny yet again, seemed to make the angel uncomfortable.

"We are vampires?"

"The last time I checked." The angel said in jest and smiled and Stefan smiled too.

"Do I kill people then?"

"No." The girl interjected. "No you drink from animals."

"Why?" He frowned and the angel smirked and sucked his bottom lip into his mouth as though he were enjoying some private joke in his head.

"Do you drink from animals too?" He asked the angel and the angel snorted.

"Not me, brother!"

"Damon." The girl chastised the angel and the angel let out a huge sigh of exasperation as she frowned at him.

Stefan didn't like the way she was speaking to the Damon angel. He immediately felt his heckles rise and she noticed his expression changed to one of anger. She opened her mouth to speak in response but he cut her off.

"Don't talk to him like that." Stefan said annoyed and the angel turned back to him looking gobsmacked at his defence. "Who are you anyway?"

"I…I…" She spluttered and the angel put his hands out between them to calm them both.

"Hey, let's just chill and start slow ok?" The angel advised and Stefan reigned in his anger and mistrust of the girl, deferring to the angel. "Listen I think, we should just take a bit at a time. Elena, maybe you should give us a little space. I'll call you later?"

"But…" She began to argue, looking upset and Stefan felt a strange wash of sympathy for her as she looked to him with something akin to longing.

"Baby steps ok?" The angel soothed his tone and Stefan was sure he detected a note of love and familiarity in it that made him watch the angel closely.

Were this girl and the angel a couple? She seemed to respond to the angel's tone and facial expressions of reassurance, as though they were intimate and something about that made Stefan feel a little uncomfortable. There was so much he didn't know. He felt suddenly, unbearably tired and he wilted. They both seemed to notice and the girl rose from his bed and approached him slowly. He stepped back instinctively and hit the mirror, knocking it backwards onto the floor and she halted her approach and looked at him with such grief that he regretted his action.

"Elena's a friend Stefan. You don't have to be afraid." The angel assured and Stefan did the only thing he could think of to remove her hurt expression while still keeping his distance.

He held his hand out to shake hers and she smiled gratefully and took his hand in hers. The second he touched her he felt some familiarity. She'd been important at some point. He had known her.

"I'm so happy you're home." She said, giving his hand a slight squeeze and he gave her a smile back.

She withdrew her hand and looked over in silent communication with the angel. There was definitely something between them. Stefan almost felt jealous. _He_ needed the angel right now, there was no room for the girl in his mind. The girl left and the angel put his hands on his hips and sighed.

"Is she…yours?" He asked and the angel's expression became slightly tormented.

He instantly regretted asking and moved to the angel, putting his arms around him to comfort him. The angel seemed taken aback at the action and stood still and tense for a second, before eventually returning the hug lightly and patting him on the back. The angel seemed to feel nervous about touching him. He was desperate to know why. He pulled back and searched his eyes. They were so blue and large. He could see his reflection in them. The angel cleared his throat and licked his lips nervously.

"I'm sorry I hurt you." Stefan said and the angel raised his eyebrows.

"Huh?"

"I scratched you, bit you."

"Oh, forget about it. I'm sorry I didn't realise what a stupid place it was, to put you in the trunk." The angel gave a smile that made some lines form at the corners of his eyes and Stefan reached up to touch them, making the angel back away in surprise.

"Sorry." He said immediately and the angel gave a half exhale, half smile of confusion.

"It's ok. Maybe we should get you back into bed ok?"

"Will you stay?" Stefan became fearful at the very suggestion of unconsciousness.

"There's some things I need to do…" The angel began and Stefan's whole body shuddered, making him stop. "Hey." He stroked Stefan's arm and Stefan looked down, trembling.

The angel chewed his lip and embraced him properly this time. Stefan folded his arms around him, trying to calm again.

"I got you, brother." Damon mumbled into his shoulder and Stefan exhaled.

"Don't leave me angel." He whispered, laying his head against the angel's shoulder.

The angel tensed again for a moment, but didn't remove him. Stefan closed his eyes sleepily and Damon felt his body wilting again so he pulled back and guided him back into bed. Stefan closed his eyes and let out a sigh of comfort. The bed was so incredible and the warmth of the room, aided his limbs to relax again. Everything had been so cold and wet for so long, this was paradise. The angel sat down next to him again and picked up the book he had hidden behind earlier. Stefan felt himself drift to sleep, safe in the knowledge the angel would protect him.

Once Stefan was asleep Damon put the book down and rubbed his face with his hands. Stefan was completely clueless to anything going on and this wasn't good. Would he ever remember anything? That thought was just unbelievable, but he couldn't help but admit that there was a nagging in his brain that this could be a good thing for him. If he could forget all of the heartache he'd endured – not just the fact that his own brother had stolen his girlfriend, but the whole of their vampire lives. Stefan had killed their own father and forced him to become a vampire. That had started a spiral of pain and guilt that had led him down the ripper route. Then there were all of the years they spent fighting each other, hating and plotting – Damon more so than he. If Stefan never had these memories maybe he could start again fresh. Maybe there would be no ripper tendencies and he could feed normally and be strong. Maybe they could start again too, without all of the pain of what had happened in their love triangle. Damon had no qualms about not telling Stefan any of that, but he knew there was no way that would swing. Elena was too prominent in the equation and no way would she let that slide. She'd want Stefan to know everything to absolve her conscience. He'd have to explain to her why this would be a good way to go here.

He sighed and sat back into his chair as he watched Stefan sleep. Stefan was like a small child. He was going to have to remember that. Right now he needed comfort and reassurance. Perhaps he wasn't up to this task. He didn't know if he could give him what he needed. Elena was much better at this bonding stuff. Stefan and he had such a complicated relationship, even when they were at their strongest and feeling like brothers again, emotions were still tricky for Damon.

He should let Elena handle this maybe. He could help fill in the gaps and teach Stefan how to be a vampire again, but Elena would be better suited to be the nursemaid – if that was what Stefan would need. Who knew?

The sooner Stefan was comfortable with Elena again, the better.


	3. Chapter 3

My darlings, you make me want to spoil you rotten!

Chapter 3 TNB

It was cold, icy cold and dark. It didn't matter how hard he fought against it, the darkness consumed him. He opened his mouth to scream for help when he remembered the water. The water never permitted it. He struggled violently and fought against it. He could feel the lid he knew was there and he pounded as hard as he could. He knew it was no use though. The water pulled at his limbs, preventing his pounding from having any real impact or sound. He tried to scream again but all he heard were his own cries in his head. Water permitted nothing, no escape, no release, no chance…

Despair and torment always followed when this happened. Every time he became aware this same scenario played out and he knew there was nothing he could do about it. The terror never ended, never faded and he just wished he could die and end it. He wanted to die so badly.

_Please…just let me die. Let me not wake up, let me finally drown. Just let the darkness have me._

And then the angel was there! His eyes, so blue, so kind, so full of love. The angel! The angel! The angel!

"Angel!" Stefan screamed out as the water filled his mouth once more and the darkness erased the face of his saviour.

He screamed in agony and reached out his hands as the last of the angel's face evaporated into the darkness. Then there were hands on him, holding him down.

"Noo!" He screamed.

"Stefan please!" A voice.

Was that his name? Was it the angel?

"Angel?!" He called fearfully, realising the water was gone from his mouth and he opened his eyes to see a face looking down at him.

Brown eyes, streaming with tears. He shouted in surprise and threw himself as far away from the figure as possible, ending up a heap on the floor as he realised he was in the room again. It was the girl who was with him. She came around to help him from the floor and her movement was so fast he screamed out for the angel again.

Where was he? Why had he left him? The girl paused and sank to the floor, weeping but trying to coo to him helplessly.

"Stefan it's ok. It's ok." She was crying and he panted wildly as he studied her. "It was just a dream."

He blinked. A dream? Yes, he thought he remembered what that was. He was in the safe and then he was here. It meant, he hadn't been back in the safe at all. It had been an illusion. He held his chest as he tried to understand it all. The emotions and sensations incurred in the dream were still thick in his mind and body though – as though the feeling of water and cold was sticking to his skin like treacle.

"Where's the angel?" He panted and she looked confused. "Where is he?!"

"Do you mean Damon?" She asked and he nodded. "He's not…Stefan he's…"

"Where is he?" He asked again, annoyed by her babbling.

"He's gone out. I'm here to look after you till he gets back." She explained and he shook his head in disbelief.

"No, no." Stefan mumbled feeling afraid.

"Stefan he'll be back soon I promise." The girl seemed grieved she couldn't offer any comfort.

"Please, I know you know me, but I can't…" He said as he held himself and she sagged. "I need _him_."

She sighed and pulled her cell out of her pocket as he watched her closely.

"Damon, get back here now. Stefan's awake and he's…he needs you." She said, her voice a little bitter almost and Stefan frowned at that.

She hung up the call without saying goodbye and Stefan squinted at her.

"Why do you speak to him like that?"

"Like what?" She frowned now.

"Like he's bad." He said and she sighed and rubbed her eyes. "Is he a bad angel?"

"Stefan he's not…" She sighed and ran her hands through her hair. "He's just your brother."

"He saved me."

"Eventually." She mumbled and he scrutinised her again.

They fell into silence.

"Listen, I know you don't remember me, but you and I…we were best friends. We were…" She paused, treading carefully. "You and I were…"

"You were mine?" Stefan asked in surprise and she gave an uncomfortable smile.

That would explain why Damon and she were so intimate. If she was Stefan's girlfriend, she was practically family to Damon too. He felt relieved by that knowledge. The girl wasn't competition for Damon's focus then.

"So, you're going to have to learn to trust me ok? I love you Stefan and I want to be here to help you. Will you let me?" She asked gently and he nodded.

She smiled relieved at the progress. She stood up slowly and he did the same.

"Are you hungry?"

He nodded and she looked down at his body. He felt strangely vulnerable as she did so and he realised he still hadn't found his clothes. He cleared his throat nervously and looked around for the clothes he'd tried to put on the previous night. She backed away, giving him space as he moved around her and retrieved the jeans he'd tried to put on. There were new clothes, smelling warm and freshly laundered, sitting on the chair that the Damon angel had vacated and he smiled and lifted them to his nose to smell them. He could detect a small trace of the angel's smell on them and he felt comforted by that.

He began to dress in these clothes and the girl turned her back to give him privacy.

"So, you're my girlfriend?" He asked as he pulled a t-shirt over his torso and revelled in the comfort of the dry warm fabric.

He ran his hands down his chest as he appreciated the texture and she turned back to look at him. She looked uncomfortable and guilty.

"I was, but we…broke up before…" She filtered off and he raised his eyebrows. "Do you remember what happened to you?"

"No." He said feeling a little nervous again.

She sat down at the end of the bed and he took a deep breath.

"There are just pieces. A face laughing at me as he closed the lid and locked me in. Then nothing but me and…" He swallowed as the darkness and cold came into his mind again.

"We didn't know Stefan. I promise you. We thought you had left to do some travelling. We didn't realise…" She began.

"What happened to me? Why did someone do this to me?"

"It's a long story." She said regretfully and he opened his mouth to ask more questions when he heard the angel speak.

"A long story, for another time." Damon said, as he walked into the room.

The relief that filled Stefan made him feel giddy and he smiled. The angel returned his smile confidently and flicked his eyes over to the girl.

"Ok?" He asked her and she nodded. "Good. Ok, let's eat brother. Time to tell you who you are."

The next few hours had given him a headache as the Damon angel talked of their human lives and tried to stir any memories inside of his head. His head pounded at the effort to try and remember and the angel kept reassuring him that it would come. The girl – Elena, stayed with them but kept silent.

"You're a vampire too. Did you know us when we were human?" He asked, taking a sip of the brandy the angel had poured for him.

It tasted fiery and delicious and he relaxed into the sofa next to the angel as he let it warm him.

"No. I met you a couple of years ago, here."

"You were a vampire then?"

"No. I was human. We met on the first day of school term." She smiled and he raised his eyebrows.

"School? Why would I go to school if I'm…?"

"A necessary evil for keeping our secret brother." Damon explained and Elena gave a small frown in his direction.

"Is that when you and I got together then?" Stefan continued and she nodded and smiled in memory.

He smiled at that and then he realised just how bad that was.

"Oh god." He gasped, leaning forward. "Was it me? Did I turn you into..?"

"No." She soothed and Damon tensed next to him. "No, that was an accident."

Stefan exhaled in relief and turned to look at the angel beside him. The angel seemed on edge. Stefan lay his hand on his knee gently and it seemed to make him tense even further.

"Are you ok?" He asked.

"Peachy." The angel gave a tight smile and moved to stand by the fire place.

Stefan tried not to feel hurt at the change in him. Elena took his place and took his hand in hers. He looked to her.

"You must have so many questions." She said, squeezing his hand and he nodded.

"How did we become vampires? The ang…Damon and I?" He corrected himself and noticed Damon raise an eyebrow at use of the word 'angel' again.

Did Damon know he called him 'angel' still? Elena looked to Damon.

"Was it an accident?" Stefan asked and looked to Damon.

Damon paled a little and swallowed.

"Not exactly." Damon said and then turned to face him, folding his arms. "Hey, fancy a drink? I know a good bar where I can explain all the sordid details."

"Sure." Stefan said without question.

All three of them stood up and Damon shook his head at Elena.

"I think we need some guy time." Damon said pointedly and Stefan could see from her expression that she was not in agreement.

"Booze?" Damon said to him and he nodded, feeling a little bad for the girl.

He went to his room and grabbed a jacket hanging from the door. It was still so strange to think that this was his room, his clothes, when he had no memory of them at all. It felt like he was borrowing things from some stranger who was bound to turn up here eventually and demand everything back angrily. The man who'd done this to him looked just like him. Like a twin. Was it possible that _he_ was this Stefan guy and somehow everyone had gotten confused? Was Damon the other person's brother? Damon assured the Silas guy was dead, but what if it turned out that Silas was actually the real Stefan. It would mean that Damon wouldn't be _his_ anymore.

Not that he _was_ his, but connected to him by blood. Strange how that still seemed unreal to him. Damon was so…different. He was so…beautiful. When Stefan looked at his face, trying to urge his memory, he had tried to scrutinise – to see if there was any resemblance between them, but he couldn't see much. Silas had played mind control games apparently. Could it be that Damon just thought they were brothers?

A small part of him warmed at the thought, no…not a thought - a hope that perhaps it wasn't true. He didn't want to be Damon's brother. He wanted to be able to hold him and he was sure the fact that Damon believed they were brothers was part of the reason that he found some of his touch strange. Brothers didn't touch as much as Stefan touched him did they? Did they? How was he supposed to know? He didn't remember having anyone until Damon appeared. Perhaps there was an invisible line he kept crossing by accident and that was what made Damon tense. Yet it was such a comfort to him to touch Damon. He wanted to and it felt like a rejection when Damon moved away.

He shook his head at himself, at the tangent his thought were taking and laced up some boots he'd found under his bed.

"Don't worry, I got it ok. Let me handle this."

He heard Damon say to the girl and he stood up and listened for her response.

"I'm trusting you Damon."

"What an honour." Damon replied sounding a little annoyed and the girl sighed.

"I'm sorry. I'm just…"

"I get it. When are you going back to Whitmore?"

"Not yet. I'm not leaving until he's better."

"He's not ill, he's just confused. You should go back. I'll call you if we need you."

"I'm not going anywhere Damon. I'm not going to fail him like last time."

Damon fell silent and Stefan heard his heart thrum in his ears in anticipation.

"You ready yet 007?" Damon called with some amusement in his voice and Stefan realised he'd been rumbled.

He blushed at having been caught and walked down the stairs to join them both in the foyer. He gave Damon an embarrassed smile and Damon tilted his chin towards the door. Damon walked on and Stefan moved to follow him when Elena caught his hand.

"Hey, this is my number. If you want to talk to me, just call. I'll be there any time you need." She smiled and slipped the paper into his hand.

He nodded and accepted it gratefully before following Damon out to the car.


	4. Chapter 4

Definitely going somewhere with this! It's running away from me

Chapter 4 TNB

"So I guess I am the fun brother and you are the safe one then?" Stefan teased as Damon drove along the road as though he had a baby in the back seat.

Damon snorted and stared at him indignantly. Stefan chuckled at his expression and checked his seatbelt was secure as a look of determination crossed Damon's face. Damon slammed his foot on the pedal and Stefan laughed some more as the car jolted forward and roared down the road, spinning up smoke as the tyres screeched noisily until they lost purchase on the road altogether and the car flipped and rolled them over and over until they were both thrown through the windscreen onto the ground coughing and laughing as Stefan sucked breath back into his lungs.

His body hurt but the elation of the adrenaline was worth it and he found himself laughing harder and harder as he lay on the ground looking up at the sky. Damon laughed from where he was lay in a heap beside him.

"Ok, ok. I get it." Stefan rolled onto his side and sat up as Damon wiped at the blood pouring down his chin from his lip. "You're the fun brother."

"Don't you forget it." Damon smiled and chuckled as he sat up.

"Shame about the car." Stefan commented, looking at the wreckage and Damon huffed.

"It was yours. Feel free to kick my ass when you remember what you paid for it brother." Damon grinned and Stefan shook his head and laughed again.

"Maybe I will."

They got up and fixed their attire, before heading down the road towards the bar.

"So, Elena." Stefan prompted and Damon gave a small smile. "She seems like she's bursting your balls a little."

Damon chuckled and smiled at him.

"What?" He laughed back and Damon shook his head.

"You just sound like you, that's all."

"I hope that's a good thing."

Damon gave a non-committal smile.

"What's her problem with you?"

"It's that obvious huh?" Damon exhaled. "Water under the bridge brother."

The mention of water made Stefan's stomach churn and he tensed. Damon seemed to notice and changed the subject swiftly.

"This bar has a great brandy selection. You've never been much of a brandy drinker mind you, but I thought perhaps now I could convert you."

"I'm game." Stefan smiled and they reached the bar finally.

As they stepped inside, the smell of food and sounds of people filled Stefan's ears and he halted at the doorway, nervously. Damon turned back to look at him in surprise.

There were so many people, too many people. He'd been alone always and then Damon came to save him. Damon's company was a must but to be honest, getting used to having Elena around him too, already crowded his senses. He didn't know if he could do this. He shot a fearful look at Damon as Damon's eyes widened.

"It's a little crowded." He gulped and Damon frowned trying to understand his reticence. "Damon, I…" He struggled and Damon reached out and squeezed his shoulder.

The contact helped calm him and he took a few deep breaths as the panic began to fade. Damon's face was full of so much concern. It made his eyes bluer. Stefan stared at him as he breathed, almost edged on by Damon's breathing as he watched Damon's chest rise and fall. He reached out and placed his hand on Damon's chest, making him blink at the contact. He copied Damon's breathing and Damon seemed to get what he was doing as he deliberatively took in deep breaths and released them.

"It's going to be ok brother." Damon said softly and Stefan nodded.

Damon put his hand over Stefan's and patted it, before removing it and putting his arm around Stefan's neck, guiding him inside to a booth. Damon winked and left him to go to the bar as Stefan stared after him. Damon was like his life support machine right now. Helping him breathe, keeping him calm. What would he do without him?

Damon tried not to look back at Stefan while he waited. He didn't want to seem too concerned. He had no idea what Stefan was feeling these days. He'd hoped that Stefan would open up to Elena and talk things through, but he'd pushed her away instead, wanting only Damon's counsel. This wasn't working out as planned. What the hell was he supposed to do? He didn't know how to comfort someone from a trauma like this. If it was _his_ Stefan, he'd know what to do. He'd take him out, get him drunk and help him remember. Elena would do all the nitty gritty stuff – probably get him to read his old journals or start a new one and eventually everything would right itself. This version of Stefan though, he was so vulnerable, so childlike. He needed so much more attention and Damon just didn't believe he had the right kind of stuff in him to help.

Damon didn't do feelings. He wasn't good at it. He scarcely managed to understand or deal with his own. He couldn't take on this responsibility alone. He had to get Stefan to open up to someone else or Damon was going to make a disastrous mess of this. He hung his head and sighed. Stefan was leaning on him hard, feeling strong emotions at the drop of a hat.

Why was he fixated on him as being the person to believe in, to look up to? He wasn't the right one, Stefan had to realise that. Perhaps he shouldn't encourage this. Perhaps he should force Stefan to seek help from others. It wouldn't end well if Stefan stuck to him like glue. When they were children Stefan had made that same mistake and he'd ended up with a regular beating from their father for it. Following in his big brother's stead always landed him in trouble. This would be no different.

He ordered a bottle of their best brandy and headed back over to the table when he saw Stefan almost hyperventilating at the proximity of a woman blocking his view of Damon.

"Great." He huffed. "It's the fun police."

He reached the table and slid down across from Stefan and Stefan immediately looked relieved. God, this needed to be sorted out now.

"Vampire Barbie, always a pleasure." Damon smirked and poured Stefan a glass of brandy, sliding it towards him.

"Really? You brought him to a bar?" She accused and Damon gave her a fake smile. "You think this is the best way to help him right now? By getting him drunk?"

"Ooh, if looks could kill. Maybe you should save all that energy for your dorm mates Blondie and leave the grownups to have a polite conversation over a good bottle."

Stefan gave out a quiet chuckle and Caroline glared at Damon.

"This isn't funny. He needs help Damon. We need to get Bonnie to find something to undo this amnesia." Caroline spoke and Stefan grew irritated with her continued anger towards Damon.

What was with all the women around here? Why did they pick on his angel so much?

"What _I_ need…"Stefan spoke up, grabbing the bottle of brandy from the middle of the table and topping up his glass as Damon raised an eyebrow in surprise. "Is to get drunk with my brother over this very fine brandy and learn about my life."

Caroline looked to him in surprise and softened guiltily.

"Stefan, I'm sorry, it's just…there's so much to talk about and drinking isn't good with you." She explained and reached out to rub his arm.

He flinched backwards in surprise and she paused.

"Are you my new girlfriend or something?" He squinted at her and she blushed.

"No, I'm your friend Stefan. I'm your best friend." She said and he looked to Damon for confirmation.

Damon raised his glass and swallowed it down in affirmation and Stefan looked to the girl again.

"Look…" He paused, not knowing her name.

"Caroline." She answered worriedly.

"Caroline, thanks for the concern but this is kind of a guys night and me and my brother were just getting going here."

Caroline blanched at his words and looked to Damon who stared down at the table.

"Ok." She said sounding hurt and he felt a stab of guilt at the way her expression crumbled.

This girl was his best friend, of course she would be protective. He just didn't get why everyone wanted to protect him from his own flesh and blood – if in fact that was what they were. Perhaps the fact that everyone treated Damon with distain meant that it wasn't true and they just wanted him to believe that so he could feel less afraid. Yes, he bet that that was what it was. He looked to Damon again and studied his features. Damon looked so different from him. Perhaps they'd all thought that if Damon pretended to be kin, he'd be more comfortable staying with Damon and they could keep him calm while they tried to help him. After all, family was family and it made sense that someone in his condition would trust a family member over other strangers.

"Of course, Stefan I'm sorry. I've just missed you so much. We all have. We just…want you to get better. Here's my number. Call me anytime." She handed him her number on a piece of paper and he added it to his pocket with Elena's as he smiled at her in apology.

"Speak later? Don't get wasted." She turned to Damon and he grunted in affirmation.

She left them to it and Stefan drank his brandy in one gulp. He coughed at how strong it was and Damon smirked at him and grabbed the bottle back over.

"What is with the women in this town?" Stefan chuckled nervously and Damon hummed as he swallowed his own portion. "Did you date them both or something?"

Damon gave a small cough into his hand and smirked.

"You dated her?"

"I wouldn't use that word exactly." Damon smirked again and Stefan chuckled.

"No wonder she hates you. So she's my best friend huh?"

"Apparently so Stef."

"Stef?" He raised his eyebrows and Damon looked at him in query.

"Stefan." He corrected and Stefan shook his head.

"No, I like it. Stef. It shows you know me." He smiled and Damon chewed his lip. "So Blondie is my bestie and Elena is my ex. Who's my girlfriend then? Do I have a girlfriend?"

"Ummn…"

"Coz I noticed a few things in my room that don't look like a guy should have." He raised one eyebrows and Damon gave a weak smile. "What is that?"

"What?"

"That smile."

"Huh?"

"You smile like that when you're uncomfortable."

"Do I?" Damon played dumb and Stefan reached over the table and squeezed his hands.

"Is there something wrong?"

Damon slowly pulled his hands out from under Stefan's and gave an uncomfortable chuckle as he reached for the bottle and refilled both of their glasses.

"Look Stefan, you've been a vampire for 147 years. A shit lot has happened since then. Some stuff good, some stuff bad. I'm inclined to leave out the unnecessary just now."

"Ok. Whatever you think." Stefan replied and Damon looked at him frowning.

"You don't have to agree with me you know. You can tell me to shut the hell up and demand some answers." Damon pointed out and Stefan sat back in his chair confused.

"Why would I do that?"

"Because you don't really know me. I could be telling you anything and you're just sitting there."

"Ok. I guess that's true."

"I could be your enemy. I could fill your head full of a bunch of crap and you wouldn't know any different." Damon sighed.

"Why would you do that?" Stefan struggled to understand why Damon suddenly looked so pained, so desperate.

"Maybe I'm the bad guy. Maybe it's my fault you ended up locked in that safe for a year. Did you ever think of that?"

Stefan stared at him hard as Damon shook his head and drank more. He seemed distressed.

"I'm not the one to lean on here Stefan. You don't want me to be your therapist. I'll just fuck it up and disappoint you."

Stefan was speechless. He grabbed the bottle from Damon's hands and drank straight from it as he watched. He drank a few gulps before he sat it down coughing and breathed out the fire in his mouth. He took a few ragged breaths as he thought on what to say.

"I may not remember anything, but what I do know is that you came for me. You rescued me from that tomb I was in. Not the Blondie, not brown eyes, you. There's nothing you can do to convince me that I can't trust you."

"Stefan…"

"Listen. You say you're my brother. Fine. If you're not actually my brother, that's also fine ok? But I do trust you, no matter what you say because I can see it in your face. I know it. It's the only thing I'm sure of."

Damon rubbed his eyes tiredly as Stefan took another drink.

"Now, tell me how the hell I got locked in that safe."

They chatted a little more light-heartedly and got drunk. Damon was easier drunk. He didn't mind being touched a little more often. He didn't tense and Stefan relaxed. He couldn't explain it. He just couldn't shake the feeling that Damon was the most important thing in his life. He was saviour, brother, protector, purveyor of fine booze and he cared. The drunker they got, the more it shone from his eyes how happy he was to have Stefan with him. That kind of energy only made Stefan feel like he was falling further. It was like Damon was his missing piece, his soul mate. He'd never felt anything so real, so solid. Damon hugged him, laughing with him and telling him stories of their human years and Stefan melted into him and laughed, feeling the safest and the most loved he'd ever felt. This was right.

Finally the alcohol took its toll and the bottle lay empty.

"I'll get one." Stefan giggled.

"Stef you don't have any money." Damon laughed and Stefan motioned for him to wait.

He walked up to the bar. Damon had been telling him about compulsion and he wanted to try it out. He stood at the bar, trying to catch the barman's attention when a smell drifted past his nose. He turned in the direction of it immediately and tried to suss out where it was coming from. The girl walked past, holding her drinks tray, laden down with glasses and it was as though she were the only person in the room.

She smelled…like nothing he'd ever smelled before. He inhaled deeply, watching her chat to a customer and he zeroed in on her neck. He could see her pulse there and he was captivated by it. It filled his mouth with saliva. He opened his mouth to speak but no sound came out. She lifted her tray once more and walked through a doorway to the kitchen and he was through those doors before he realised he'd moved.

She was washing her hands, bending over the sink, before a mirror and she couldn't see him. He moved closer. He wasn't sure what he intended to do but he knew he wanted something from her. Something that suddenly took over his brain. He moved to her, so quickly he blurred in the mirror before her and he caught her eyes.

"I don't want to hurt you. You're not going to scream. I just want a taste that's all. Just a taste." He compelled like Damon had described and the girl stared at him blankly.

He smiled in amazement and leaned down to her neck as he felt fangs fill his mouth. Her pulse quickened and he licked over it, ready.

He heard a whirl of sound and suddenly Damon was in front of him, having taken the girl from his arms and dropped her to the floor dazed. Stefan opened his mouth to protest when Damon held his shoulders and squeezed.

"Not here brother. Not yet."

"I just wanted…"

"I know but I thought I was the teacher. Huh? You want to flunk your first lesson because you haven't experienced my methods yet?" Damon gave a half assured smile and Stefan closed his mouth.

"Baby steps." Damon reminded and Stefan smiled and held Damon's sides warmly. "More booze?"

"Sure." Stefan smiled and Damon put his arm around Stefan's neck and pulled him back through to the bar, teasing his crap compulsion job to make Stefan laugh and forget all about the girl entirely.

Who cared about the girl when Damon was holding him close like this? Who cared about anything other than this feeling of being whole?


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5 TNB

Stefan woke up feeling hungover and looked to his right side. Damon was sleeping slumped in the chair beside him. Stefan had insisted that he stay if he wanted Stefan to sleep off their third bottle of brandy. He sighed and smiled to himself. They had talked until the bar closed and then they'd drank another bottle by the fireplace as Damon explained about Silas, their search for the cure and about who everyone was. He knew Elena had been his girlfriend, but they had split up after her transition. Things between them had changed and it hadn't worked out in the end. Now they were friends.

Caroline was his best friend and confidante and Elena's bestie too, along with a witch named Bonnie who had been dead and now wasn't anymore but still wasn't alive either. It took him a while to get his head around that one! Jeremy was a kid who'd been living there as he was Elena's brother but had since moved in with another guy called Matt. Elena had lived here for a while too as they had searched for him but was now living on campus most of the time or at Matt's. Well, at least that explained the girl things he kept finding in his room.

It was a bit of an overload of information. He watched Damon sleep for a while, wondering on Damon's change of heart in the bar. He'd seemed to be trying to warn him, to push him away and Stefan couldn't figure out why exactly. Why had he said those things? It had seemed like he wanted Stefan not to trust him anymore, but that was never going to happen. He was the only one that Stefan did trust, absolutely.

His angel.

He got up slowly, not wanting to disturb him. It didn't look a comfortable position for him to sleep in and Stefan realised how stupid it was to ask him to sleep in the chair by his bed rather than beside him. He moved to his side and leaned over him, reaching out to shake him awake and offer him the bed instead when he stopped himself. He reached out with his fingertips and moved some hair from Damon's forehead aside. Damon didn't even notice, he was deep in alcohol stupor. Stefan's heart raced. He leaned down, his heart in his throat and brushed Damon's lips with his own, before pulling back immediately as Damon inhaled deeply and moved his head towards him.

Stefan stood back and felt a rush of emotion sweep through him. This guy wasn't his brother. No way. He wouldn't feel like this if he were, it would be gross and impossible and somewhere deep down there would be warning bells or disgust or something. What he was feeling now, felt right and so this brother thing had to be a fabrication.

He nodded to himself as he rationalised it. He wouldn't question it right now though, obviously Damon had a reason for him wanting to believe that, so he'd let it go for a while until he figured out why it was important.

He wandered down the stairs, wondering where Damon kept their blood bags when he bumped into Elena in the foyer.

"Hey." She smiled at him and he stopped surprised.

"Hey." He said unsure.

"I have a key." She demonstrated and he gave an unsure smile in response. "I thought, since you were probably hungover, you might fancy a walk – some fresh air and we can talk."

"Um…" He looked up towards the stairs.

He didn't want to go anywhere without Damon by his side. He felt safest when he was there. Elena gave him a tight lipped smile.

"He'll be out for a bit Stefan. I won't bite. You used to trust me above anyone else."

Stefan doubted that but she seemed sincere and he could use some fresh air now that he thought about it. He nodded and laced up the boots he'd left scattered around the lounge alongside Damon's jacket and shoes. He followed her out and they began to walk quietly.

"So late night? Damon keep you up drinking?" She asked and he nodded and smiled. "Figured as much."

"We had a lot to catch up on."

"Yeah." She agreed. "So where did you get to?"

"Silas, the cure…me in a safe." He said and she made a sound of surprise. "He told me everything."

"Everything?" She paused and touched his arm.

He didn't flinch like normal but he still felt a little uncomfortable.

"Did he explain about us?" She asked nervously and he frowned.

"You were my girlfriend and then you became a vampire. Things changed between us and we broke up." He said simply and she bit her bottom lip and gave a quick nod.

"Yeah."

"But we're friends now right? I mean, you were living at my house."

"Yeah, we are." She linked her arm with his and he allowed it, making her smile.

They walked on as he breathed in the scent of the woods nearby.

"Hey, I've got an idea." She said and he raised his eyebrows in query. "Maybe if we re-enact a couple of the times we met or important things that happened to you, it might stir some memories." She suggested.

"Ok, we could do that."

"Ok." She beamed.

"What first? I met you at school right – on the uh, first day of term?" He remembered her saying and she nodded. "At least it wasn't in some creepy graveyard or something." He chuckled and she bit her lip again. "Seriously I met you in graveyard?"

"Yeah, but it wasn't really a proper meeting I guess, it was the first time we had a real conversation after we bumped into each other in school."

"Ok so school was the first time then?"

"Technically yeah. You wanna go see if you remember?"

"Ok." He agreed and she pulled him along happily as she started chatting away.

As they headed towards the school, she came to a halt and turned to him, looking a little indecisive.

"What?" He asked.

"I know, Damon has been filling you in, but I thought, maybe, there was someone else who could help you remember."

"Who?"

"You." She smiled and he frowned.

She reached into her bag and produced an old and decrepit journal and he looked to it intrigued. She handed it to him and he opened the first page. His name was written on the inside in bold letters. He let out a puff of air as he traced the letters. They still looked so unfamiliar.

"So…I'm a girl then?" He snorted and she seemed a little taken aback by the comment.

He smiled in apology and closed the book.

"Thanks." He said, tucking it into his inside pocket.

She smiled at him but there was something else behind it that he didn't recognise. He patted it, emphasising its presence in his keeping and began to walk again. He'd read it another time. It wasn't important right now. Damon had told him everything he needed to know.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

When Damon woke up Stefan was gone. He sat up abruptly, concerned.

"Stefan?" He called, but there was no answer.

Fear gripped him and he blurred from the room, down the stairs looking for him. He'd looked for 9 whole, torturous months for him and even he was still reeling from the fact that he had in fact rescued his little brother finally. When he woke up in the mornings he kept having to remind himself that the search was really over and Stefan was home, safe. He'd tried to pretend to himself that sleeping in the chair beside Stefan's bed was for Stefan's benefit, but really, he needed it just as much. He needed that reassurance that he'd brought his brother home and now he could rest.

His cell wrang and he searched his jacket for it until he pulled it out.

"Elena, hey…"

"Damon I need your help!" She sounded distressed and he immediately sprang to attention.

"What's wrong?"

"It's Stefan. We were talking and I told him about _us_…" She began.

"You did what?" He blanched.

"He needed to know Damon."

"I know he needed to know but I was handling it! I was going to break it in gently not blurt it out!" He said annoyed and frustrated. "How did he take it?"

"He just ran off and I can't find him anywhere. Damon there are lots of people scattered through the woods paying their respects for the Bell ceremony." She said worriedly and Damon sighed into his hand as he scrubbed his face.

"Ok, I'm on it."

"If he hurts someone…"

"I said I'm on it!" He closed his phone and grumbled as he grabbed his jacket and ran out the door.

Stefan managed to run a bit of a rampage, scaring people but thankfully not feeding as Damon combed the woods for him. What a disaster this was! He caught up to him in the family crypt, blood all over his mouth as he pulled at his hair.

"Stefan?" He approached the entry to the crypt carefully, holding his hands up like he had when he'd opened the safe and Stefan whirled around to look at him.

"I couldn't help myself." Stefan said and indicated to the body which lay dead at his feet and Damon swallowed.

"It's going to be ok."

"It's NOT going to be ok!" Stefan shouted angrily. "I'm a monster. You left that bit out of your story!" Stefan threw a book at him and Damon looked down at it.

It was one of Stefan's journals.

"There's a lot you left out." Stefan choked. "Like the fact that I killed our father."

"Stefan where did you get this…"

"I forced you to become a vampire…"

"Wow, wait till I…"

"I enjoy nothing more than ripping peoples limbs off! You spent the last century hating me because I got our lover killed…"

"Stefan listen to me!" Damon grabbed his shoulders and squeezed them tight and Stefan pushed him back.

"So, you followed me here to ruin my life – steal my girlfriend, kill my friends…who are you?!"

Damon stood back speechless and Stefan crumbled and shed some tears.

"You were my angel." He said and Damon cringed in guilt. "You saved me. Why would you do that if you hate me so much? If you're so evil?"

"I'm not an angel Stefan. I never said I was." Damon exhaled. "And I can't change the past or who I am and I'm not going to apologise for that."

Stefan looked up at him in a mixture of anger and sorrow. Damon licked his lips nervously.

"Silas." Stefan pondered. "Did you help him?"

"What?!" Damon gasped.

"To get rid of me so you could be with Elena. Did you help him put me in that lake?" Stefan stared him out angrily and Damon felt winded at the accusation.

"No." He answered coldly, pulling his emotions in.

"How did you find me then, when no one else had?" Stefan accused and Damon felt his anger boiling.

"I searched, for months."

"You expect me to believe that?"

"I don't give a crap what you believe! You wanna make me the bad guy? Go ahead, join the queue brother!" Damon growled now. "Why stop the habit of a lifetime."

"Why didn't you tell me about who I really was?" Stefan growled defensively and Damon huffed.

"Because of this!" He gestured towards the dead body at Stefan's feet. "I knew if you knew all that crap, this would happen and gee I guess I thought maybe you'd stand a chance if you didn't know." Damon sneered and put his hands in the air as he spoke.

Stefan listened, breathing hard as he thought on that. The pain of knowing for certain that not only was Damon really and truly his brother, he'd been the cause of a lot of his heartache. The way he wrote about Damon in this journal that Elena had given him…It made Damon sound like a monster who cared about no one but himself. Everything Stefan thought he knew, that he'd been sure of since he got out of that safe was up in the air and in question. His heart ached.

"I don't know who you are." Stefan said finally and Damon kept his face blank. "I thought I did."

Damon kept quiet and blank.

"Aren't you going to say something?" He demanded and Damon shrugged.

"What's the point Stef? Everything you've read in there is true in your mind. I'm an evil, lying monster who wants to ruin your life. Simple."

"Except you're not. You came for me." Stefan said hopefully and Damon shook his head.

"I felt guilty about Elena so I wanted to make it right ok? Now you're home and you've got all your Scooby gang around you, it's business as usual." Damon shrugged again.

Stefan felt his chest tighten. Damon gave a smirk and turned to leave him there when Stefan panicked and ran at him, pinning him to the wall. He didn't know whether he wanted to hurt him, beat him…but he had to do something to release this pent up emotion. Damon pushed back at him annoyed and Stefan dove for his mouth, kissing him fully on the lips and Damon paused stunned. Stefan caressed his lips with a raw passion for a few seconds before Damon's mind evidently came back to him and he threw Stefan across the room and panted looking horrified.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6 TNB

"What the hell?!" Damon bellowed as Stefan picked himself up from the floor.

His stomach churned violently as he took in the expression of horror and revulsion on Damon's face.

"What the hell was that?!"

Stefan didn't know what to say, he just stood limply. Damon shook his head and wiped at his mouth and Stefan felt his heart breaking at that. His angel – perhaps not a real angel, but he still the need to be near him, to touch him felt just as important now as it had this morning. He couldn't reconcile the person he'd read about and his Damon angel. They couldn't be the same person. Damon must be different inside and only let his true self show sometimes – that could explain in. Deep inside he was what Stefan knew him to be, what he'd shown him over the past few days. He had to be.

They stared at each other at a loss for words as Damon studied him, squinting and keeping a distance. Stefan sat down on one of the cement benches and waited. Damon just stood there, swallowing nervously as the wheels in his head turned. It seemed to take an age before Damon realised why Stefan was feeling like he was. He cleared his throat nervously.

"I'm not an angel Stefan. I'm not cut out for some pedestal in your mind. We're family – we care about each other and we hate each other too. You put up with my existence because you feel some familial obligation to me. You hate what I am and you always try to excuse what I've done, but you know deep down that I'll never change because I like being this way. That's the way it's always been. That's all."

"That's not how I feel." Stefan said simply and Damon took in a deep breath and squirmed. "You're not the person I read about in that book. I know you're much more than that."

"It'll come back to you." Damon said tightly.

"I don't want to remember you like that. I need you. You're everything." Stefan lay his heart out naked before him and Damon looked close to vomiting with nerves.

"What you need, is to grow a set." Damon tensed as he spoke.

He had to sour the milk here. Stefan was feeling some strange and horrifying emotions. He'd kissed him and Damon had felt the passion and love in it. This was so far beyond wrong it made him shiver. How the hell had this happened? Had he done something to encourage this? He had known that by being the first face Stefan had seen when he'd been rescued, that Stefan would think of him as a saviour and he would be inclined to trust him most, but love? Not just familial love or love for a hero or friend, but _love_, love? It made him want to vomit.

"You need to stop cowering like a child and pull yourself together, move on with your life. Pick up the pieces now. Be a man for god's sake." He knew his words were harmful, but he had to.

Stefan was wrong, he was going wrong and Damon's presence was the cause. As he spoke he saw the words spear Stefan's heart, but he kept his face blank.

"I'm done babysitting brother." He turned and walked out of the crypt, leaving Stefan to pant in heartbreak, alone in the dark once more.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Stefan had wept and punched the walls in the crypt until his hands were covered in his own blood. He felt lost, adrift in a sea of emotions that stung him as though he were bathing in acid. Damon had sounded like the person described in this journal. Was it all really true?

He couldn't bear to think like that. He'd lose his mind. What was he going to do? Where would he go? Would Damon let him come back to the boarding house they both seemed to live in? Would he talk to him anymore? Would he be there? So many questions, each ripping a new hole in his chest as he realised he truly didn't know the answers.

He shouldn't have been so stupid. He shouldn't have kissed him. He should have known that Damon wouldn't feel the same. They were brothers and brothers didn't share those kinds of feelings. He had just needed to be comforted so much. He'd needed to show him how much he adored him. The need to show him how he felt had been too overwhelming for him not to and now Damon had turned his back on him.

His angel was gone and he wasn't coming back.

He lay down on the bench and tried to sleep. Maybe things would be clearer in the morning. Maybe he could take it all back somehow. Maybe it wasn't too late.

He barely slept. The cement beneath him providing no comfort and yet the familiarity of the texture, he remembered. Yes, the comfort of blankets, warmth and a mattress were new memories. This cold, hard surface beneath him, he was used to. Perhaps it was inevitable that he should end up here in this crypt. Perhaps he should stay here and accept that this was what his life was supposed to be. Perhaps he should just give up and stop trying to get back what everyone was telling him he'd lost, when the only thing he cared about was his angel. He didn't care about his memory anymore. It had been interesting to learn about who he'd been, but he wasn't that person anymore. Too much had happened to him and now the person who'd written that journal seemed like a naïve, fool.

That person had been so full of empathy, it had been to his detriment. He'd cared too much about people and despite that, he'd ended up betrayed, hurt, and at the bottom of a lake for a whole year while his loved ones got on with their lives. Elena had said it had been three months before they'd realised that something was wrong and only because Silas had reappeared and pretended to be him.

Really? Three months he'd been screaming in agony, drowning over and over again in the dark and none of them had thought that his absence should be a concern? Tears rolled down his cheeks as he thought on that. Some friends they were.

If they'd loved the person in that journal as much as he had evidently cared for them, they would have noticed something was wrong. In the end the person who'd never given up searching was Damon, but he was willing to bet that guilt was a huge factor – just like Damon had admitted. He could believe that for sure.

But Damon was his angel.

He shook his head and pulled at his hair as he sobbed. His mind was torn apart at the separation from the only person he thought he knew. His angel and this bastard of a brother in the journal. He couldn't be both could he? He had to be one or the other and his harsh words as he'd left tonight made him sound like the worst option. No, no, no!

He turned on his side and buried his face in his arm as he exhaled and tried to shut his mind out. Sleep would bring perspective. It had too or he would lose it, he'd go mad.

He fell asleep eventually, only to awake every few hours screaming as he opened his eyes into the darkness of the crypt, grasping for the lid he thought would be above him. Each time he realised that he wasn't in the safe he cried out for Damon. It always took a few minutes for him to remember and realise he was alone again. As the sun rose, light filtered into the crypt and he sat up, thankful.

He was exhausted and sore and utterly, utterly defeated. He looked to the body on the ground and chewed his lip. Damon had said that he'd wanted to keep his vampire nature from him because it would send him into a spiral. He had to admit that indeed that's what had happened as soon as he read the journal and known all of the things Damon had kept from him. Perhaps Damon's plan had been a sensible one, but they'd never know now.

He shook his head as he rose from the bench and dragged the body outside. He'd bury it and try not to let the hunger in him, make him into the person from that journal. That person was dead. He wouldn't allow himself to be so used and naïve like that. Evidently caring so much, got you stepped on by others and he wouldn't make that same mistake again. He'd do as Damon suggested and he'd man up. Find a place to live, sort himself and figure out what he wanted to do with his life, his freedom now. He didn't have to stay here. In fact he didn't really have to care did he? He'd read that he could turn his emotions off. He could do that. Why bother with this struggle, this pain in him when it was for nothing? His angel was gone and he might not come back.

Why the hell should he bother trusting any of these people or attempt to rebuild a life lost to the water? He could just turn it off and leave. Make his own way, make himself into a new person without any baggage or recriminations or anger. Yes, he'd do that.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Damon didn't sleep at all. Stefan didn't come back and he hadn't been surprised. Elena was already at the boarding house stressing when he returned and he really didn't have the energy for her. She would be mad at the way he'd handled the situation – no surprises there.

They argued fiercely, she cried, he gave in and comforted her. The same story as always. They were constantly on repeat like a record spinning without a DJ. He didn't mention the kiss being his motivator to rip Stefan's heart out. No, he left a few parts out that she didn't need to know. He was sure the blame would fall on him anyway, it always did. Now that Klaus was gone, he was the scapegoat for all wrong doings in Mystic Falls. Luckily he didn't give a damn anymore.

He'd rescued his brother and he would be fine. Now he could go back to not caring. His job was done.

After a few days went by, he started to become troubled. He tried to ignore the feeling, drinking to aid unconsciousness in the night, but he couldn't ignore it completely. Stefan hadn't come back and no one had heard from him. He'd been too harsh with him, made a mistake. The longer the days stretched on the more he knew it was true. He knew Stefan could look after himself. He wallowed in his own pity – that was who he was but he was still strong. He was still a fighter and he had so much to live for. Then again, that was the person he'd known before the safe. This new Stefan was so different. He was needy, afraid and apparently gay?

He couldn't shake off the wrongness of it. How did someone change so completely? The trauma must have been so much that it had changed him to the core. Damon had been sure that Stefan would still be the same person fundamentally. That he'd still react as he would have done, it would just take a little time for that to happen, but this new Stefan hadn't behaved anything like he'd expected.

He found himself actually reading some old psychology text books to try and understand what was going on in Stefan's mind now. The only conclusions he came to, were that he couldn't foresee who Stefan may become now, what decisions he would make and he couldn't underestimate his own importance in this. It wasn't that Stefan's sexuality had changed, it was that Damon was his world. He'd reacted stupidly to that kiss. He'd probably done more damage to Stefan than being locked in the safe had and it began to cripple him with guilt.

Once a week had gone by, bodies started to appear in the woods, new reports and all. He knew then that he'd fucked up big. The arms and legs of the bodies were always ripped off and scattered and that meant something big. Stefan didn't care. Stefan always tried to put the bodies back together again because he felt remorse afterwards but now he wasn't bothering to. He just ripped them apart and left them where they fell.

"Damon what's happening?" Elena had cried fearfully. "I thought you had this? I thought I could trust you help him?"

"You love him so much, why aren't you out there looking for him?!" He shouted back angrily and they'd fought like cat and dog.

"Why would he turn it off? Why? Why wouldn't he call me?" She'd sobbed.

"Newsflash – he hates us Elena. You let the cat out of the bag and now he doesn't trust anyone. Why the hell would he when he thinks we were playing him along?"

"You have to talk to him, do something before we lose him."

"If he's turned it off, there's nothing I can do to make him turn it back on."

"You made me. Think!" She said and he shook his head.

"That was different, you still had your memories, you knew who you cared about."

"He cares about you. You are the one who'll be able to save him from himself. It won't be because he loves me, it'll be because he loves you. You're his angel."

He scoffed at her comments and she grabbed his arms shaking him. He knew he had no real choice here. She was right. If anyone stood a chance at getting Stefan to turn his humanity back on, it was him. If he could still reach him as this angelic figure whom Stefan had placed so highly in his mind, there was a chance. Maybe he'd have to play the part a bit more convincingly.

Maybe, he could pretend to be what Stefan thought he was.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7 TNB

He hadn't had to search long before he found him. Stefan was being careless now that he didn't care if he was caught. It made Damon shiver in recollection of their first few years as vampires. Stefan hadn't cared then about getting caught, he'd felt almost omnipotent to it all and had discarded bodies throughout their house until Damon had left Lexi to get him in order.

Perhaps there was still a little of the Stefan he'd known at work somewhere buried deep in his subconscious.

He found him in a fancy mansion, an hour away from Mystic Falls. He'd moved in, compelling the owner to allow it and the rich family, who were the proprietors, were now simple house slaves at Stefan's beck and call. He'd slammed the door in Damon's face and laughed at his appearance. Damon felt his chest tighten in fear and pain.

He remembered Stefan like this. He was ruthless. He was quite capable of killing Damon without batting an eyelid. He had to be careful here. He kept returning, practically beating down the door to the house until Stefan finally allowed his entry.

"Eager aren't you?" Stefan had huffed and indicated for him to take a seat across from him as Stefan pulled a half conscious girl onto his lap and bit into her neck.

Damon watched, frowning at how rough he was feeding from her. Damon didn't particularly care about the girl's life, or the bodies he left strewn around. Not really. It was the utter lack of anything he recognised in the person in front of him that made him keep returning.

Stefan grinned, pulling his mouth away and licking his lips.

"You want some?" He raised an eyebrow and Damon rose from his seat and took the girl from him, biting into her bosom and drinking as Stefan chuckled and watched excitedly.

Damon made a point of letting himself enjoy her as she drained and stopped breathing. Stefan seemed impressed at his lack of remorse for death and he sat back ready for the verbal battle. Game on.

"So, Mystic Falls such a bore that you came looking for a new playmate?" Stefan crossed his arms and smiled at him.

"Is that what you are?"

"I could be. Two bastards together could be fun."

Damon huffed a little at his use of words.

"Well that's what you are isn't it? That's what you tried to tell me all along. That you were a soul-less bastard?"

Damon swallowed his anger and hurt and gave a fake smile in response.

"Not so evil though are you? You were tamed, probably by brown eyes right? She's got that effect on weaker people."

"You mean on you?" Damon countered and he nodded.

"On Stefan I suppose. Poor, pathetic Stefan Salvatore. Thank god he's dead."

"Oh, I get it. So you're not Stefan anymore." Damon leaned forward, staring at him with intensity and Stefan stared right back at him, blank.

"He drowned at the bottom of that lake, so if you're here for him, then I guess you better head back home to the journals." Stefan was so blank, so matter of fact. "Unless of course you want to stay here and play. I wouldn't mind."

"This is your idea of playing?" Damon swallowed and indicated to the bodies scattered around the room and Stefan grinned.

"Why, did you have something else in mind?" Stefan leaned forward and looked at Damon's body, letting his eyes roam and Damon tensed and frowned in disgust.

"What's going on with you?" He said and Stefan chuckled.

"What? Can't a man appreciate a pretty face? Yours was the first one I saw, why would you be surprised I'd want you."

"Because I'm your _brother_." Damon said through gritted teeth and Stefan sat back and sighed.

"So? Grow a set. Weren't those your words to me?"

"Yeah, about that. I'm sorry ok? I want you to come home with me Stef. I need you." Damon swallowed again as he tried to imagine what Stefan's ideal of him would say.

"Stef. So familiar. Why do you even care? You're job was done – you fucked up my life, then you found me and stood me on my feet again. Guilt absolved. Job done. Now leave me alone will you?"

"Not until you turn it back on and deal with your problems Stefan. This isn't dealing, this is hiding."

"Isn't that exactly what you're doing? You still think it's your job to get me back to normal because only then will that twit of a girl give you back your balls. You want free of your obligation? Fine. I forgive you. I don't hold you responsible for anything shit that happened to me. Do you know why?" He paused for effect as Damon paled and studied him. "I deserved everything I got."

Stefan stood up and moved around the room, stepping over bodies as Damon tried to breathe and think. Stefan brought out a bottle of brandy from the cupboard and opened it, putting it to his lips and drinking a gulp. It was the same brand as the bottle they had shared at the Grill when they'd talked. Damon tried to remain as impassive as possible as Stefan offered it to him, but Stefan could tell from how tense he was, that the correlation was not lost on him.

Stefan took a seat again and watched him with interest as Damon swallowed a mouthful.

"The person I was, got himself trodden on because he allowed it to happen. You knew that all along didn't you? You tried to teach him not to care and he demonised you instead. Everyone does. Those girls, the way they spoke to you. Man, why the hell did you put up with that?"

Damon looked him in the eye. Some of what he was saying was true. It still burned him though. He'd been tamed a little by Elena, out of his love for her. He knew it had made him weaker. Even now that they weren't together and she blamed him for a lot of what happened with Stefan, he bent to her will because he still loved her.

"It doesn't bother me." He said trying to look smug. "I'm happy to be the bad guy. I revel in it."

"Sure you do. That's why you care so much about me. As long as I am the good one, you can stay being the bad one and pretending that that is who you are."

"What are you babbling about?" Damon sighed, rolling his eyes.

"No one questions why you do things do they? No one cares how you feel because you're the bad guy. No one tries to help you feel or care because they don't think you're capable. It makes it easy for you to convince yourself of that same thing, rather than admit you love me. You love that girl, but you love me more." There was hint of amusement and playfulness in Stefan's tone that made Damon clench his jaw and scowl at him.

"Don't lie Damon. I'm all you've been thinking about and all I wanted was a kiss."

"What a delightful ego you've got there." Damon snorted and drank from the bottle again.

"Has the guilt kept you awake? I bet it has, hasn't it? You failed your poor, broken, little brother again and now he is the big bad wolf."

"Please, you're no wolf Stefan. You may have flipped off your humanity switch but you're still hiding. Now turn it back on and let's sort this, before I have to put you down for a while for your own good."

"Oh?" Stefan rose from his seat challengingly and Damon did the same, setting down the brandy. "What are you going to do big brother?"

Damon stood ready to fight and Stefan laughed at him mockingly.

"And if I did turn it back on, what are you going to do then huh? You couldn't handle it before. What happens the next time I try to kiss you or touch your body?"

And there it was.

Damon's blood drained from his face and Stefan smiled happily.

"Because I did. I worshipped you. I thought I might actually be in love with you. It didn't matter if you were my brother because you _saved me_! _You were my angel._" Stefan put on a mocking tone of desperation and Damon tried to take a breath.

Stefan took a step forward and Damon growled, his vampire face coming to the surface while Stefan remained calm.

"Which one would you prefer? The incestuous longings of a broken brother? Or the new improved, fun version. You could stay with me. We could make this state ours. We could have so much fun here and you could teach me things. Be my brother. Or you could nurse a pathetic wreck who wants nothing more than to lie in your arms and touch you…inappropriately." Stefan leaned further in towards his face and whispered the last word, winking as he did so and Damon took a step back. "The choice is yours, brother."

Stefan didn't see the fist coming. He fell backwards with a crash as Damon jumped on top of him. They wrestled furiously, snapping with fangs and head butting each other until they were bloodied and irate. They were equally matched and they knew it. Damon had to do something to put him down so he could figure out his next move. Something Stefan wouldn't expect.

He pinned him down and placed their mouths together. Stefan paused in surprise and Damon kissed his lips, biting his bottom one as he did so and Stefan relaxed his hold and stopped fighting in shock. As soon as he stopped fighting, Damon carefully pulled out his vervain needle – his insurance that he would bring Stefan home.

He prepared himself, jolting in surprise when Stefan took control of the kiss and pushed his tongue inside of his mouth. He closed his eyes and tried to pretend it was anyone but his brother as he lured Stefan into a false sense of security, kissing him back, until he jammed the needle into Stefan's thigh and pushed the vervain inside of him. Stefan shouted into his mouth, a strangled cry of shock and disbelief and Damon tore his mouth away, wiping it and gasping for air as Stefan frowned in pain and looked up at him.

He choked and made sounds of plea and Damon stood up and brushed himself off.

"Didn't tell you about vervain did I?" He smiled and Stefan fought to stay conscious but lost and closed his eyes, becoming limp.

Damon stood for a few minutes while he caught his breath. That had been a close fight. Thank god he'd brought the vervain. He tried not to think about the fact that Stefan's tongue had been in his mouth. He exhaled and closed his eyes. Stefan had made his feelings clear today. What he'd feared had been correct. Stefan with humanity had romantic feelings of love for him. Worse than that, they extended further into a sexual component. He shook his head. If he'd taken Elena with him when he'd been searching the lake that day, this would all have played out so much simpler. If she'd opened the safe, perhaps Stefan would have fallen in love with her like he was supposed to. Instead, this had happened and he had no idea how to undo it.

He swallowed his fear as he looked down at him again. He would have to figure this out later. Right now, the most important thing to do was to get Stefan back home and force him to turn it on again. Not that Stefan having no humanity was a bad thing, if he could only keep his profile low and didn't endanger them. There were plenty of vampires who functioned perfectly without their humanity. They were just careful about it. But like this, as this _new _Stefan_,_ he was a wild card and he was dangerous. Too dangerous to be left on his own and Damon had no intentions of joining him and having to keep him in line.

He bundled him into the trunk of the Camaro yet again and set off towards Mystic Falls. The drive was quick and uneventful. Blessedly Stefan didn't wake at all. He'd given him a fair dose of vervain to keep him down for a while, not just to weaken him. He dropped him onto the carpet in the study as he put the next part of his plan into action. He chewed his lip as he considered it. He hadn't told anyone about his idea. This was the last straw of his plan and his patience. Talking wasn't going to work, he felt sure of that. Fighting wasn't going to make Stefan turn it back on either. He had a high pain threshold and he could hold out until Damon gave in if he tried to beat him into turning it back on. Elena was nothing to this Stefan so her pleading would mean nothing to him either. This could be the only way to bring him back.

He took a deep breath and dragged in the safe, laying it next to Stefan's body. He hoped to god this would work. He opened the lid and lifted Stefan up, placing him inside of it. Stefan stirred as Damon stood back and looked down at him.

"I'm sorry brother." He mumbled and Stefan opened his eyes.

"Damon, what are you doing?" He groaned and then he realised where he was. "What are you doing?" He sighed calmly.

Damon chewed at his lip and Stefan tried to move to sit up. His body felt so weak. He grumbled and fought to move as Damon just stared down at him.

"What do you think you're doing?"

"I'm being your angel." Damon answered and slammed the lid down, sealing it up tight as the darkness surrounded Stefan once more.

Stefan looked up, reaching to touch the lid as his eyes failed him. He could feel every bump and scratch on the lid that he'd made during his year inside, pounding and clawing at it in desperation and fear. As he thought on that he began to chuckle. Damon was such an idiot. Did he actually think that Stefan cared if he locked him in here? He felt nothing and it was bliss. Hell , being in here might actually help him meditate for a while and get some peace. Splendid.

"So what's the plan Damon?" Stefan chuckled. "Leave me in here until I promise to turn it back on? We know what happens if I do that?" He teased.

Damon stayed silent and Stefan smirked to himself.

"Oh please brother take me, take me…"Stefan whined in a mocking voice. "I love you so much! Kiss me!"

He made some kissing and sexual noises and heard Damon's heavy breathing outside of the safe. He smiled victorious. Damon was too easy.

"Oh Damon, my angel, make love to me…" He cried out and heard Damon growl and leave the room.

He laughed whole heartedly until his body shook and he wiped tears from his cheeks. This could be fun, a nice distraction from killing randomly and having no real feelings. If he was to be honest, having no emotion was rather dull but at least it was better than being a crumbling wreck of a man.

He heard footsteps coming back into the room and he listened intently. There was a pause in movement and he strained his ears to pick up on what Damon was doing. There was a vibrating electrical sound suddenly, making the safe shake slightly and tremor and he frowned trying to place it. It sounded like a drill. What would he need a drill for? The safe was already locked secure. There was no way Stefan could get out. He tried to shout to ask but the drilling sound blocked out if there was any response from Damon at all. A tiny pinprick of light opened at his feet and he squinted at it in surprise. What was Damon doing?

"What are you doing?" He called out but the drilling began again.

He lay silent, listening to his heart beat as several more holes were drilled at his feet before the noise stopped.

"Turn it back on Stefan. Don't make me do this." Damon's voice warning him.

"What? You going to drill into the box and through me like in a magic show? Those magic boxes are faked with mirrors brother. Or did you always believe it was real?" Stefan mocked him and Damon's tone became colder, calmer.

"I'm warning you. This is your last chance to turn it back on."

"Go ahead! Good job! You really are everything you said you were, bravo my bastard brother. Bravo!" Stefan cheered and sniggered to himself.

He could handle pain but Damon wouldn't be able to handle the guilt. He'd already proved he couldn't deal with strong emotions like that.

There was silence again. He listened carefully. Nothing happened. Then he felt something strange. A coldness in his legs. He shifted uncomfortably and felt it. Wet, coldness. He tried to look down but all he could see was the small amount of light coming through the holes at his feet. He stared at them in question when he saw the water coming through. He frowned in surprise and opened his mouth. Damon was pouring water into the holes.

He gave out a half laugh, half gasp in surprise and began to chuckle.

"Is that your plan? Really? How original!" He laughed, but Damon didn't answer.

The water continued to pour in. His feet were almost submerged now and he kicked at the water reflexively in discomfort. He hadn't missed the wet at all.

"Damon!" He shouted, still no answer. "Damon let me out and I'll do it ok?"

He tried to sound as convincing as he could. He had to sound fearful so Damon would believe he was in distress and willing to play. Then he would rip his heart out and feed it to him. Enough was enough.

The water continued its slow journey upwards until his back was soaking and the water level began to increase around him.

"Damon! Please don't do this to me!" He cried out with his best acting voice. "Damon I'm scared, please!"

Why wasn't Damon biting? Was he even still in the room? He listened carefully, tuning out the sound of the water running in and heard Damon shift. He must have been kneeling by the safe but now he was standing and walking away.

"Damon! Damon help me!" He shouted out but Damon's footsteps continued to walk away and he felt a shiver creep into him.

He'd be back. This was just a scare tactic. Damon cared too much. He gasped as the water level rose and covered his chest now. It was icy cold, just like he remembered. He couldn't control the burst of desperate breath that struggled to keep him calm. He put his hands up to the lid and tried to push on it. He knew it was hopeless though, it had been all that long year he had tried.

He felt a tiny tremor of fear creep into him and he bit his lip. No! No he wouldn't turn it on. Not for that bastard. Not for any of them! He took a deep breath and coughed suddenly when some water reached his chin. He tried to raise his body above the level but he couldn't move. He began to pant for air as he thought of what magic words would bring this to an end.

"Damon!" He screamed.

No movement. The water made him cough again and he pounded on the lid.

"Angel! Save me angel!" He screamed and this time he knew he felt fear – real fear, cold and heavy on his heart and he coughed and panicked.

No! No! Please, I can't. I can't! He tried to stay calm but his body was reacting to the peril he was now in.

"Please!" He cried out and the water suddenly seemed to come to life and surged into his mouth, gagging him with its embrace.

He fought to spit it out but there was nowhere to release it to the air. He was fully submerged and he panicked and screamed as every emotion he'd been repressing flooded into him faster than the water had. He screamed and screamed, pounding and clawing as he felt himself dying. He was drowning, drowning again and he would continue.

Drowning, screaming, drowning, screaming, drowning, drowning, always in the dark, in the cold, over and over and over and over. He screamed with his last breath of oxygen in his lungs and then it was over.


	8. Chapter 8

Remember guys, we are seeing quite a dark side to Damon in the show right now. He always thinks of himself first as that's who he is and he has demonstrated this on many occasions even to Elena. Stick with me guys. Try not to hate our Damon. Remember despite everything – he never does things without a reason. Those reasons may not be excuseable for some people but he believes in them fully. This story is both of them at their most intense.

I always have a plan and don't torture them without one. Remember how crazed you all were during the mated bond doctor experiments? The show has gone very dark and they've really taken a risk with their audience and…so have I with this one. I promise some fluff and love and it will be really worth the wait. Suspension of disbelief is the key.

*Remember to sign in if you want me to reply lovelies.*

Chapter 8 TNB

He awoke, gasping and felt the water in his mouth. He panicked, trying to breathe again as the horrible nightmare that had been most of his life re-emerged in full technicolour. Had he just dreamt there had been anything but this? He struggled and screamed as was his routine. Why fight the routine? His body always pushed him to respond like this and there was no point in fighting it. He pounded on the lid, kicking with his legs desperately, failing to make any real impact as his vision began to darken again. At least the periods of him being alive again were brief.

Suddenly there was light above him and he squinted as he tried to focus his eyes. A face, a face looking down! Brown eyes and then hands reaching in to pull him from the water. He reached up desperately and allowed himself to be freed once more. He coughed violently as the girl helped him climb from the safe onto the carpet. He gasped for air wildly and looked around.

"Stefan oh my god! I'm so sorry!" The girl cried as she tried to help him up but he pushed her away as he tried to think.

"Where is he?" He coughed and she shook her head.

Damon walked slowly into the room and stared down at him and he looked up into his face. A moment passed between them.

"I…" Stefan croaked, unsure of what to say and Damon searched his face, checking for any signs of deception perhaps.

Stefan's eyes filled with tears and he averted his gaze down to the floor. Damon seemed satisfied with that response and left the room again. Stefan exhaled and let the tears escape as he tried to glue back together all of his mind and feelings. He'd been a crazed monster. He'd killed so many people. He sobbed as Elena tried to comfort him, rubbing his back and whispering words of love.

"I would never have let him do this Stefan. I'm so sorry." She whispered and he shook his head.

"No. He was right. He was right." He sobbed and she kissed his shoulder.

He'd given Damon no choice in this. Damon had known his resolve not to turn it back on and this had been the only way to get him frightened enough to break through and turn it back on. Damon knew that Stefan had latched onto him because he had saved him. Clearly Damon had tried to recreate that experience, placing Elena as the saviour. Damon was smart. He'd planned her stumbling across this. It hadn't been an accident that she had turned up here at this moment. Damon must have called her here so she would realise what he'd done and rip the safe open to get Stefan out, therefore becoming his new angel.

Well, it didn't work like that.

Elena helped him to his feet and he looked down at the safe shivering. He knew Damon wouldn't be able to understand or comprehend this, but despite being the one to put him through this trauma again, he'd actually saved him again. Not from the safe this time, but from himself.

Elena helped him to his room and ran a bath for him as he sat on the floor numb. The person that had been described to him as the ripper, he had most certainly become, even without his memories. Was that just fate? Could you ever re-write a person, start on a fresh page again or was it all really down to genetics? He'd thought that leaving Stefan Salvatore behind would give him the chance to be a new person, but in the end he'd ended up not so far off the worst example of what Stefan Salvatore had been. He shook his head. He couldn't change who he was innately and neither could Damon. Damon was right. His only option was to try and rebuild with the help of those who cared and try to learn from who he'd been.

He wouldn't ever be that same Stefan again, of that he had no doubt, but it didn't mean that he wouldn't become someone familiar to these people again. Perhaps he could have these relationships again. A friend, a brother, a confidante. Having people around you was what made life worth living wasn't it?

Elena offered to help him into the bath tub and he shook his head and gave her a smile. Yeah, she'd been his girlfriend and they no doubt had had a physical relationship, but he still didn't know her and he didn't feel any stirrings which made him believe he wanted her in that way. Perhaps they'd come with time.

She left him to it and he paused, staring at the tub. He'd just been immersed in water, drowning again. The bath tub offered a similar environment. Should he just dry himself instead? The thought of a shower even made him uneasy. She had put bubbles and essential oils in the water and he inhaled deeply trying to rationalise with his fear. It was warm, it was comforting and it would help him. He nodded to himself and climbed in. It _was_ warm and comforting and he closed his eyes. He could hear them both shouting and arguing with each other downstairs, inevitably ending up with Elena sobbing and Damon feeling remorseful. What a strange relationship those two had. It made him wonder how they'd been a couple at all. They had been though. Damon had taken her from him and the old Stefan had suffered so badly from that, that he'd tried to leave, instead ending up in the safe.

This time around he wanted things to be simple. He didn't want the baggage but he wouldn't ignore it anymore as he had been recently. He'd start fresh with them, give them that chance too and maybe they could move on together. He nodded to himself at that thought. Then he remembered what he'd said to Damon at the house he'd been hiding at and his stomach churned. He practically propositioned him, detailing all the sordid details about how much he lusted after him. It hadn't been true. He'd done it make Damon freak out. In truth he didn't know or understand his feelings for his brother really. He knew he wanted to touch him, to kiss him, to be near him, but he hadn't considered any sexual scenarios. He'd only said that to get a reaction.

It was clear that Damon believed everything he'd said. He'd kissed him as a way of getting him under control. He felt humiliated and hurt by that. How was he going to play this?

He lay in the tub until the water went cold and he rose and wrapped himself in a towel. The smell of the soap reminded him of that first night he'd awoken here, with Damon drying him off and tending to him. He sighed and sat down on the bed as he recalled it. Damon, his blue eyes so tender and full of brotherly concern and love. He'd begun to dress him when he'd awoken startled and he'd had to step back. Everything had gone so wrong.

He'd give anything to have Damon look at him like that again. He probably never would. Damon had thought he'd brought his beloved brother back home, instead he'd gotten _this_. This person who didn't know up from down and was sure of only one thing, that he wanted to kiss him and be embraced by him.

He groaned as he dressed. What a nightmare. Damon had been right when he'd told him he needed to pick up his life again and grow a backbone. He had to start right now by going down into that lounge and talking things out with Damon.

He took a deep breath and descended the stairs. Damon had obviously moved the safe down to the basement as there was just a puddle on the carpet now where it had lain, with the closed off water pick laying on the floor. He shuddered at the sight of it and moved through towards the fireplace. This seemed to be Damon's favourite room. He sat down and warmed himself as he tried to plan how to have this conversation. Brandy would help. He stood up and went over to the brandy cabinet, searching through Damon's bottles until he found the one they'd drank at the bar that night they'd talked. It was also the same one he'd drank as he tried to spread Damon's psychological guts on the table too, but he swallowed down that memory and pulled it from the cabinet. His hands shook as he poured two glasses. He'd never felt so nervous.

He waited patiently and eventually Damon appeared. He moved to the fireplace casually and put some more logs on the fire and Stefan took a deep breath.

"Feeling better?" Damon asked with his back turned and Stefan grunted in affirmation. "Good."

"Can we talk?" Stefan asked and Damon seemed to take a deep breath too.

He turned around and gave him a weak smile, before rising and sitting across from him at a comfortable distance. Stefan motioned to the glass sitting on the table at Damon's right hand and Damon looked down in surprise.

"Thanks." He said and took a sip.

Stefan took a mouthful of his too, the liquid no longer burning his throat or making him cough. His body was too numb with adrenaline right now to notice.

"I don't know where to start." Stefan admitted nervously and Damon took another sip. "The things I said back there, I didn't mean them."

"You sounded pretty sure." Damon commented.

"I was trying to make you feel uncomfortable."

Damon nodded and looked down at the floor. Stefan felt his chest tighten.

"I don't know what I feel, for anyone. I'm confused." He said and Damon shifted uncomfortably. "I'm sorry I kissed you, I just thought I needed some connection to somebody."

"I think you'll find Elena a much better choice brother."

Stefan nodded and drank some more bourbon.

"I don't think about you like…"

"Stefan." Damon said softly, discomfort evident in his voice.

"No, listen. I don't think about you like that. I was just coming out with things. I don't want to have sex…" He tried to explain and Damon was on his feet again swiftly, making him pause in surprise.

"We don't need to do this alright? All's forgiven, back to normal, whoopty doo. Let's just move on ok? Going round in circles is giving me a migraine." He huffed, sitting his empty glass down and leaving, heading for his room.

Stefan sat stupefied and speechless. He'd known this would be hard but did Damon have to humiliate him like this? He needed to explain and get it off his chest and instead Damon had just made him feel like a fool. He sighed unhappily and tried not to feel angry.

The next few days were terse at best as Damon continued to be aloof and pretend everything was fine. It most certainly wasn't fine. Stefan couldn't even brush past him without Damon practically recoiling. It made Stefan mad. He was trying and Damon just kept pulling his mind back to everything that had happened between them. How could he move on when Damon was behaving like this?

He poured his attention into reading the rest of his journals, despairing the further into them he read. He didn't want them anymore. He saw no point. He'd known he'd feel this way but he'd had to give this old Stefan a chance before he threw him away entirely.

He tossed them into the fire one after the other as Elena and Damon both watched in shock.

"Are you sure you wanna be doing that brother?"

"Positive." He'd answered, unflinchingly and Damon and Elena had both frowned nervously.

Stefan's new page would start now. The fact that he was ridding his room of some of the sentimental junk he had kept for a long time seemed to unite Damon and Elena in their concern that he was making a mistake. It was the first time he'd seen them agree on something and he found it comical.

Nights brought his nightmares again, except this time there was no angel saving him at the end, just the face that looked like his, laughing at him. He managed not to cry out for Damon when they happened and he was so proud of that. He was dealing with it on his own. That's the way it had to be. That certainly seemed to be the way that Damon preferred it as he never once commented on hearing the episodes as they occurred. Life fell into some semblance of normalcy and Elena began to relax and believe that Stefan was on the mend finally.

He'd taken to getting to know the blonde too – after all she wanted to be in his company so much and she was rather charming. He did feel better for having her around, he even laughed when he was with her. He could see how she would have been his closest confidante. The more time he spent with Caroline and Elena, the less he saw Damon and Damon seemed to relax too, even allowing an occasion squeeze of Stefan's shoulder. Things seemed like they would be ok.

Elena went back to college, finally sure that Stefan would be ok and he waved them both off as both girls promised they'd call every day. It was just he and Damon in the house now. Damon busied himself in the library most of the time and Stefan gave him his space. Their first night alone in the house felt so strange and quiet. They had a blackout, thanks to a storm that had left them putting candles around the place. His room looked spooky in the dim light as he lay down to sleep. Darkness still made him feel on edge, but he wasn't about to admit that to Damon. Damon thought he was right as rein again – still without his long term memory but ok otherwise.

As he drifted to sleep he heard the storm continue outside of his window and he shuddered. It'd be morning soon enough. His dreams seemed to reflect the weather though, full of strange turbulence and colours as he searched for something. He couldn't remember what he was looking for but he knew it was important. He had to keep looking. He stumbled along a woodland path, trying to see with the aid of his torch when he came across a black safe. His heart stopped as he realised he'd seen it before. He reached down, noticing the safe was locked and pulled at the wheel. He had such an overwhelming sense of dread he could taste it in his mouth. Whatever was in here, he wasn't going to want to see, but he couldn't stop himself. He had to know. He had to!

The wheel clunked as it released and he took a deep breath and pulled it open. It was filled with murky water and seaweed and he knelt down to get a closer look when he saw it. It was him, his body mummified and frozen in terror. His mouth open in silent scream as the remains of what would have been hands reached outwards as though to grab him in desperation. He fell back screaming in abject terror.

He screamed like he'd never screamed in his life and within seconds he was being pulled from the dream into the darkness of the room. He screamed for Damon, no longer caring about the strangeness between them as he fumbled around trying to find any source of light. His door flew open and Damon rushed to him, scaring him even more and Damon threw his arms around him and whispered comforting words into his ear.

"I got you, it's ok Stefan, it's ok. I'm right here brother." He whispered and Stefan sobbed in relief and clung to him.

This was the first real physical contact they'd had for so long and he tightened his hold as though Damon would evaporate. His breaths were ragged and urgent and Damon pulled back from him and took his hand, placing it onto his chest.

"Breathe. Breathe with me." Damon urged and Stefan realised he was to copy him again.

He felt Damon's heartbeat, felt his skin beneath his fingers – the warmth of it and he nodded. He couldn't see anything but Damon's eyes. His eyes were so wide from worry and concern and so, so blue. He kept his eyes fixed on them as they breathed together slowly and deeply.

"That's it." Damon encouraged gently and Stefan exhaled in relief and love for him.

His angel, looking at him with that same love he had when he'd pulled him from the safe that day. He leaned towards him tiredly and rested his forehead against Damon's. Damon didn't retreat this time, instead holding his hand to his chest and squeezing. Damon still cared. He still cared. Stefan felt his chest fill with love and longing at that realisation and he couldn't help himself as he pressed his lips to Damon's softly, desperately asking him to allow it.

Damon pulled back in surprise and Stefan reached up and held his face.

"Please. Please Damon." He beseeched and Damon tried to move away. "Please, just kiss me please." Stefan croaked and something in his tone made Damon pause and search his face.

Stefan didn't know why Damon allowed it, but he halted in his retreat. Stefan took this lack of further action as being some kind of permission and leaned in the distance to hold his face again. Damon was holding his breath and Stefan stroked over one of his cheekbones as he pressed their mouths together again carefully. Damon's lips almost quivered in fear but they were soft and plump. Stefan pulled away again and looked into his eyes. Damon still didn't move a muscle, so he leaned in again and caressed Damon's lips this time, moving his lips over them until Damon opened his mouth a tiny amount to take a breath. Stefan gently pushed his tongue inside and sighed into it, wrapping his arms around Damon's tense frame. Damon was like a statue but he wasn't stopping it, so Stefan kissed him with all of the love and devotion he felt inside. He circled his tongue around Damon's and Damon responded but was still tense.

Stefan ran his hand up through his hair and tilted his head slightly as he deepened the kiss and Damon made a quiet sound of anxiety. Stefan stroked his back and gave some control over to him and found that Damon was kissing him back now. Stefan felt such elation, he was giddy and he moved them slightly, making Damon move backwards to the side so that Damon lay down on his back and held him by his waist. The kiss was so good, he could see Damon was getting lost in it as his eyes were closed peacefully.

He'd never imagined he could get this close to him, feel his skin, but Damon apparently slept with only boxer briefs on and so Stefan could slide his hand up his bare chest and revel in how soft his skin was. They began to pant in excitement and Stefan pulled his mouth away, desperate to taste Damon's skin. He moved his mouth down to his neck and kissed there and Damon made a groaning sound in the back of his throat. Stefan descended to his chest and took a nipple into his mouth, sucking at it, which made Damon moan and shiver underneath him.

This felt right, it felt so right. He hadn't been lying when he'd told Damon he didn't think about sex between them but it didn't hinder him now as he explored Damon's chest, sucking and biting and making Damon writhe. He moved his mouth down to follow the hairs that trailed down into Damon's boxers when Damon suddenly tensed and froze.

"Stop!" He shouted panicking and Stefan paused and looked up at him, his face flushed and wanting. "Get off of me Stefan."

"I…"

"Get off!" Damon said urgently as though he had just realised what had happened – what he'd permitted to happen and he pushed Stefan from him fiercely and blurred out of the room, leaving the door to batter back against the wall.


	9. Chapter 9

Ok guys, getting dark but trust me. I know you all do and it is heart warming. Thanks for all the love.

x

Chapter 9 TNB

Damon was livid. When Stefan tried to talk to him it ended up coming to blows until their throats were sore from screaming at each other. Stefan had been stunned when Damon had accused him of taking advantage and molesting him. Apparently Stefan was sick in the head, he'd come back wrong, he was not his brother anymore and hadn't been since he'd been taken by Silas.

Every word ripped his heart from his chest until he couldn't take it anymore and he'd packed his things and left. He had nowhere to go but he wouldn't spend another second in that house. He had never hated someone so much in his entire memory – which wasn't long to be fair but it was long enough. He never wanted to see Damon ever again and he intended to stick to that. He wouldn't turn it off this time, no he wanted the anger, he wanted to feel it fuel his veins. He didn't ever want to forget how Damon had made him feel. That way, he'd never make this mistake again, he'd never allow himself to be hurt like this again. His heart had been flayed raw.

He booked into a motel and drank himself unconscious. The next day he did pretty much the same thing, and the next day and the next day and the next day. Elena and Caroline both called and he was so angry, he couldn't be bothered lying about it. The effort it took to concoct some story was too much and he'd come clean and told them everything. Both of them were shocked and had tried not to be too horrified but he could hear it in their voices. They'd never understand. How could they understand when he didn't?

Elena offered to come home and help them sort it out but Stefan had refused point blank. There was nothing to sort. There was nothing between he and Damon any longer. They didn't have a past that he could remember. He didn't care about the 147 years they'd been brothers because they weren't his years – they weren't his life, they belonged to the Stefan who'd died – the one Damon grieved for and had wanted back. He wanted a clean break and this was the best way. He had grown fond of the girls now and he saw no reason to extract them from his new life but he made it clear to them both that he never wanted to even hear the name Damon Salvatore ever again.

Caroline was the most supportive and agreed that he would be better off in the long run. Elena on the other hand struggled with the idea. Despite all of the history and aggravation between her and Damon she couldn't help but fear that Stefan needed his family and Damon was the last of them. She was someone very much bonded to her family though. She needed that connection to her roots, especially now that she was a vampire and he understood why she felt concerned for him in his decision.

"Maybe one day, you will be able to talk about it." She'd advised but he didn't think so. Immortality meant for a long memory – he'd never forget how much Damon had injured him when he'd ranted at him in pure unadulterated loathing and disgust.

No. Never.

Then, Damon was missing.

Stefan had been drinking in his new favourite bar with a few new friends he'd made when Elena's call alert began to play. He pulled the phone from his pocket and answered, feeling merry and slightly inebriated.

"Hello!" He smiled and instantly he felt her tension crackle down the phone line like electricity.

"Stefan I need your help."

"What's wrong, are you ok?" He asked filled with concern.

"It's Damon." She said and he hardened immediately.

"I told you." He warned.

"Please Stefan, he's missing. He went to get some information out of one of my professors who we think is doing weird experiments on vampires." She explained and he smirked and took a swig from his bottle of beer.

Only in this girls' immediate circle could weird shit like that happen. He almost wanted to laugh. Had it not been for the fear so prominent in her voice he would have.

"And?"

"The professor did something to a vampire and he attacked Damon. He was feeding from him. I had to kill him before he killed Damon."

"Poor Damon. That'll be a nice change for him to be the damsel in distress." He did chuckle this time.

The thought of Damon being fed on and wounded filled him with immense pleasure.

"I had to leave him there to clean up while I dealt with the body. I left him with the professor still tied down. He was supposed to compel him to forget and come back to my dorm but he never came back. He's not answering his cell either."

"Maybe he's on a bender. You know how he gets Elena. The guy's a selfish douche."

"Stefan, I know how you feel about him but trust me, he wouldn't leave me to worry like this." She said pointedly.

"No. Not you." Stefan clucked his tongue while he considered that.

It had been obvious from the start that Damon still had feelings for the girl. He'd let her boss him around and no man put up with that unless they were either getting something out of it or weak with longing for them.

"Stefan, I'm worried something's happened to him. No one has seen the professor either. What if…what if the professor has him and he's…" Her voice broke as she thought on it and Stefan chewed his lip.

"What kind of experiments?" He asked, dropping his bottle in the trash and heading towards his car as she described how Jesse had began to hunger for vampire blood not human and he'd gone rabid as a result.

The thought of experimenting in animals bothered Stefan. He didn't like the thought of something sentient having their bodies used against their will in clinical trials for drugs, so the thought of it happening to a vampire made his stomach churn.

"Please I need your help to find him." She begged and he sighed and rubbed his eyes.

"I'm not doing this for _him_. I'm doing this because I don't agree with experimenting on an unwilling participant ok? If that is what's happening."

"Ok." She accepted and gave him the address to meet her.

They would start at the lab where she'd last seen Damon.

They searched the lab but found nothing suspect, other than a strange vagrant of an odour. Neither of them could identify it exactly and put it down to chemicals being used for sterilisation. They went to see if the professor was in his lecture theatre and also found nothing. They were at a loss. He spent the night with both girls as they told him all of the details of life at Whitmore – everything that they'd seen going on and he grew a little concerned. Something was very much up with this place and he didn't like it. It made his hairs stand on end.

Another day passed without much more to go on until Stefan was introduced to the Professor's ward. Elena had feared that Stefan wouldn't be able to remain focussed should he have known about the human, but Stefan played it cool and let her take the lead. He befriended the human and when she had gone off to a class that she had been told she would flunk unless she attended, he saw his opportunity.

He met up with the human and engaged him in the usual frivolous conversations that seemed enlightening to the college herd. This kid was different though, smarter and changed by a tragic family background that Stefan could associate with – not that he recalled his but it was the same difference he figured. He manipulated the boy into inviting him into one of the houses on campus, hoping to find clues as the kid's link to the professor, when he felt a stabbing sensation in his back and lurched forward onto the floor gasping.

He cried out and tried to look up to his captor when the vervain hit him and he collapsed.

His brain spinned in a murky stupor, his eyeballs rolling around in his head as though there was a roller derby happening in his head. He groaned and opened his eyes, trying to focus. Brick walls. No, stone. Stone walls. He blinked in confusion and sat up, feeling cold cement beneath him. Where the hell was he?

He let out a puff of air and looked around him. Iron bars. He was in some kind of cell. He looked around for his captor but saw no one. Just silence. Except there wasn't silence. Someone else was breathing down here. He shook his head, trying to clear his mind and noticed a small barred space in between the walls. The space seemed to open up into another neighbouring cell.

"Hello?" He called and moved towards the small gap, getting down onto his stomach to look through.

He could see bare feet and the legs attached to them but no face. He opened his mouth to speak again when he noticed blood on the feet and he paused.

"Hey. Are you ok in there?" He asked and heard a small huff.

"Be quiet or they'll hear you're awake." A voice whispered and he frowned.

"Where are we?" He whispered more carefully, looking around to ensure there was no movement outside of the cells.

"Hell." The whisper came back and he clutched at the small bars, testing their strength.

"Don't bother Stef."

He stopped at the mention of his name and tried to peer through to see his neighbour's face.

"Damon?"

"The one and only." The voice replied.

"What is this?" He asked and Damon finally moved into sight.

When Stefan took in the sight of him he gasped and Damon gave him a knowing look. He had blood all over his clothes and he looked weak.

"What happened to you?" Stefan asked, his eyes wide.

"Dr Mengele. What are you doing here?"

"I was looking for you." He replied and Damon snorted. "Yeah, kind of a surprise to me too." He hit back and Damon's face fell as he looked to the ground.

"Are you hurt?" Stefan enquired and Damon smirked.

"I'm an unwilling lab rat Stefan, what do you think?"

"How about you cut the crap and just answer the question?" Stefan sighed and Damon paled.

"I'll be ok." He answered quietly.

"We need to get out of here. Elena knows there's something going on with this professor guy. She'll find us." Stefan said confidently.

"Better hope it's soon coz there's no other way out of here."

"So you've been here a few days and you're an expert are you?" Stefan huffed, raising himself on his knees so that he could test all of the bars, one at a time.

"After a few years you get to accept it brother."

Stefan froze.

"Huh?" He lay back down on his stomach to look at him in query. "What are you talking about, years?"

"I've been here before." Damon said gravely and the hairs on Stefan's neck began to rise.

"When? What are you talking about?"

"In the fifties. Courtesy of Jo Salvatore. Asshole sold me over as a medical slave."

"What? How long were you here?" Stefan could feel his sense of urgency rise with every comment from Damon and he grabbed the bars that separated them.

"5 years." Came the reply and Stefan felt horrified.

"5 years?! Where was I?"

"Calm yourself. You haven't forgotten. I didn't tell you." Damon looked to him.

"Why the hell not?"

"Because I got free and we were still on the outs back then. What was the point? It would have just been another thing for you to feel guilty about and it wouldn't change anything." Damon was so matter of fact.

"Ok, I'll roll that one around my brain a bit later. How did you escape?" Stefan pushed and Damon shook his head. "Tell me. It's not like I'm going to think you're any worse of a person than I already do."

Damon looked him in the eye at that comment and clenched his jaw.

"You don't want to know."

"Just tell me, if there's a way we can escape…"

"There isn't."

"Well how did you do it?"

Damon sighed and brought his knees in towards his body. Stefan didn't miss the flash of pain that crossed his face and he held his breath.

"Damon, what did they do to you? What will they…" He swallowed feeling nauseous and Damon closed his eyes.

"Just pretend to be out of it when they come. It'll buy you some time."

His words only made Stefan feel more afraid and he tightened his grip on the bars. Damon moved a little closer to him when they both heard a gate being opened up at the top of some stairs. Stefan looked to Damon afraid and Damon adorned a mask of indifference and stood up fully, using the bars.

Stefan couldn't see him, only his feet as he curled into the foetal position and pretended to be unconscious.

"You have some company. Hopefully you'll get on as well as you did with your last cell mate, ay Damon?"

Damon just growled in response and took a step back from the bars.

"Feeling feisty?"

"Bite me." Damon gave a mirthless snort and Stefan cracked his eyelids open enough to see Damon's feet flex in anxiety as the cell door was opened and he was pulled forward.

Stefan held his breath, his heart racing as he heard Damon being pushed along the corridor and up the stairs. What was this place? He moved to sit up when he noticed some writing on the wall, behind where Damon had been sitting. He looked at it closely.

"D.S 53'." It read and Stefan felt his blood run cold.

Damon hadn't been lying. He'd been a prisoner here and he'd never told the old Stefan…him. He sat up and resolved himself to check around the brick work. There must be something he could dislodge or dig through to find a way out or at least a weapon. As he searched the bricks with his fingertips he heard a blood curdling scream from above that had him frozen to the spot. Everything seemed to be in slow motion as his whole body focussed on his hearing alone.

Another scream of agony. He knew it was Damon. His knees felt wobbly and he fell onto them as he gagged into his hands. Nothing came up but he still wretched anyway to no avail. He panted as he tried to pull himself together.

There was silence for a few moments and then the terrible symphony began as Damon's screams and cries echoed down through the basement continuously until Stefan lay with his hands over his ears, he couldn't bare it any longer.

_Mercy, please! My god, have some mercy on him!_


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10 TNB

Stefan lost track of how long Damon screamed for, but it felt the entirety of his life span as he trembled and held his ears. He wept unashamedly, partially from fear of what was going to be done to him and for what Damon was going through. He hated his brother but no one, no living creature deserved that kind of pain.

He was in the foetal position when the cage finally creaked up stairs and he held himself in terror. He could hear Damon being dragged along the floor and he closed his eyes tight. Damon's body was dropped to the ground with a thud and the cell locked again. Stefan's heart stopped as he listened to hear if they were coming for him now, but the person seemed simply to look in at him and then exit. He didn't move a muscle until the gate was locked upstairs again and silence fell.

He crawled over to the small window between them and called to Damon urgently. Damon was out and looked like he'd been through a war. Stefan gasped and reached through the bars to touch him, to reassure himself that Damon was alive. Damon's whole front shirt was blood soaked and Stefan was terrified to see underneath.

"Damon? Damon can you hear me?" He whispered urgently, pulling at Damon's arm to bring him closer.

He didn't have much strength but he managed to get a good enough grip on Damon's arm to drag him closer to the bars so Stefan could see his face properly. He reached out and touched his face gently. The soft touch seemed to rouse Damon and he exhaled a painful sound and opened his eyes slightly.

"Damon." Stefan said in encouragement and Damon tried to breathe out the pain he was in. "What did they do to you?"

"I'm ok." Damon croaked and Stefan shook his head.

"No, you're not." He said full of emotion and reached out for Damon's hand.

Damon gave it to him and Stefan squeezed it. Damon's eyes filled with tears which he swallowed down furiously and avoided eye contact with Stefan.

"I'm so sorry. They should've taken me instead. You're already hurt." Stefan felt ashamed and Damon closed his eyes. "I won't let them take you again ok? I promise." Stefan vowed and Damon let a tear slip out from the corner of his eye.

"I deserve this Stefan." He mumbled and Stefan squeezed his hand again.

"No you don't."

"Nobody hates me more than you do. You should be happy I'm here." Damon mumbled and Stefan exhaled in guilt.

"Even Adolf Hitler doesn't deserve to be cut up while still alive and screaming Damon."

"So I'm in his league am I?" Damon gave a weak smirk and Stefan shook his head annoyed.

"I don't hate you."

"Yeah you do, don't go all soft on me now just because I've been dissected." Damon chuckled and then tensed in pain as the movement sent pain rolling through him.

Stefan squeezed his hand through it and whispered comfortingly to him until he relaxed and swallowed convulsively.

"Ok yeah I do. Doesn't mean I can sit here and be happy that this is happening to you. I'm not a psychopath."

"Like me." Damon gave a brief smile.

"As if. Psychopaths don't have any empathy or feelings. As much as you try to convince people otherwise, you care." Stefan said and Damon grunted and closed his eyes again.

"I'll get us out of here. Somehow." Stefan vowed again and Damon fell into unconsciousness.

Stefan lay there, holding his hand for a while as he tried to think. He couldn't let Damon be taken away and experimented on again and he had to do everything he could to stop himself being taken too. The threat of that was so imminent that it made him tremble. How could they escape? Damon said he'd escaped once. He had to make him tell him how. Maybe there was a chance they could do it again.

Damon was out for a few hours, leaving Stefan unnervingly alone with his thoughts as he became more and more tense. He wished they were in the same cell together. It would be a small comfort, but it wasn't forthcoming. The gate creaked finally and Stefan began to breathe hard as footsteps descended the stairs. There were two sets of footsteps and Stefan stood up, ready.

"He's still out."

"We did quite a number on him earlier, maybe we should let him sleep it off?"

"No, if he's out just now it'll make it easier to open him up without him fighting us. Just lift him. I want to test how quickly lung re-growth forms."

Every word made Stefan feel even more terrified and full of adrenaline. He heard Damon's cell being unlocked again and he yelled.

"Hey, what about me? When do I get to meet the doctor?" Both men came around to his cell and looked in at him. He stood a step back, breathing hard.

"You're awake? How are you feeling?"

"Like a lab experiment." He snapped. "What are you doing to him?"

"Not your concern. Don't worry about him, he knows the rules down here." One of the men said and nodded to the other who moved back to resume opening Damon's cell again.

"Wait! Take me instead. I'm brand new. He's a bag of guts."

"You want to take his place do you?" The original man asked amazed and Stefan gulped, staring him out.

"This one is pretty beat up still." The man was in the other cell, moving Damon's shirt aside to inspect him.

Stefan felt violated at that.

"Get your hands off of him!" He growled and both men came to look at him again intrigued.

"What do you care, so long as it's not you lying there?"

"He's my brother." Stefan hissed and they looked at each other shocked.

"Really? That could work."

"Yeah. That'd be phase 4."

Both men conferred in code as Stefan watched helpless. He had a feeling of dread as he watched. He should have kept his mouth shut. Both men turned to him and smiled.

"Ok Mr Salvatore, you have a deal."

"A deal?"

"It's your turn today." One smiled and began to unlock his cell.

He took a step back in trepidation and tried to stay calm.

"After you." One of them gestured towards the stairs and Stefan clenched his fists and exited the cell.

As he passed Damon he glanced in and looked at him. He gasped in horror at the sight of Damon's chest. There were incisions all over it as though they had been removing pieces of his organs. He felt a push from behind that compelled him forward as he ascended the stairs.

The room above was a sterile, blindingly white medical room – like a surgical theatre and he halted in fear. There was an empty surgical table with straps for ankles and wrists and he was pushed towards it.

"What are you going to do to me?" He managed to croak when he felt the sharp sting of a needle in his arm.

He groaned and felt his limbs give way under him. The two men hooked under his arms and dragged him to the table, putting his ankles and wrists into the straps. It wasn't as though they were necessary however, as he felt so weak he could barely move. He was frightening aware however and scared.

"Please, what are you…" He croaked and a large oxygen mask was placed over his face.

He tried to move his head away but it was held firmly over his mouth until he faded and gave in.

When he awoke he felt as weak as a kitten. It took all of his energy just to open his eyes in response to Damon's voice. He grunted and opened them to see Damon's blue eyes searching his face. Damon was holding his hand tight and talking to him soothingly. He frowned, trying to understand what was happening.

"Damon?" He whispered groggily and Damon pulled on his hand, bringing him closer to the bar between them.

"Here, drink up brother." Damon said and pushed a small glass of blood towards him.

Stefan reached out for it and drank it in a gulp gratefully. Damon watched him drink and licked his lips in the process. Damon looked a little better but not by much.

"Are you ok?" Damon asked and he took note of his body for a second.

"I've been drained." He said and then frowned. "I feel strange though. Different."

Damon nodded and hung his head sighing.

"Are you ok? I saw what they did to you?" Stefan asked and Damon nodded.

"Why are they doing this?" Stefan croaked, lacing his fingers with Damon's for comfort.

"They're trying to figure out how we can be used to advance human medicines and also how we can be used against other vampires. All that's missing is a military uniform down here." Damon quipped and Stefan just gazed at him, unblinking.

"We have to get out of here." Stefan whispered and Damon nodded. "You escaped before, how did you do it?"

"You don't want to know Stef."

"Tell me."

"It won't work twice so there's no point."

"Just tell me." Stefan squeezed his fingers and Damon sighed and took a deep breath.

He told Stefan the story of Enzo and his betrayal while Stefan listened on, not interrupting as he absorbed it all. When Damon was finished, he hung his head in shame and averted his eyes.

"I told you, you wouldn't want to hear it."

"You do care." Stefan said and Damon looked to him in disbelief.

"That's what you got from my story? Were you listening?"

"You had no choice. You tried to help him and you couldn't." Stefan pointed out and Damon looked away.

"I guess it doesn't matter now does it? Fool them once…"

Stefan closed his eyes, feeling miserable and afraid and Damon lay his head down next to his. They'd run out of things to say right now so they just lay there together, side by side as much as the wall would allow and waited.

The next time someone came down the stairs for Damon he tried to fight, with every bit of strength he had as Stefan shouted and growled at them to leave him alone. Their shouts were pointless though and even though they knew that, they still had to. They couldn't just do nothing. Stefan fretted the entire time Damon was above, unsure of what was happening. It was quiet up there. That's should have made him feel better but in truth it actually frightened him more. What were they doing to him?

Finally the gate creaked again and Damon was dragged down the stairs. Stefan stood up and held his bars, trying to see him when they dragged Damon to the front of his cell. He stepped back in surprise and looked at his poor, bloodied brother hanging limply, head down.

"Would you like some company in there? Saying as you're family and all." One of the men said and Stefan couldn't believe his ears.

He stepped back further as they undid the lock and opened the door, dragging Damon in and dumping him at Stefan's feet. Stefan picked him up immediately and dragged him over to the corner of the cell while the two men smiled at each other and locked them in again.

"Damon?" He whispered and tilted Damon's head up.

Damon's eyes were open. Was he conscious?

"Damon?" He whispered again and stroked his cheek.

The gate clanged noisily upstairs and silence fell again. It was just the two of them now. Damon blinked slowly and Stefan frowned and held his face with both hands. Damon looked up at him and a glimmer of recognition shone across his features. He opened his mouth to speak when he tensed and his face cringed in pain. His face crumpled and Stefan held him comfortingly.

"What can I do? What's wrong?" Stefan asked hurriedly and Damon tried to speak again but couldn't.

Damon pulled on his shirt collar and Stefan stared horrified at an ugly scar running right across his throat.

"They cut your throat?" He asked in disbelief and Damon shook his head and pointed to his throat again.

"You're thorax? Voice box?" Stefan guessed and Damon nodded. "They cut out your voicebox?" He asked horrified and Damon nodded. "Fucking monsters!" Stefan shouted outraged, but the vibration seemed to cause Damon pain and he panted for breath as he calmed himself and held Damon in his arms protectively.

Damon closed his eyes and Stefan wept for him, leaning down to kiss his forehead. All of the strange atmosphere when it came to touching between them, had vanished down here. Touch was the only comfort they had and now that Damon was in here with him he would do his best to comfort him.

"I'm sorry." He whispered and rocked him slowly. "I'll get you some blood."

Damon shook his head slowly, defeated and Stefan stroked his hair back from his face. Damon lifted his hand and pointed his finger in at Stefan's chest and Stefan shook his head in confusion.

"What about me?" He asked and Damon rolled his eyes, making Stefan smile a little that even like this, Damon could display his annoyance.

Damon did a drinking motion and pointed at Stefan again.

"I'm not drinking it all when you're like this."

Damon nodded and Stefan shook his head.

"No, we're both going to survive this. You will have my portion and don't argue with me. You're not allowed to argue until you can talk again, that's the deal." Stefan teased and Damon gave a weak smile in response.

"In the meantime, you can have me." Stefan said and Damon frowned in confusion.

Stefan bit into his own wrist and offered it to him. He knew that it wouldn't help very much. Human blood had the life essence that animated them but he knew that at least it would bring some comfort to Damon and it may help with the pain a little. Damon opened his mouth begrudgingly and began to drink slowly. Stefan relaxed back into the wall and tried to think.

At the very least he didn't feel angry at Damon anymore. That was something. Who knew what it would mean for them if they got out of here.

Maybe there was something to hope for.


	11. Chapter 11

Ok darlings, it is Christmas so no chapter for a couple of days probably. Happy holidays and don't hate me yet;-) This one is rough for our Damon…

Chapter 11 TNB

A day passed and Damon was dragged for increasingly more horrible experimentations. It was as though they were doing it to punish him. Perhaps they were. He'd been the only person to escape this prison, so perhaps they were torturing him more viciously to prevent him from trying anything like that again. Stefan tried to fight them each time they came, but he was too weak. He'd been feeding Damon his blood too, trying to help him hold on. The pitiful amount of blood given to them daily, didn't make much of a difference to Damon's healing – especially when they were removing pieces of his organs.

This wasn't science. This was revenge mixed in and Stefan began to beg for them to cut him instead. Why always Damon? Why did they only take him and drain some blood? Damon never blamed him, in fact he barely spoke at all, the pain was so intense.

"Talk to me. I'm driving myself crazy with the sound of my own voice here." Stefan stroked Damon's forehead gently.

Damon swallowed.

"I don't want you to comfort me Stefan." He struggled.

They kept removing his vocal chords so he couldn't scream and today it had taken a lot if Stefan's blood to get his throat working again.

"Tough." Stefan said, holding him in his lap tighter and Damon gave a weak smile. "Not everything's about you."

Damon looked up at him.

"I need this too." Stefan added and Damon searched his eyes for a long moment before closing them again.

"I never thought I'd see you again." Damon mumbled and Stefan chewed his lip. "After…"

"I know. So did I." Stefan admitted.

They fell silent as Stefan wondered if Damon really wanted to have this conversation finally.

"I'm sorry I assumed…you wanted me too." Stefan said nervously and Damon exhaled.

Stefan waited for him to respond but he didn't.

"Isn't there something you want to add?" He prompted and Damon opened his eyes.

"No."

"No?" Stefan said in disbelief. "You don't think you over-reacted a little?"

Damon cringed in pain and tried to roll onto his side, off of Stefan's lap and Stefan let him as he looked at him incredulously.

"My baby brother tried to sleep with me, I don't think it was an over-reaction." He said and Stefan huffed.

He couldn't believe how thick-headed he was! Damon crawled a little distance away from him and turned his back as Stefan tried not to let anger over take his reasoning. He had to keep reminding himself that although he didn't think of Damon as a brother, Damon did still see him as the old Stefan. Damon's reaction was logical, as much as he hated to admit that.

"Why did you let me kiss you then?"

"Because you begged me." Was his response.

"I didn't beg you to lie down and let me touch you. You didn't stop me then." Stefan pointed out and Damon groaned.

"I didn't know you were going to do that. You told me you didn't have those kind of thoughts about me."

"I didn't know what I felt. If you'd given me a chance to explain that, you would have known."

"It wouldn't have changed anything Stefan. I can't give you what you want."

"And you know what that is I suppose? Like you know everything, everything about me. Well, newsflash Damon, I am not the same guy you remember. I never have been. I may be _your _brother but you're not _mine_. I don't remember that."

"It doesn't mean that I'm not Stefan." Damon looked back at him and Stefan held his stare until he averted his eyes.

"I just wanted to be close to you, that's all. I didn't have a plan. You were just the only person I felt connected to."

Silence fell between them.

"Why do you feel like that towards me?" Damon whispered, his body tightening.

"I don't know." Stefan sighed. "Perhaps something is wrong with me, like you said."

Damon turned back to look at him.

"No, I didn't mean that. I just…"

"I get it. I repel you." Stefan looked down at the ground.

"I just…don't understand how you could love me like that. I'm your brother, I'm a dude."

"Why does that matter?"

"It just does." Damon frowned.

"I don't have a preference for a gender all of a sudden if that's what you're thinking. I still find girls attractive, I just…don't feel anything for anyone. Everyone is blank." Stefan explained, wringing his hands together as he tried to put his feelings into words.

"Dissociative amnesia." Damon said.

"Huh?"

"That's what this is. I've been reading, trying to understand." Stefan sat up straighter and looked to him in interest. "There's nothing wrong with your brain, the memories are still in there, it's the trauma that has shut them out. Some people who experience it can have problems identifying with who they were. Personality changes can happen because of that."

"Is it permanent?"

"There's treatment – for humans anyway but mostly therapy to deal with the trauma and allow your brain to let you remember again." Damon watched for his response and Stefan stared back at him blankly.

"You want him back don't you?" Stefan said after a minute and Damon turned back to him fully, frowning. "You want me to talk to a shrink so you can have him back again and you can get on with your life and forget anything about _me_."

"Stefan, I…" Damon said sounding guilty and confused and Stefan clenched his jaw and fought tears as he nodded.

"I don't want it back, don't you understand? That guy, the things that happened to him…I don't want to remember that. He had nothing by the end. Nothing. His life was shattered."

"He didn't have nothing Stefan. I mean…you didn't have nothing. You had friends, you had me. You had…"

"You and my girlfriend were hooking up under my nose and as far as I can tell, I was on my way the hell out of there to escape you." Stefan said pointedly.

"What?" Damon frowned. "Do you remember?"

"It doesn't take a genius to guess what _he_ would have done. Me? I'd have stayed and dealt with it. I'd probably have used you as a punching bag for a while first, but that's me. That who _I _am."

Damon closed his eyes and shook his head defeated. There was no convincing Stefan that he was still the same person. He had clearly divided himself from his memory.

"If you could see me as someone who wasn't your brother…" Stefan paused as Damon looked at him nervously. "Could you feel something for me?"

The gate creaked and brought both of their hearts into their throats as they looked to each other in fear. Not Damon again, please!

They came to the cell and Damon actually began to shake. Stefan stood up and came to Damon's side protectively.

"Trouble in paradise? You two don't look as chummy as earlier?" The man said and Stefan clenched his jaw.

"It's my turn today. He can't take anymore without more blood!"

"No worries, there's a table for both of you today. No waiting." The man said and they looked to each other in fear.

The second man came forward and they both entered. Damon began to hyperventilate and Stefan reached for him.

"Come on, the quicker we do this, the faster you are both back here together. Come on."

They knew they couldn't fight. They were both marched up the stairs, Stefan helping Damon walk, only to be pulled apart and separated into different rooms.

"Please! He's had enough. Please!" Stefan shouted, but he was ignored and strapped to the metal table like usual.

Both men were in discussion once Damon was placed in his room. Stefan strained against the straps to hear what they were saying.

"…phase 4?"

"Tomorrow."

Phase 4. What the hell was phase 4? He remembered them mentioning it that first day he'd blabbed that they were siblings. He had no idea, but he knew that it wasn't going to be good. Damon had called the doctor 'Mengele'. How apt that had been. A name that instilled fear, unparalleled in the world.

Stefan tried not to think on some of the survivors of that camp in Auschwitz. He'd met a few through the years and their stories were more horrific than anything he'd ever seen or experienced in his vampire life – and that was saying a lot. Humans had an enormous capacity for evil, vampires were kittens in comparison sometimes.

The doctor didn't seem to do anything different this time. He drained more of his blood as Stefan groaned and struggled. Less blood to heal Damon. As always there was another blood bag attached to his I.V. He had tried to ask what was so different about it. Was the doctor simply draining his blood and then putting some back in again? That didn't make any sense. Then he thought on the notorious Dr Mengele and his experiments on twins and siblings. Perhaps this was Damon's blood being put back into him after Stefan's was removed? What would that prove?

He was utterly unable to walk when he was returned to his cell. They dropped him onto the floor and he lifted his head looking for Damon. Damon wasn't here. He hadn't heard him scream either. He hoped that they hadn't cut his vocal chords again. It looked so painful. He pushed himself to a seated position and breathed, grateful for the support the wall gave him and he waited.

He waited for what felt like an hour before he started to worry.

"Hey!" He shouted. "Where's is he?!"

His voice echoed throughout the basement. He wondered how big it really was. Were there others here, locked away like they were?

Finally, the gate creaked and he sat more upright. There was no dragging sound and Stefan perked up, hoping Damon could walk and therefore it meant that he may not be so badly hurt this time. He stood up in fear when he saw why Damon wasn't being dragged. He was being carried by them both. He gasped and they opened the door and threw him in.

Stefan went to him and shouted in horror when he saw his face. His eyes were bleeding and his vocal chords had yet again been cut. He dragged him into his lap and cooed at him. There was so much blood on his cheeks, Stefan knew it could mean only one thing. His eyes…his eyes had been…He couldn't even contemplate it.

"Damon?" He sniffled, biting his wrist and placing it to Damon's lips.

Damon drank, but the more he drank, the more pain he felt. Healing was just as painful as the event. If it was human blood, it would be over much quicker but Stefan only had his own to share and not much of it.

Damon's face crumpled and he covered his eyes with his hands as Stefan tried to get him to breathe. Damon let out a soundless sob.

"Elena please find us." Stefan said up to the ceiling. "Please, Elena."

Damon couldn't speak, he couldn't see and that loss struck him harder than any other pain they'd inflicted upon him. Stefan couldn't imagine it. Well, actually, he guessed he could. Being in that safe for so long, there was no light. He couldn't see even his owns hands as he'd pounded on the lid and his screams made no real sound in the water.

Everything Damon had said about not wanting to be comforted vanished immediately as Stefan enfolded him in his arms and held him, kissing his head and whispering comforting thoughts. Damon grabbed a fistful of Stefan's shirt in his hand that he wouldn't surrender and Stefan moved them over along the floor to the wall so he could lean against it.

Damon had never looked so small and scared. Stefan wept for him.

"You're eyes will heal. Your eyes will heal." Stefan cooed to him. "Just relax and let them grow again."

They stayed holding each other as Stefan rocked him for hours. Damon trembled violently and Stefan began to try to distract him.

"When I was in that safe, I couldn't see anything but the blackness." Stefan comforted and Damon tightened his hold on his shirt. "I used to try and visualise somewhere beautiful. Somewhere I felt safe."

Damon turned his head into Stefan's chest and pressed his face against his skin.

"There was this place that came to me quite a lot. It was near a waterfall. The sun was really bright and warm on my skin. It felt calming. Grass under my bare feet and a little sand between my toes. I would pretend I could stand up and look at the sky. I'd pretend I could do anything – any kind of movement that the safe wouldn't allow me. I could somersault, swim, run…"

Damon exhaled against his chest and Stefan leaned his head against his.

"Think of a place. Where do you feel safe?" Stefan urged and Damon shook his head. "There must be somewhere. Some place that you feel at home?"

"Home." Damon croaked and Stefan smiled that his voice had returned.

"We'll get back there and then I'll take you to find my waterfall. Deal?"

Damon nodded, his face still pressed into Stefan's chest.

"Maybe we can start over." Stefan whispered and Damon nodded again. "Can you try something for me?"

Stefan swallowed nervously and Damon squeezed his shirt hold in response.

"Can you just try and get to know _me_? I know I'm technically still the same guy you've always known but that guy…isn't me. I don't want his memories or baggage. I just want to be who I am now. I can't be your brother."

Damon let go of his shirt and tilted his face up at him, trying to open his eyes. Stefan held his breath in fear that he would see nothing inside those sockets, but he relaxed when he saw that Damon had no intention of opening them. He stroked Damon's cheek softly.

"Do you really mean that?" Damon croaked. "You don't want to be my brother?" There was pain in Damon's expression and Stefan didn't know whether it was a result of physical pain or emotional.

"I'm sorry." He answered and Damon seemed grieved.

"Even when I didn't have anything else, I still had you." Damon seemed to be speaking more to himself.

"Your brother seemed to blame you for a lot of things. He spoke of you in those journals as a monster, someone out to ruin his life."

"Yeah, he was a barrel of fun." Damon gave a weak smile. "For a long time that was true though and then Elena…I just, I've never been loved back. I just couldn't let her go. I knew how much it would hurt you…_him_…and I still did it anyway."

"I don't remember. My life began when you pulled me from that safe and took care of me."

Damon grunted and pressed his face back into Stefan's chest again and Stefan gave him a squeeze. Damon didn't speak for a while, falling asleep as he wound his arms around Stefan's middle and held him. Stefan smiled to himself at the embrace. He couldn't help but feel like maybe Damon would finally understand him now. He'd laid his cards on the table and he'd been realistic about what he could expect from Damon. Of course Damon couldn't love back someone he thought of as his brother. If he could just let go of Stefan Salvatore and get to know _him. _Maybe they could be friends. He wanted more than that, there was no doubt, but he'd never explore it if Damon didn't want to. That was the best scenario from this situation. Perhaps being here had done them both a favour of sorts. It had brought them together again.

The blood arrived and the man who brought it to them stood and observed the way they were holding each other as though he was touched by it. Stefan had no doubt that these men had no conscience however – not when it came to vampires. Vampires were just rodents who didn't have feelings. Still, the way the man was looking in, Stefan felt a slight ray of hope.

Keeping his voice low and calm, so as not to rouse Damon he spoke to him.

"Please. Don't hurt him anymore." His emotion was reflected in his tone and it took the man by surprise.

He sat down the small glasses of blood and left, seeming a little rattled and Stefan let out a sigh. He'd let Damon sleep a little while before he moved him. The pain had been so exhausting for him.

He lay his head back and listened to the gate creaking open upstairs as the man exited, when he heard a whisper.

"They're ready."


	12. Chapter 12

Merry Christmas guys. This is for those of you who are distressed and can't wait. Hiatus to follow.

Chapter 12 TNB

Damon accepted the blood gratefully without a fight this time and Stefan smiled relieved. His eyes had finally grown back through the night and he although they were still sensitive and bloodshot, Stefan felt comforted to see those blue spheres looking at him again.

He felt unable to offer any resistance today when telling Damon to drink all of the blood, had Damon attempted to argue, but he kept that fact secret from him. He'd given him a lot of blood to heal his eyes, much more blood than he should have and it was a lot of work to pretend he wasn't ailing really badly.

"You ok?" Damon asked, searching his face as Stefan wilted against the wall.

"I'm fine."

"That's my line." Damon smiled and Stefan did too.

"I'm just tired." He lied and Damon chewed his lip.

It was one thing for Stefan to hold him, Stefan's feelings were known, but for Damon to hold Stefan like that might incur more emotional attachment from him and Damon wasn't sure whether he should encourage it. He tried to keep a brotherly distance – not sure exactly what that was anymore, considering their circumstances. They'd been the only thing keeping each other going down here over this long week of captivity and torture. He had no doubt that if Stefan hadn't been here, he would have gone mad by now. He'd only lasted those 5 years because of Enzo too. This new experience here, added to by those 5 years of horror, would have been enough to throw him over the edge. Stefan had come to find him and had stopped that from happening.

Stefan's eyes drooped a little and Damon bit his lip considering his actions. Stefan did seem different. He wasn't entire unlike the old Stefan, he still had the same overwhelming compassion, but he spoke differently, he even had different facial expressions and mannerisms. If Damon was to be honest, he was more like him. Had Stefan picked up on Damon's habits like a ward? Perhaps not like a ward.

At times if he closed his eyes, it was as though it wasn't his brother. Perhaps Stefan was doubling his efforts to make him feel that way. That hurt a little. Stefan and he had had their problems but Stefan was his baby brother. He loved him. He missed him, truth be told and this new version of him grew less like the person he'd known by the day. There was a part of him that felt a little comforted because he just couldn't handle the incestuous applications of Stefan's current daydreams, but on the other hand he felt grief that the one other person on the planet that he felt connected too was disappearing into memory.

Did he want the old Stefan back? He did. Did he dislike this new version? No. You couldn't have it both ways though and he hadn't figured out how he was feeling yet. He couldn't deny that some of the things Stefan had said had rung true with him though. The longer they spent down here together, the more he felt as though Stefan was part of him. He didn't mind being physically closer than he'd ever been with another man because there was no assumption of desire or guilt, mistrust or blame. There was just comfort and love. Stefan's love for him was undeniable and right now, Damon needed that like a drug to drown out the fear and pain.

He looked over at him and Stefan sagged a little. How much blood had he given him? Probably a lot. He shouldn't have drank both glasses. He crawled over to him, startling him conscious again and opened his arms out to him, urging him to lean in and let Damon hold him in his lap like Stefan had been doing. Stefan's eyes widened in hope and Damon smiled.

Stefan leaned into his arms and Damon pulled him into his body, worried at how limp Stefan was. Stefan melted into him, putting his face to Damon's chest and throwing one arm around Damon's neck and Damon held him like a fragile piece of glass.

"Thank you." Stefan croaked, tearily and Damon kissed his head. "If you want me to talk to a therapist I could try. I'll be whoever you need me to be."

"Just be who you are." Damon soothed.

"If you need a brother, I'll try."

"You don't know how to though do you? You don't remember me."

"No. Maybe you can teach me."

"It's not something you can teach Stef and you don't really want that do you?" He paused and Stefan exhaled. "Besides, I was a terrible brother." Damon admitted. "I blamed you. I abandoned you. I took you for granted and stole your life while you lay at the bottom of that lake."

"Not me." Stefan reminded and Damon swallowed and nodded.

Silence.

"You sound like a douche." Stefan smiled and Damon let out a chuckle, while he shed a tear.

Silence.

"I want to understand why you feel like you do. I'm trying, but when I look at you I still see _him_. I probably always will." Damon admitted.

Stefan nodded and looked up at him.

"I know. I'm sure he would love you for it."

Damon gave a watery smile and Stefan began to sit up. Damon supported him, rubbing his back.

"I'm not such a bad guy to know, if you give me a chance. We could be friends." Stefan offered and Damon nodded and gave a half smile.

"I…need you Damon." Stefan paused. "You're the only thing that's real. Everything else is like a daydream. Sometimes I don't know if it is or not."

Damon exhaled as Stefan closed his eyes. It seemed as though a weight had been lifted from his weak form suddenly. Damon gave a small nod in response. He read about those kinds of feelings incurred by this kind of amnesia.

"Maybe we could start slow." Damon suggested and Stefan smiled.

"Baby steps." Stefan joked and Damon smiled too, feeling lighter than he had for months.

The atmosphere in their small cell seemed to lighten too. Stefan slept finally, with Damon at his side watching him. Stefan looked small and fragile. It roused a sense of protectiveness in Damon and he placed his arm over Stefan's waist as he studied his face. So like his brother and yet not. How could someone change so completely? If he got his memory back, would he still be different or would he just revert back? So many questions. The brain was such a wonder, especially a vampire brain.

Damon encompassed him with his limbs as they both slept, left alone for a whole day which was unusual. Damon knew better than to relax though. He knew they'd be coming back for them, so when they finally creaked that gate open, he sat up ready. They didn't know how much Stefan had been letting him drink from him. As far as they were aware Damon was surviving on just one glass of blood a day. Stefan's blood wasn't much help really, but it helped him have a human level of strength.

The two men came down the stairs and looked in at them silently. Damon pulled Stefan further into his side protectively and Stefan didn't rouse. There was something different about the way the men studied them as they opened the cell. The sound of the cell door opening woke Stefan and he sat up disorientated and looked towards them, waiting. They felt oddly calm as though they knew, whatever phase 4 was, was going to change everything.

The first man stepped forward and knelt down in front of them.

"Damon, how are they eyes?"

Damon spat at him in response and the man grinned.

"Would you like to be free Damon?" The man asked patiently as Stefan and Damon looked to each other suspiciously.

"With all of this hospitality?" Damon smirked sarcastically and the man smiled again.

"You just can't get the staff these days. Seriously though, we believe that you have contributed enough. Your presence is no longer necessary."

The man who Stefan had implored to the previous night, stood behind watching them both. He seemed tense. That was new. Normally he was as ambivalent as the other one when it came to dealing with them.

"What game are you playing?" Stefan asked and the man looked to him and clenched his jaw.

The man was nervous. Why would he be nervous when he was the mutilator? Stefan felt the hair on his body stand on end as the more talkative human turned to him.

"You on the other hand Stefan. We still need your assistance with a few things."

"Assistance!" Damon growled in outrage.

"Yes, Stefan you are very important to our work here and we need you for a couple more trials. Then you can leave and return home. What do you say? Are you willing to cooperate?"

"Go to hell!" Damon growled outraged.

"Damon leaves today." Stefan bargained and Damon shouted in disagreement. "Let him go now and you can do what you want with me."

"No!" Damon shouted in rage and lunged for the man, eliciting a swift shock from a taser aimed by the nervous man.

Stefan reached for Damon, leaning over him, as Damon jerked and gasped at the shock electricity running through his body. Damon foamed at the mouth a little and trembled, Stefan holding his face in his hands and talking to him calmly and soothingly until he stopped shaking.

Both humans watched their interplay closely.

"It's up to you Stefan." The talkative man offered calmly, too calmly and Stefan looked to him in torment.

"Yes." He said and Damon tried to grab his hands in disagreement. "Go home and live."

Damon only managed to make a choking sound in response and Stefan leaned down and placed a kiss on his forehead, which was closely scrutinised by the two humans. The nervous human took a step back subtly. Stefan looked to him imploringly and he could smell how much the human was perspiring with stress.

"I must admit I'm surprised to see that you seem to share some real affection for each other." Mr Confident and talkative said and Stefan gritted his teeth.

"We're not the soul-less monsters you seem to think! We feel, we hurt and we feel fear you bastard." Stefan felt repulsed by the man, by what little they understood despite having cut them up and tested on them for days on end.

"And love it seems." Mr confident commented.

He stood up calmly, looking down as Stefan stared up at him waiting.

"Nigel." Mr confident called on the nervous one and the nervous came forward again and handed him a needle.

Stefan looked at it in fear and trepidation.

Phase 4.

Damon lay beside him, still unable to unfreeze his limbs as he shook from the electricity.

"What are you doing?" Stefan asked, feeling his stomach roll. "What is that?"

"Incentive to help us release you Stefan. You see vampires are no better than rats. What's best way to kill rats? To poison them and let them run loose into the world to poison each other. If that poison spreads quickly enough, you get rid of a thousand, with only the effort of tackling one." Mr confident explained.

"What are you talking about?"

"A plague Stefan. A vampire plague. Every other vampire you bite, will become infected and they will infect others and so on. I need to test how much you can resist the urge to do so once I infect you."

Stefan's eyes widened in disbelief and he shook his head.

"Your brother and you seem to share a deep bond. If you can bite and infect him of all people, then there will be no restraint in doing so to any others." Mr confident explained and Stefan sucked in a breath as he tried to breathe.

Damon twitched next to him but still couldn't move.

"Now you're blood has been mutated in order to carry the virus for us, you're ready for phase 4. The attraction to vampire blood instead of human. Once you feed from him, you won't want anything else and we can send you off into the world to rid us of your kind forever."

"But you need us! Our blood heals!" Stefan argued and both men remained silent for a few seconds.

"We've been conducting experiments for almost a hundred years Stefan. We have what we need from you." Mr confident said and Stefan felt himself struggle for air.

"Please. Please don't do this." He struggled and looked to nervous one. "We are sentient, we're not all demons. You can't commit genocide!"

"This isn't genocide, it's a culling Stefan. Go on Stefan, give your brother the plague. Bite into his neck and drink until he can't resist. He'll die slowly of course, becoming rabid so he can infect a few others before his body fails - he's only a vampire but you, you will live as something more now that you're the carrier. You can be our soldier."

"You said you'd let him go free!" Stefan shouted, blanching as Mr Confident tapped the needle with intent.

"He will be free Stefan. You'll give him peace finally, unless you want us to keep him here and continue with our experimentation on his organs?"

"No! No!" Stefan screamed, pulling at his hair.

Damon exhaled and tried to move and suddenly there was smoke and loud crashing sounds all around them all. The ground felt like it was shaking and Stefan tried to duck as he was thrown backwards into the wall with some force. He coughed and spluttered, unable to see through the smoke.

"Damon?!" He shouted and reached out along the floor.

He found Damon's hand and he crawled towards him, blinking as his eyes ran with water from the stinging smoke. He pulled Damon to him and held him as Damon coughed violently and lay limply in his embrace. Another loud bang sounded and he could smell fire. He looked up, towards where the cell door was and he couldn't see the bars. Had someone set off a bomb down here? Were the bars still there? There were pieces of rubble all around Stefan's feet as he tried to collect his thoughts. The humans may have been seriously injured in the blast, as it had been sufficient enough to throw Stefan backwards into the wall.

Stefan got to his knees and lifted Damon, throwing him over his shoulder with the last of his strength as he stood, trying to make out anything in the gloom in front of him. He moved forward, stepping over rubble, tripping as he tried to move his limbs.

"Stefan?!" A woman's voice. "Stefan? Damon?!"

"Elena?!" He called, still blinded by smoke and then he saw movement.

It was Caroline, blurring down – her blonde hair shining and luminescent in the smoke. He coughed as he tried to call to her and she appeared , kicking the bars away from the front of the cell. So the bars were still there then.

He moved forward excitedly, adrenaline now fuelling his limbs and suddenly Caroline had taken Damon from him in a blur. He shouted in surprise and tried to reach for him as Caroline moved out into the hallway. No! He didn't want anyone to take Damon from him. He had to take care of him!

"Stefan?!" Elena was there now, pulling at him as he frantically stumbled forward to reach for Damon and Caroline disappeared up the stairs.

Elena pulled him frantically and he finally realised that they were being saved. Caroline was taking Damon to safety. It was all ok. They were going to be free again. He grabbed Elena's hand and they climbed free of the rubble.

Elena moved ahead of him, pulling at him as fire broke out around them, when he tripped and felt a sharp stabbing pain in his foot. He yelled and looked down. Then he saw it.

The needle, discarded by his foot, the human hand clenching it, still animated and he lifted his foot and jammed it down so hard he heard the bones break. Elena paused confused and pulled at him as he stamped on the hand until there was no more life left in it. He couldn't see the body attached to it for rubble, but he knew the fire would take care of the rest anyway.

Elena eventually threw him over her shoulder and he yelled as she blurred them out of the basement into the white surgical room.

He blinked and cried in fear at the sight of it again.

"Damon?" He cried and Damon groaned from the doorway, still being supported by Caroline.

Stefan smiled relieved and they all shuffled out of the room into the night air. Caroline's car was ready and waiting for them, with a human driver – a familiar human indeed. The little bastard who'd gotten him captured.

He growled when he saw him and Elena held tightly onto his arm.

"No, Stefan he helped us! He's a friend! Get in!"

Caroline was already loading Damon into the back of the car, so Stefan didn't argue and jumped in the back to hold him. Damon wilted and rested against him as Stefan wrapped his arms around him. Elena jumped in the front and Caroline sat back with them as she tried to talk to then calmly. She could see how much shock they were both in and the sight of the blood stains on Damon's clothing were adequate enough to portray just how much trouble they had been in down there.

Try as Stefan did, he couldn't focus on anything anyone was saying to him at all. All there was was Damon - his bloodied, tortured angel. All attempts to get him to respond failed and as they drove back to the boarding house, both girls stopped their attempts, instead talking to each other, worried about what to do next.

Stefan pulled Damon further into his body and Damon lay his head into Stefan's clavicle. Stefan kissed his crown and whispered words of love and assurance as he closed his eyes and ears to the mirage happening before him. This could all be a daydream, a fantasy if it weren't for the feeling of Damon in his arms. Damon was earthing him to reality as though he were a balloon on a string.

They reached the boarding house in record time as Stefan stared numbly at the back of Elena's headrest. Nothing felt real. It took a few attempts at pulling at him before Stefan realised that they'd stopped and Elena was trying to get him to uncoil his hold from Damon and get out of the car.

He blinked groggily and released Damon as Damon sat up stiff and tried to urge him on. He got out of the car and reached to Damon again but Damon patted his hand away gently. Elena came to Damon's side and helped him to walk as Stefan followed them into the house. He felt numb. Caroline was talking to him, supporting his lower back as they walked and entered the lounge.

She guided him to one of the sofas and sat him down, checking his face and handing him a blood bag. Damon sat beside him and began to drink from one too so Stefan did so. Elena arrived, teary eyed and loaded with blankets that she fussed around covering them both with as she cried and apologised.

It was like white noise, her words and Stefan couldn't follow. He frowned at her and she reached out and stroked his face. He flinched and she sighed grieved.

"It's ok, Stef." Damon croaked beside him and he looked to him.

Damon nodded in reassurance and Stefan relaxed a little.

"It's going to be ok." Damon said and Stefan wilted, tired beyond belief.

Damon reached his arm over, drawing Stefan into his body and Stefan melted against him and closed his eyes as Elena rearranged their blankets to cocoon them both. Stefan exhaled, listening to the rhythm of Damon's heartbeat becoming stronger and more regular.

They were free, they were together and everything was going to be fine.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13 TNB

They'd escaped. They were free. Or was it just a dream? Stefan couldn't quite make up his mind about it. His head was fuzzy and his foot throbbed where the needle had punctured him. Shit, the needle! He opened his eyes as he remembered and saw Damon's face. He blinked and looked at him. They'd fallen asleep on the sofa, holding each other surrounded by their friends and safety and now Damon's body heat encouraged him not to move. He had to. He had to check that he wasn't ill or dangerous to them. The humans had said that the needle contained a vampire plague and if that was true, it was now in his blood somewhere. He took note of his body. He didn't feel any different. Weird. He really had to check himself and make sure. He lay his head against Damon's chest for another few seconds, enjoying being this close to him. He slipped his arms around him and squeezed him slightly as Damon exhaled and squeezed him back.

_I love you angel._

Stefan finally managed to tear himself away, lifting his head. He was tempted to place a kiss on Damon's mouth as he slept but he didn't want to risk getting caught this time. He separated their bodies slowly, enjoying the frown on Damon's face as he lost his bed partner and covered him with more blankets to replace his body heat. He crept away to one of the bathrooms and sat down to check his foot. It looked normal. There was no pain or sign of a puncture mark. Vampire healing was amazing. Perhaps his body's ability to heal and re-grow, meant that the virus had been conquered? No other illness or virus's affected vampires, maybe this one was the same and they had miscalculated. He'd never stop being amazed at vampire regeneration.

Satisfied he was fine, he stood up again and checked his face in the mirror. He looked pale but otherwise exactly the same as he had before. Maybe it had just been a threat to scare them. Maybe they'd simply been playing with both of them, trying to get one to kill the other out of fear that he was infected with something dangerous. Who knew? Now that the laboratory had been partially blown up, they might never know. He left the bathroom, yawning and hungry and moved to the kitchen, jumping when he saw Elena sitting drinking coffee.

"Hey." She said smiling with concern.

"Hey." He replied and she pulled him into her arms.

"I'm so sorry it took me so long to find you. I thought I might be too late." Her voice was full of tears of guilt and he rubbed her back.

"You got there just in time." He consoled.

"Are you ok? Last night you frightened me. You were so different."

"I was on autopilot I guess." He explained and broke their embrace. "I just needed to sleep."

She nodded and reached around him to open the fridge. She pulled out a blood bag and he accepted it gratefully.

"What did they do to you, to Damon?" She asked, swallowing nervously and looking towards the lounge. "There's so much blood on his clothes." She became teary again and Stefan squeezed her shoulders soothingly.

She clearly still had feelings of love for Damon. It was written all over her face.

"He'll be ok. He had the roughest time of down there though. I don't know whether he'll want to talk about it or just forget."

"Did they hurt him?" She asked and searched his face.

"Yeah." Was all he said in response.

He didn't want her to know just how bad it had been and he was sure that Damon would feel the same way. She nodded and held herself.

"He'll be ok. He's strong Elena. Much stronger than me." He advised and she shook her head and exhaled as though he was missing something, which he usually was given his lack of memory of Damon before being his angel.

"He hides from his feelings." She said and Stefan chewed his lip. "He never talks about his fears. Even to me."

"He has me."

She smiled at that, pleased to see Stefan's feelings of hate gone now that he and Damon had suffered something traumatic together and survived.

"You two are good now?"

"Yeah I think so." He smiled.

"And, how you felt before…do you still feel that way?" She asked nervously and he wasn't sure how to answer.

"I do. I think he understands how I feel now." He explained and she chewed her lip. "I know you think this is gross but as far as I'm concerned he's not my family Elena. I can't conjure the kind of natural repulsion siblings feel towards each other romantically, because I don't know how. I can't help how I feel and he gets that now."

"Ok." She said, seeing that his resolve was the same and there was no point in arguing with him.

"Anyway, I better grab a shower." He gave her another shoulder squeeze and stepped around her to head to his room.

Elena sat down on the couch as he moved upstairs and watched Damon sleep for a while. She wanted to know what had happened down there. It would eat at her until she knew. Damon looked half dead and covered in blood when Caroline had pulled him from that basement. Had they done to them what they had done to Jesse? They both seemed kind of normal, but then so had Jesse until he had bitten Caroline. She'd have to keep a close watch on both of them. She'd never been so scared at the thought of losing them when Stefan had vanished too. It was a few days of furious searching and nervous breakdown before their human friend had admitted that he knew what had happened. She'd wanted to kill him, use him as leverage but that wasn't who she was and she kept having to remind herself of that. He'd come to help because the guilt of being involved in something so inhumane had eaten away at him. He didn't know much more than she did though and it had taken them days to figure out where the secret lab was.

They hadn't had much of a plan really. The only stipulation was that the life of the Professor had to be spared and Elena had agreed. Not only was he her friend's only family, he also had answers to their questions and she knew Damon would want a little revenge afterwards too. They had ensured that he was teaching a class when they had set out to the rescue. Caroline had suggested taking some small explosives in case they were attacked by vampire proof weapons. They'd all been so glad of that when they'd seen the place. It had been an old frat buildings decades ago, so it was huge and had thick stone walls. The building was like a fort and they couldn't enter without invitation. It had been there human friend who had bravely agreed to take the explosive through the lab, to the basement where Caroline could hear Stefan shouting through the walls. Their only chance was to hope that one of the doctors doing experiments was the owner of the building and that they could be fatally injured or killed preferably by an explosion.

Luck was on their side as they found they could enter amongst the rubble, frantically searching for Damon and Stefan's bodies. Explosives were no kinder to a vampire body than a human one and they both prayed that Stefan and Damon would still be intact. This had been the only way to go. Once Elena had heard Stefan's screams, she threw all attempts at making a plan that would spare lives, out of the window. Explosions were warranted and necessary.

Damon opened his eyes and looked around in fear and she stood up and went to him slowly. He was afraid for the briefest of moment until he realised he was home.

"Stefan?" He mumbled, looking around him and Elena cooed at him and knelt before him, taking his hand gently.

"You're not dreaming. You're both safe."

Damon visibly relaxed and exhaled.

"He's in the shower." She said and he nodded and closed his eyes. "Are you ok?"

"I'm fine." He lied, touching his chest for wounds and relieving in the absence of any pain. "How's Stefan?"

"He seems ok. He wouldn't tell me what happened, but he said they hurt you." She swallowed and he looked down at the floor, neither confirming nor denying. "Did they try and make you drink his blood?"

"What?" He frowned and then he realised that she was thinking on Jesse. "No. Nothing like that. They were just getting their revenge."

"Revenge?" She frowned now, leaning forward and he shuffled with unease and rubbed his eyes.

"This isn't the first time I've been held in that dungeon. I was a test subject in the fifties." He said and she gasped in horror and surprise.

"What?!"

"It was a long time ago but they hadn't lost their stereotypical barbarianism, not when it came to me."

"What did they do to you?" She asked as tears began to form and he shook his head. "Tell me, please. It can't be anything worse than what I have been imagining Damon. I never stopped looking for you. I thought Stefan could help me and then he disappeared too. I thought you could be dead or turned into some kind of monsters."

"I don't need them for that Elena. I do well enough on my own." He said softly and she threw herself against his chest as she sobbed and whispered words of love and apology.

He held her and stroked her back.

"I've been so terrible to you, blamed you for everything that happened to Stefan. I've been such a bitch." She sobbed and he pulled her down on top of him, cuddling her and kissing her hair.

"I'm no innocent and I know what I get myself into Elena."

Stefan heard her tears from his room and he paused to listen. His chest felt tight. They loved each other. Damon had held him and confessed feelings of brotherly love but no more than that and it wouldn't change. Stefan finally realised that now. This was something he was just going to have to accept if he wanted Damon in his life. He nodded to himself and moved to his mirror, staring at his reflection.

_Hello Stefan Salvatore. Guess I can't ever escape you can I? Not to him._

He didn't feel strong enough to face Damon right now so he moved around his room, picking a few things he wanted to take away with him to his new place as Elena composed herself down stairs and allowed Damon to leave her arms. Damon came up the stairs slowly as though he was still bone tired and paused at Stefan's door. Stefan tried to calm his heart and straighten his composure but Damon moved on to his own room instead of coming in. Damon must have heard his heart beat race and was giving him some time.

Damon closed his door over and leaned back against it exhaling. He never thought he'd see his room again. He eyed his bedclothes rumpled and moved over to touch them. Elena had been sleeping in his bed while they'd been held? He didn't know how to feel about that. He loved her still, he probably always would, but now wasn't exactly a great time for them to be starting things up again. Stefan still needed him, needed them both to be there for him. He removed his clothes in front of his mirror in the bathroom, his heart gripped with anxiety that his wounds would still be visible. You got used to taking healing for granted and now that he'd had a week of not being able to touch his chest from the gaping wounds and sliced skin, he kept forgetting that enough blood would fix him. He wasn't entirely relaxed until he'd stripped naked and touched his body delicately to check everywhere. He turned his shower on and stepped in, closing his eyes at the heat and pleasure of it. It felt good to be clean and free of blood. He couldn't switch his mind off though. He was still tense. It had felt too easy to escape like that. Those humans had come so close to jabbing a needle into Stefan. He shivered as he thought on how completely helpless they had both been, especially with him unable to move. He never wanted to feel like that again. He never wanted Stefan to see him like that again.

He wrapped a towel around his waist and wiped the steam from his mirror, staring at his face. He caught a sob in his throat as he struggled to brush his teeth. His eyes were still a tiny bit pink - not enough for Elena to have noticed or had any idea of what had happened to them, but enough of a reminder for him. He spat the toothpaste out and cleared the water as he composed himself. He took a few deep breaths and looked up at his face again, touching under his eyes to check them, to see them properly. He couldn't look too long as the memory of being completely blind and violated sprang into his mind's eye. He put his hand over his mouth again as he surrender a sob to the air.

He wasn't going to do this. So his eyes had been gauged out while he was conscious and screaming silently, big deal. He'd had worse, hadn't he? He panted a little and rubbed his face as he tried to push the memory back into his the furthest recesses of his brain, but it wasn't as easy as it used to be. Stefan's fear and pain had roused his own feelings down in that basement and he was finding it hard to store them away again. He gripped the sides of his sink and hung his head as he sobbed as quietly as he could, turning the taps on to conceal this fact from the others.

Stefan paused when he heard Damon sob. His heart thundered. Should he go to him? Every cell in his body burned too. Should he let Elena do that? She was his girlfriend or ex or whatever – maybe she should be the one to comfort him. Then again, she'd told him that Damon didn't talk about his fears. Stefan had been there, he knew what had happened to him so Damon wouldn't actually need to talk about it. Damon could just let his hair down without fear of explanation. Stefan sat his belongings down and left his room, heading towards Damon's room.

He stopped at the door, unsure whether he should knock first. They'd shared everything over the past few days and this door seemed like a huge road block to him now. Damon seemed to be quite a private person.

"I'm coming in." Stefan announced, not asking for permission as he moved into the room and closed the door behind him.

Damon didn't answer so Stefan took that as permission. Damon was leaning over his sink, half naked and Stefan stopped in surprise and concern. Damon was evidently fighting tears now as he was shaking at the effort. Stefan had no idea what he could say that would make any difference to the pain Damon must be feeling.

"I'm fine." Damon croaked, tearily and Stefan didn't hesitate as he moved to him and pulled him around to face him and envelope him in his arms.

Damon held him lightly, tense as he tried to be strong but Stefan had seen his other more vulnerable side now. Stefan stroked his hand through the hair at the back of Damon's head and Damon rested his face against Stefan's shoulder, accepting his comfort.

"They'll never hurt you again." Stefan whispered and kissed Damon's head as he had done countless times over the last week and Damon wilted.

They sank to the floor and Stefan held him over his lap as Damon pressed his face into Stefan's stomach. Stefan held him tight and stroked his head and back reassuringly. It didn't even occur to him that Damon was half naked and almost exposed in this position, all that mattered was giving him peace and safety.

Damon didn't lie there long, just long enough for him to pull himself together and realise that he had been weak. He sat up, blushing and Stefan said nothing. Simply allowing him to stand and move into his bedroom to dress as Stefan stared at the floor and felt the last of Damon's warmth disappear from his skin.

"Thanks Stefan." Damon whispered as he dressed and Stefan rose and leaned against the doorframe, waiting for him to finish dressing.

"You hungry?" Stefan asked and Damon nodded, still blushing and Stefan left the room and headed downstairs to retrieve a blood bag.

He grabbed his things as he passed his room and settled them at the foot of the stairs so he could get them before he left and retrieved a blood bag from the fridge. Elena had fallen asleep on the couch where Damon had been all night. She must have stayed up all night in case they needed her. He covered her with a blanket and left her to sleep. Damon came down the stairs and paused when he saw Stefan's bags on the floor.

"You going somewhere?"

"Yeah, I should get going now that you're safe. Got some people to compel to forget my absence." Stefan explained and handed him a blood bag.

Damon took the blood bag and frowned as he looked down at it, thinking.

"I disappeared and missed work." Stefan added, trying to lighten the suddenly uncomfortable atmosphere in the room.

"You have a job?" Damon frowned again and looked at him in amazement.

"Gotta pay the rent."

"What are you talking about? Come home."

Stefan shook his head.

"No, this is your place now. I need my own stuff, not the memoirs of an older incarnation. Besides I love my job. It's inspired by you actually. I repair vintage cars now and a few newer ones."

"You're a mechanic?"

"A specialist mechanic." Stefan teased. "Anyway, I better head home."

"Right now?" Damon swallowed and Stefan searched his face, trying to understand what Damon was feeling.

He knew Damon would fight his emotions, that he wouldn't want to talk about what had happened. His breakdown upstairs would probably be his only once. The proof of that fact came with how embarrassed he had been after detaching from Stefan's body. Stefan would only want to comfort him and it would be too difficult not to love him in the attempt. Damon didn't want his love. He wanted his brother and his brother was gone. He should let Elena deal with it and take whatever was left of his pride and go to his new home.

He pulled a jacket off of an old hook on the hallway and put it on casually and Damon stood still in disbelief.

"Wait, Stefan don't leave." Damon reached out to squeeze his shoulder. "I…maybe we should…"

It wasn't like Damon to be inarticulate and Stefan found himself smiling to break the tension.

"I won't disappear. I'm just going home. I'll call you and we can hangout."

"When will I see you?" Damon asked, still looking unsure and Stefan shrugged.

"I'll call you." Stefan had to protect his heart here too. "Hey." He said softly as Damon continued to seem distressed.

He enfolded him in his arms again reassuringly.

"If you need me just call ok? Elena obviously wants to talk things out with you – let her. It's long overdue." Stefan soothed and Damon seemed to relax a little and nod his head.

"Yeah. Later." Damon said tightly and pulled back giving a small smile that didn't look sincere at all.

Stefan swallowed and searched his face. He wanted nothing more than to stay and kiss away his tears. Kiss him and hold him until Damon felt safe and relaxed, but that wasn't his role here. That was Elena's. Damon smiled again and Stefan blushed slightly and exhaled.

"I have to go." He croaked and Damon finally realised why and relaxed a little.

It was easy for Damon to feel abandoned right now, but the expression on Stefan's face played out just how much Stefan longed to stay and they both knew why. Damon squeezed his shoulder and nodded and Stefan gave a small smile and turned to leave, picking up his bags. Damon walked him to the door silently and Stefan opened the door to leave.

"Hey." Damon touched his arm, turning him to face him again. "We have an appointment with a waterfall remember."

Stefan smiled in memory and nodded.

"I'll call you."


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14 TNB

Damon felt lonely. Strange. He hadn't felt lonely for a long time. It was unsettling. The boarding house seemed so large without anyone else here to keep him company and he found himself finding excuses not to spend too much time there. Elena stayed sometimes and although they had talked about maybe giving their relationship another go, they had agreed not to rush into anything too quickly. They were sleeping together again when she came to visit at weekends and check on Jeremy, but things didn't quite feel the same. Stefan's presence was noticed for a different reason now. The guilt was gone but still something bothered Damon. He couldn't quite figure it out.

Stefan texted back and forth over the days following their escape but he had been too busy to visit. After a week, Damon decided to go and pay him a visit instead. He wanted to see him so badly. This wasn't the way he wanted it to be. He wanted Stefan back at home, but which one? Stefan had made it clear he wasn't his brother, but that was still hard to believe and deal with. Could Damon learn to see him as a friend instead? He wasn't sure.

_It's time i seen your new pad._

Damon texted and jumped in his car, heading out towards the small village Stefan had given him the address for. It felt strange not knowing where Stefan lived or who his friends were. Even through the periods of time where they hated each other, Damon always kept an eye on him - mostly to torture him mind you.

He pulled up outside a rickety old garage and got out looking around. This had to be the place, there were antique cars all around in various states of repair. He gave out a laugh when he spotted the remains of the car he'd totalled when he had been proving that _he_ was the fun brother. Stefan must have collected it and was now trying to repair it or use it for parts. He walked around. looking at the rest of Stefan's work. Some of the cars looked really good. It was clear that Stefan really did have a knack for this. Strange he'd never shown any interest in this kind of hobby before, preferring instead to simply seek out and own classic cars. Another _new _things about this Stefan.

"Stefan?" He called and heard some equipment being moved around in the workshop.

Stefan appeared covered in grease, rubbing his hands on his jeans and smiling at Damon's appearance.

"Hey!" Stefan seemed surprised to see him, "What are you doing here?"

"I came to check out your batchelor pad. I texted you." Damon moved forward and pulled him into a hug that Stefan returned lightly.

"Ah, i keep forgetting to carry it around."

"Seriously?" Damon chuckled, amazed that he wasn't surgically attached to his cell like everyone else these days.

"Yeah, it's annoying. I don't like people being able to get in touch with me whenever _they_ want."

"As opposed to when you want to hear from them?"

"Exactly." Stefan smiled, before adding, "Except when it's you."

He squeezed Damon's shoulder fondly.

"I'm pretty much done here for the day, you fancy a beer?"

"No, i want to grab some Bourbon Stef - Bourbon." Damon teased, drawing out the word as if to teach a young child how to pronounce it and Stefan shook his head and beckoned him to follow.

Stefan lived above the garage it seemed. It was small inside but not without personality. Gone were all of Stefan's usual decorations or comforts. There were no books or antiques here. Stefan did have models lying around littering tables however - planes, trains and automobiles. Damon smiled to himself as he moved to touch a few of them.

"So you building things then?" He asked as Stefan washed up and changed his clothes in the other room.

"Yeah i love the challenge. Don't you have any hobbies?"

"I'm particularly gifted in the art of deconstructing the contents of the finest Bourbons known to humanity."

"I bet!" Stefan laughed heartily and Damon sat down, taking in the rest of the room.

He didn't recognise much here. Stefan had taken some clothes from the boarding house but not much else. How could someone's basic likes and nature change so much and so dramatically? Was it just because Stefan had been given a fresh page to start on? Damon began to wonder what his life would be like if he were to lose his memory. There was certainly a lot of things that he wished he could forget.

"You ok?" Stefan's voice interrupted his thoughts and he blinked and smiled. "How's things going at castle Salvatore?"

Damon chuckled and Stefan moved to the kitchen recess at the end of the lounge and grabbed two glasses and a bottle of Bourbon. He dangled the bottle in the air to demonstrate that he had one and Damon raised his eyebrows impressed. It was the same bottle that they drank whenever they had deep conversations and they both knew it.

"How did you know i was coming?" Damon asked as Stefan handed him a glass and took a seat across from him.

"I always keep one for you. I figured you'd come and see for yourself eventually."

"See what?"

"That i'm not your brother." Stefan said casually as he took a sip.

Damon watched him for a few seconds before he looked down into his glass and swirled the liquid around. Stefan swallowed his mouthful and felt a little guilty. Damon looked lost.

"Sorry." Stefan said and Damon gave him a weak smile. "You miss him a lot huh?"

"Never thought i'd hear myself say it."

"He was your brother. You loved him. I'm sorry that it hurts you to see me."

Damon looked to him and chewed his lip.

"Are you ok?" Stefan sat forward and Damon smirked and took a drink.

"I'm fine. Just a little bored. You know, not much drama without my brother getting on my nerves and Elena at college."

"No new life or death daily situations then?" Stefan joked.

"Not this week, but i've started my countdown." Damon joked back and sat back relaxed.

"Why do you do it? Why do you live like that?" Stefan frowned.

"It's just life Stef."

"It doesn't have to be. Why not start over like me? Leave Mystic Falls."

"I can't." Damon said, surprised by Stefan's emotion and Stefan shook his head.

"Because of Elena?"

"It's my home. It was our home."

"How can you move on when you're constantly under threat of danger? When you're surrounded by ghosts?" Stefan pushed and Damon sat back gobsmacked at how much Stefan had clearly been thinking about this.

"Sorry." Stefan sat back and sighed. "I just worry about you."

"I can live with that." Damon smiled. "At least some things never change."

Stefan sighed and took another drink from his glass.

"I'm so glad i can just be myself here and not have to worry about baggage. Let's not talk about Mystic Falls or Elena huh? Let's go out, get drunk and make new memories."

"I'm game." Damon smiled.

"Good coz i have a gig tonight that i can't get out of. Gotta head down to the bar in an hour to set up."

"A gig?" Damon almost choked and Stefan laughed.

"Yeah, i've been playing around with some drums i acquired. I'm not bad."

"You're playing drums? I always figured you'd play guitar if you'd ever tried."

Stefan gave him a knowing smile and downed the rest of the amber liquid.

"Get your coat and i'll show you."

They walked after much grumbling from Damon about it and Stefan chatted to him excitedly about his social life and friends. Stefan had a lot of friends and also a girlfriend too. Damon almost fell over when Stefan told him that. Stefan minus the crippling magnetic pull to Elena and the supernatural crap that followed her shadow, equalled a happy Stefan. The more Damon listened, the more he longed for the simplicity of Stefan's new life. Losing his memory seemed to have been the making of him.

They got to his local bar where he was greeted by all of Stefan's new friends. Some human, some vampires. It was refreshing to have people immediately accept him without suspicion. Damon actually relaxed.

"So you are Damon? Stefan talks about you all of the time." Stefan's new girlfriend Leyla said as they sat waiting for the sound check to finish.

"It's all lies." Damon smirked and she laughed. "How'd you meet?"

"He fixed one of my dads cars. He's a genuis." She beamed and he nodded in agreement.

"Are you staying tonight? Back at Stefan's?" She asked and he paused, caught off guard.

"Uh…"

"Too right he is. I'm stealing him away from the town of misery." Stefan appeared, squeezing Damon's shoulders from behind and laughing.

Damon turned to look at him and grinned. A look of love flashed across Stefan's expression, that he quickly recovered from as Damon noticed it. He went to Leyla, kissing her chastely as he returned to the stage and approached the microphone. Damon watched, admittedly taken aback at how much love was still evident in Stefan's expression. Damon had thought with a girlfriend and a real life now, his feelings would fade, but they were still there.

Everyone fell silent as Stefan announced the band and then stepped into his place behind the drums. The music was good, really good in fact and Damon found himself tapping along to Stefan's beat. How the hell had Stefan learned to play the drums so quickly? He'd never shown any interest before. So different…

This girl was nothing like what Stefan usually went for either. She was attractive and petit but blonde. Stefan usually preferred brunettes. She was older too - 24. Damon wondered what age she thought Stefan was considering that he usually passed for being a high school senior. Leyla was into music, astronomy and was studying to be a naturopath. She was interesting and charming and completely smitten over Stefan. It was so clear, as she gazed at Stefan on stage as he played and sang. Stefan had a gift. The lights shone down on his face and highlighted his cheekbones and Damon found himself hypnotised by the atmosphere. This was what normal living was supposed to be. This is what Stefan wanted instead of the constant strain of protecting the world and suffering for the past. What was wrong with that? Nothing and the more Damon thought on it, the more attractive the idea became now that he saw it in context.

Stefan exited the stage to thunderous applause and moved through the crowd like a cat, looking to Damon as Damon clapped and smiled at him. Their eyes didn't part until he was back at the table and Leyla embraced him.

"What did you think?" Stefan asked once they were seated again.

"Who knew you could actually play drums!" Damon laughed.

"It's new then?" Leyla asked genuinely surprised and Damon nodded. "It's so bizarre that you can't remember. Maybe you always had the ability but never gave it a chance." She commented and Stefan nodded.

"There's a lot of things that i hadn't tried until i woke up again." Stefan said and Damon knew the comment was directed towards him.

They enjoyed the rest of the night drinking and laughing. Stefan's friends were all in their twenties so their chat was good. He could get used to them, especially as they all adopted him as Stefan's best friend. How bizarre to be known as that and not his brother. It changed the dynamic. Drink flowed and they all got drunk, until Leyla slurred that she had work in the morning. Everyone echoed the sentiment and Stefan took her out to one of their cars for a ride home, taking her car keys from her in the process. Damon sat comfortable and relaxed, waiting Stefan to come back. It had been a great night. An eye opener. When Stefan returned to the table, everyone else had gone and it was just the two of them. He exhaled and sat down across from Damon and smiled triumphantly. It warmed him to see Damon so relaxed and happy. He looked younger and healthier from lack of stress.

"I wish you'd come and stay for a while. It would do you good to have some respite." Stefan said and Damon smirked.

"Is that an invitation?"

"Do you need one?" Stefan teased.

"Maybe. Not much room at your place. Is that all you can afford?"

"There's plenty of room and i like it."

"If you need some cash, there's tons at home. You should have a share…" Damon began to suggest and Stefan shook his head firmly.

"I'll make my own way."

Damon sighed a little frustrated and Stefan felt guilty.

"If i need it, i know where to ask. Thanks." Stefan smiled hoping to return Damon to his good mood. "We should head back."

"You working tomorrow?"

"Not if you stay a while. I can shut the place." Stefan offered and Damon chewed his lip.

"Deal." Damon smiled and they rose to leave.

Damon grumbled on the walk back again and Stefan draped his arm around his shoulder and teased him. The walk seemed much briefer this time, with Stefan's body heat against his. Stefan gave him the tour of his apartment, as small as it was and offered Damon his bed.

"Couch is good enough for me Stef." Damon refused and Stefan folded his arms and laughed.

"Damon you seem like the kind of guy who is used to a bit of luxury and my couch aint it."

"I'm not putting you out of your own bed."

"Alright, alright." Stefan acquiesced and left him to get some blankets.

Damon lay down on the couch leisurely and played back the days events in his mind. He was so glad he'd come here. Stefan was happy. Perhaps being a part of his life like this would make him happy by proxy. It was a nice thought. He closed his eyes and began to doze. Stefan came back into the lounge and stopped when he seen Damon sleeping. He couldn't believe his luck. Damon was really here, he'd come to see him. Perhaps he missed him as well as the person who'd been his brother. Whatever the reason, Damon seemed happy tonight. He'd nevrer really seen him happy. It suited him. If only he could keep him here.

He approached him slowly so as not to wake him and covered him in a blanket, tucking him in. Damon's eyelids were flickering so he knew he was dreaming by now. He leant down and cupped his cheek, running thumb softly over Damon's bottom lip. The alcohol must be making him braver than usual as he normally wouldn't dare to have shown such affection. There was no excuses this time, now that they were out of danger and out of that laboratory. Stefan had accepted the fact that Damon would never hold like he had when they'd feared for their lives and sanity. He exhaled sadly and leaned down to place a soft kiss on Damon's forehead. He pulled back slowly and Damon opened his eyes, startling him. He blushed, feeling guilty at being caught and he moved to withdraw his hand from his cheek. Damon caught his hand and held it there as they stared at each other.

Stefan's throat dried up and he didn't know what to say or do. What was Damon thinking?

"I...thought you…" Stefan croaked, trying to string a sentence together but Damon didn't push him away or protest.

"My brother's really gone." Damon mumbled, not breaking eye contact, almost as though he was searching in Stefan's eyes for the lost soul of Stefan Salvatore.

"Let him go." Stefan whispered and cupped Damon's other cheek as tears filled Damon's eyes.

Damon nodded and reached up to pull Stefan down. Damon tilted his head and placed a soft, loving kiss on Stefan's mouth and Stefan froze, scared to move and break the spell. It was just a small kiss, not passionate or hungry but it was loving and it made Stefan's heart pound. He wanted more.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15 TNB

Stefan broke the kiss, unsure if Damon knee what he was doing here. They'd drank a lot of Bourbon. Damon seemed surprised by his action.

"Kiss me." He repeated confused.

"Why?" Stefan replied in shock and sat down on his knees so that their faces were level.

"I want to see." Damon said simply and Stefan frowned in confusion.

"See what?"

"If it feels wrong."

"You've kissed me before, a couple of times." Stefan pointed out and Damon swallowed, but seemed to be very calm.

"That was different. You were still my brother then." Damon explained and Stefan realised that finally Damon was seeing him for who he was and not the ghost of his brother.

He smiled in amazement, before remembering Damon's request. His stomach clenched suddenly and he felt horrifically nervous. If he was going to kiss him, he had to make it great, mind blowing. This might be his only chance to do this because Damon may feel different right now, but he was still effectively kissing his brother physically. He sucked in a breath and tried to calm himself. Why was Damon so calm? Maybe the booze was the culprit. The booze…

Stefan frowned in thought. This could just be the alcohol talking.

"How much did you drink tonight?" He asked and Damon exhaled.

"Not enough." Was Damon's reply and Stefan couldn't help but smile again.

Stefan moved his hand around the back of Damon's head tentatively and Damon closed his eyes. This had to be mind blowing, this had to convince Damon to give this a try! He brought their mouths together softly and began to kiss Damon's plump lips with every ounce of love and devotion he felt inside. Damon moved his lips against his and brought an arm up to stroke Stefan's back and Stefan relaxed into him and opened his lips to deepen the kiss. Damon opened his too and their tongues met. Stefan felt a jolt of excitement pass through him at Damon's willingness and he pulled him into him with his arms around Damon's back. Damon inhaled at the movement and tilted his head further upwards to stay attached to Stefan's mouth. Stefan let out an involuntary hum of pleasure as their tongues danced around each other. Damon's mouth was a wonder – his lips so full and soft that Stefan wanted to bite the bottom one and taste it. He wanted to taste all of him. He could feel the urge to climb on top of him and do just that but he didn't want to rush things. The last time he had had Damon in this position Damon had panicked and they'd screamed at each other until Stefan had left and sought refuge in this small village 1 hour from Mystic Falls.

Stefan licked Damon's bottom lip and sucked on it for a second before doing the same with the top lip and Damon splayed his hands over Stefan's back, tightening his hold on him as he enjoyed it. Damon took in a breath as Stefan moved to insert his tongue into his mouth again and the sound that that action made was so sensual that Stefan felt his manhood become hard in his jeans. He quickened the kisses, and Damon made the sound again. God he wanted him. He'd never been sure how far he'd want to go with Damon but right now he had no doubt that he wanted him. He wanted to kiss every piece of skin on his body and suck him. He'd sell his soul for that.

He slid one hand down from Damon's shoulder blade and stroked down to his waist, resting there for a minute as their kisses continued. He moved the hand a little lower and Damon didn't seem to mind. Maybe it would be ok to touch him a little more. Stefan slid his hand over to Damon's crotch and gently stroked there, making Damon moan into his mouth and grow hard under his fingertips. Damon was aroused. He wanted it too! Stefan undid his button and fly and slid his hand inside Damon's jeans, feeling the swollen flesh there hot and demanding. He took a hold and began to stroke him leisurely and Damon sucked in a breath again and flexed into his hand.

Stefan stroked him until he couldn't wait any longer and he pulled his mouth across Damon's cheek, kissing into his neck as Damon gyrated and breathed heavily. Damon's body was sublime in every detail and Stefan wanted to map it out in his memory as he kissed his neck and bit into his collarbone lightly. He pumped with his hand, quicker this time and Damon moaned. Stefan wanted to taste him. He moved quickly down to his groin and removed his hand, opening his mouth and sucking the head of his erection and Damon gasped. Stefan had never done this to his memory, but his body seemed to know what to do. Leyla was quite skilled in the sack and he'd watched her do this to him. Strange how little guilt he felt over cheating on her, but this was his angel. For his angel he'd do anything.

Damon's seed tasted salty and he found he didn't mind it. He began to lick around the shaft, placing kisses on it as Damon gyrated and panted. Taking it all into his throat proved difficult because of Damon's size but he gave it his best effort and Damon cried out every time he almost swallowed it all. Stefan could feel Damon's testicles tightening so he was close to climax and he sped up his sucking. Damon moaned and grunted.

"Stef…" Damon whispered breathlessly. "Stop…"

Stefan was focussed on giving him the best climax he'd ever had so he didn't hear Damon's words.

"Stop, Stefan…" Damon gasped. "Stop…"

Stefan hollowed his cheeks and Damon gasped loudly.

"Please stop. Stefan stop!" Damon shouted now and Stefan stopped in surprise.

He released him from his mouth and sat up looking at him in query and concern. Damon had his face in his hands.

"What's wrong?" Stefan's throat felt raw from his efforts.

"I can't." Damon groaned, sounding distressed and Stefan felt his heart stop.

Stefan sat frozen on the floor, waiting for Damon to explain. A whole minute seemed to pass in silence before Damon finally dropped his hands from his face and looked at him. Stefan must have looked heartbroken because Damon immediately grimaced.

"I'm sorry." Damon whispered. "I'm not ready for this."

Stefan didn't know what to say so he stared at him numbly.

"I want to be able to forget." Damon added as he slowly tucked his erection back into his jeans and Stefan swallowed painfully and nodded. "Stef." Damon whispered beseechingly and Stefan looked down at the ground.

"It's ok."

"I just, I need to go slow." Damon said and Stefan frowned and looked to him.

"Huh?"

"I can't do the sex stuff yet. It's too…I can't get my head around…"

"Yet?" Stefan repeated in surprise and Damon paused. "You want to try?"

"I…I don't know what I feel." Damon sighed and rubbed his eyes tiredly.

"Do you like me?" Stefan asked, holding his breath.

"I don't know how to explain it. You look like my brother, you are technically still him, but you're not at the same time. I feel like you're mine." Damon said and Stefan let his mouth fall open a little as he listed, his heart pounding loudly.

"You're connected to me, part of me but you're…not. I want you to be with me, at home but you're not my brother anymore. Stefan…" Damon frowned in agitation and confusion and Stefan pulled him into an embrace and rubbed his back.

"It's ok. I think I understand. You feel like mine too. Maybe it's just because we are connected by blood even though we don't feel like that anymore." Stefan consoled and Damon huffed and pulled back from him.

"This is fucked up." Damon sighed.

"You got the short straw. I don't have to fight what I'm feeling, but you do." Stefan gave him an understanding smile.

"What if your memories come back?" Damon said.

"I don't know." Stefan shrugged honestly. "I can't imagine what that would be like. All I'm positive on is how I feel about you and I can't imagine that ever changing."

"If you remembered me as your brother, you wouldn't feel like this anymore Stefan."

"Possibly." Stefan agreed and they both deflated a little. "I can't live my life worrying about if that will happen though. I know what I want right now."

"Stefan…" Damon groaned and put his face in his hands again.

"Damon. I want you. With the way you live your life, you could be killed any day, but you're here right now with me." Stefan took one of his hands and Damon grunted.

"Maybe I will get my memories back and I won't love you like this anymore, or maybe it will just take me some time to adjust. I might never get them back. I don't want them back if it'll mean I can't have this. We will never know unless we try." Stefan brought their mouths together again and began to kiss him gently.

Damon was tense but he kissed him back like before. Stefan only kissed him for a few minutes before he broke off and kissed his cheek and into his neck.

"Please, just try." He whispered against Damon's ear and Damon shivered. "If it goes weird we'll deal with it together." Stefan intertwined their fingers in his hand as he brought the other up to cup Damon's cheek again. "Together."

Damon closed his eyes and let their foreheads rest together.

"Ok." Damon whispered back and Stefan exhaled in emotion and pulled Damon to his feet.

Damon looked at him in query and Stefan pulled him towards the bedroom. Damon tensed a little and looked unsure.

"We both need to get some proper sleep. You'll have a horrible night on that couch." Stefan explained and Damon chewed his lip. "Baby steps." Stefan smiled, assuring him that there would be no more touching tonight and Damon followed him into the room.

Stefan slept in his clothes normally so he simply kicked his jeans off and climbed into the bed as Damon fidgeted nervously, unbuttoning his shirt. Stefan yawned and watched him, feeling bad when he saw Damon's hands shaking. This was so difficult for him. Stefan had only ever hoped to believe that Damon could feel something for him, he'd never thought he might really have a shot at being able to make love to him. Damon was turned on by him, that was a good start but sex was still way too much for his brain to handle right now. At least he'd agreed to try it at a slow pace. Stefan smiled to himself and turned on his side away from him to make Damon feel less nervous.

He'd remembered that Damon slept in only his boxer briefs, so he would feel a little exposed in this situation.

"Do you want a t-shirt to sleep in?" Stefan asked sleepily and Damon didn't respond.

Damon pulled the covers aside and slid in beside him, gloriously half nude. Stefan could feel the heat and smell of his skin. Damon was turned towards his back so Stefan could feel his breath blowing onto his back.

"I shouldn't be here, tempting you like this." He whispered and Stefan turned around to face him. "I'm your brother, I haven't lost my memory. I should be protecting you, not kissing you."

Damon was so tortured.

"You're not my brother and all you've ever done is protect me."

"You'll blame me if you ever remember again. You'll feel violated."

"You can't force what I'm desperate to offer you. I've no doubt in my mind at all that I want you."

"Right now." Damon sighed.

"Let's make a deal ok? If I get my memory back and it all goes to shit, we separate and go our own way for 10 years. After that, we meet and see if we can be brothers."

"10 years is nothing to a vampire Stef."

"50 then? I read in those journals that you two met up after 50 years and you forgave each other until _he _went all Ripper on you."

Damon exhaled through his nose and thought on it.

"50 years." Stefan prompted and Damon nodded.

"What about Elena, Caroline…"

"What about them?"

"They're your friends and they'll be…"

"So what? Let them be grossed out and disagree. I live my life the way that I want to." Stefan said confidently and Damon searched his face.

"You sound like me."

"Good. Then maybe you can believe how serious I am about you. I don't remember being alive for over a hundred years. I know I can heal from just about anything, but I can't help but feel like I have as much time to live my life as any of the humans around here. I don't want to waste a single day regretting stuff or moping around."

Damon smiled at his words and Stefan gave a chuckle.

"Maybe we should erase my memory too and I can join you on this wild ride." Damon joked and Stefan smiled.

"I can take you with me. If you'll let me."

"Maybe I will."

"First thing tomorrow we find my waterfall." Stefan said and Damon nodded. "Then we make out next to it."

"You sound like a horny teenager."

"I guess I kind of am." Stefan pondered.

Having no memory was like being a child again, having to re-learn or learn things for the first time. Even sex had been interesting the first few times until his body remembered what to do. Leyla had been so patient. He'd have to end it with her now and that would be hard.

"What about Leyla?" Damon asked and Stefan sighed.

"I'll compel her to think it was her idea to break up. Easier that way and she won't be hurt."

"You're going to compel her?" Damon asked in surprise.

"Yeah. Wouldn't you?"

"Yeah but you wouldn't."

"Not me." Stefan reminded and Damon blushed. "As long as it doesn't hurt them why not? We'll feed first and then I'll do it."

"You feed on her?"

"Yeah, she loves it. That's how I met some of my friends. They all know about vampires and enjoy being fed on. There's quite a healthy human/vampire population around here, because we only take what they allow and in exchange they feel desired and important. It works out for everyone." Stefan yawned as he explained it and Damon listened in amazement.

"Everyone here knows and they let you feed?"

"Yeah." Stefan's eyes drooped a little and Damon's head spun as he turned onto his back and thought on that.

A town where vampires and humans co-existed peacefully and had a symbiotic relationship?

"Don't they worry about compulsion?"

"Nah, I'll just have to run it by the sheriff. He's on vervain to make sure we keep our promises and don't compel without permission. I'll call him in the morning."

Damon huffed again as he thought it all through.

"Sleep." Stefan whispered and exhaled.

Damon closed his eyes and relaxed as Stefan fell asleep beside him. This was too good to be true. Stefan lived in a village where there was no trouble, no daily life threats or drama – just a bar where he could hang out and play music, people who were willing meals and no vampire hunters. There had to be a catch. His head spun for another hour as he tried to figure out what the catch was, but he came up empty and turned on his side to look at the sleeping Stefan. Stefan drank from people and he didn't kill them or rip them apart. Perhaps the Ripper had been caused by Stefan's traumatic life and now that it was erased from his head, he could feed normally. That changed everything for him and evidently it had done.

Stefan was happy, he was confident, assertive and playful. Damon wanted that too. If Stefan could give that to him should he let the ties of blood get in the way? His brother was gone – completely gone now that the ripper was too. Stefan was an entirely different person now, one that loved him and wanted him. What did he want?

He reached out and stroked Stefan's cheek lightly as he slept. He was attracted to this person. He was attracted to his assertive nature, his enthusiasm for life and for love. He'd felt so alone when Stefan had left after they'd escaped. Elena was normally his world and having her back in his bed and in his heart should have been all he cared about, but he'd felt himself pulled to come here. He had to trust that the feelings he had for this person were separate from how he'd loved his brother otherwise he would feel disgusted. He did want to try this. He did. Damn the consequences, he'd never cared about consequences before and Stefan was a grown up. He'd made his choice clear as day.

They were going to try this.

Damon fell into a dreamless sleep thanks to the Bourbon. Stefan awoke to the most beautiful sight he'd ever seen – Damon's peaceful face next to his. In Damon's sleep he had draped an arm over Stefan and Stefan took a minute to appreciate that before he crept from the bed and went into the lounge. He had to call Sheriff Greene for permission to compel.

He texted the Sheriff as was the protocol and turned on his percolator as he awaited a response.

_No compulsion. Do it the human way._

Was the response and he huffed.

_Ok._

He texted back and got two cups out of the cupboard. He had some blood bags in his fridge but he hated them cold. Drinking from the vein was much better, but he was hungry now. He started drinking one and grabbed the other and headed back to the bedroom. Damon was still sleeping. He sat down on the edge of the bed and stroked his hand through Damon's hair, stirring him gently. Damon opened his eyes.

Stefan offered him a blood bag and Damon sat up, stretching and took it from him.

"Sleep well?"

Damon nodded and began to drink.

"I'm making coffee. There's a towel in the closet if you want to have a shower." Stefan smiled and leaned in when Damon removed the blood bag from his lips, placing a soft kiss on them.

Damon kissed him back and Stefan pulled back and left the room. Damon watched after him. Last night's discussions came back to him and he went through it all again. Stefan's kissing was good, good enough to short cut his brain. He'd have to remember that. Stefan clearly wanted more than that and he could easily get carried away. The feeling of him swallowing Damon's manhood whole on the couch was just incredible but he'd had to stop it. He had to know this could work before they took that step. If his memory came back and they fought, it would be all the harder to forget being that intimate. They should stick to kissing.

Damon didn't bother to shower, instead sitting at the breakfast bar and asking Stefan questions about the vampire situation in this village as Stefan made coffee. Stefan explained that the village had only existed for little over 50 years and so there was no long standing secret council to hunt vampires down. The first few vampires whom had resided there had been born there and been turned in an accident after they'd been in New York City. They'd been fed on and forced to drink from their attacker to cover his tracks and unbelievably on the car journey home, they'd been killed in a crash. Their families couldn't turn them away and instead the humans adapted to them in a way that worked out for everyone. The two girls had had boyfriends who'd been safe at home during their excursion and these boyfriends had been willing donors. Once the sensual/pleasurable effects of being fed on became the gossip of the locker room, many others volunteered to be donors. It wasn't hard to find people who felt lonely or starved of affection and climax and a few minutes with a vampire ticked all of the boxes.

Apparently vampires were revered in this town. Vampire blood was also used for healing so the Sheriff jumped on board to allow it. The people who were donors wore a red bracelet so that they were distinguishable from those who didn't want to be fed on – which were precious few. Damon couldn't believe it, it was like paradise.

They jumped into Stefan's new car – a red Camaro as Damon laughed and teased him about the model. Stefan laughed, unashamed that he'd restored a Camaro that looked just like Damon's except for the colour.

"It reminded me of you." He said simply.

They drove to Leyla's house where Stefan sat in the car nervously after explaining that he wasn't allowed to use compulsion.

"Do it anyway." Damon snorted and Stefan chewed his lip.

"Nah, I have it good here. I don't want to rock the boat. Come on."

Damon followed him to the door and Stefan knocked as he stepped inside. Damon paused at the threshold like usual as Stefan called to Leyla.

"Come in Damon!" She called and Damon heard giggling.

He walked in and followed Stefan into the lounge. There were three girls including Leyla and he smouldered at them smiling. Leyla's two friends almost dropped their cups of coffee when they saw him. He knew he was good looking.

"Hey, have you taken your B vitamin today?" Stefan asked them all and they nodded as though that was a stupid question. "Great, Damon's new to this so you'll have to guide him."

Both girls blushed as they looked to Damon again and Leyla pulled Stefan into an embrace.

"Me first." One girl said to another and he chuckled and took a seat between them.

"Plenty of me to go round ladies." He winked.

"Hey can I talk to you?" Stefan said to Leyla and she nodded and pulled him upstairs to her room.

She began to unbutton her blouse so he could drink from her bosom like he usually did, when he stopped her and squeezed her hands.

"What's wrong?" She asked concerned at his expression.

"I have to tell you something. Damon…" He paused, unsure what to say.

"You love him don't you?" She guessed and he blinked. "It's written all over your face Stefan. It was all last night too."

"I…" he stumbled in surprise and she sighed sadly.

"You talked about him so much, I had a feeling you felt like that and then he was with you last night and it was so obvious. You barely took your eyes off of him all night."

"I'm sorry. I never meant to make you feel like this. I never thought he'd feel the same."

"Does he?" She asked and he shrugged.

"Maybe. He wants to try. When I came here, I left him behind forever. You have to believe me when I tell you that I do like you."

"I know you do." She gave a sad smile. "He is gorgeous."

"Yeah." Stefan smiled and she pulled him over to her bed and sat down, undoing the rest of her buttons.

"I knew it couldn't last between us. I don't want to be one of you. I wanna have kids some day and grow older. We couldn't be together unless I changed too." She said and he nodded.

"I thought you might want to."

"No." She smiled sadly.

"We never talked about this."

"Are you going back to Mystic Falls?" She looked up at him.

"No. I don't want to be anywhere near it. I'm staying here. I just hope I can drag him away."

"So we can still be friends?" She asked and he smiled.

"I'm not going anywhere. You sure you still want me to do this?" He indicated to her bosom and she nodded.

"Make it good." She closed her eyes and he bit into her breast in bliss.

She'd seen right through him last night and she hadn't been surprised, given how he'd talked about Damon to her. Was it that obvious to everyone? He concentrated on making the feeding as good as he could for her, licking over her skin gently as she relaxed and hummed. He wondered what it felt like to be fed on. He knew it hurt at first when his teeth went into her but after that she felt pleasure and would sometimes climax. Perhaps Damon would let him bite him and test it out, or maybe Damon would let him bite him? The possibilities were endless right now and he sighed and drank until she whispered his name. She was panting and flushed as he pulled away from her and bit his wrist in offering. She sucked at his blood until the bite mark disappeared and she let out a sigh of satisfaction.

"Thank you." He smiled and kissed her and she nodded.

"Make sure he knows the rules here." She reminded and he nodded.

By the time Stefan got back to the lounge Damon had both girls panting and flushed. Evidently Damon had mastered stopping at the right time without any instruction. Stefan chuckled at how spent the girls looked. They were certainly pleased and would accommodate him again. Damon appeared from the kitchen with two glasses of water and handed them over to them. Both girls blushed and smiled at him as though they were school girls and Damon bent down and kissed both of their hands like a gentleman before turning to Stefan.

"You know, I think I should visit this village more often." He commented and Stefan motioned for him to leave with him as he laughed.

"Thank you ladies. See you next time." Damon was such a tease.

They climbed back into the car and sped away happy and full. Today was going to be a great day.


	16. Chapter 16

Hmmmmmm.

Chapter 16 TNB

They drove for a while, chatting, teasing each other and laughing. The trauma of their incarceration a recent enough memory so as to provide them with a sense of miraculous freedom and peace now that they were out. Stefan's waterfall was elusive. In the end Damon had suggested they go to Mystic Falls instead as he knew there was a waterfall there, but Stefan refused.

"It's just a town Stef. A place. It's not evil." Damon couldn't understand why Stefan hated Mystic falls so much.

"It's never brought anything but unhappiness and danger to you." Stefan huffed and Damon caught his arm as they walked along a woodland path, following the sounds of water.

He pulled him around to face him and Stefan blushed.

"I've made decisions that brought me a lot of the shit that has happened Stef. I'm not a victim or a damsel in distress."

Stefan sighed.

"I'm don't need or want to be rolled in cotton." Damon pointed out and Stefan bit his lip.

"I don't want anything to happen to you."

"Life happens whether you like it or not. Make as many good memories as you can to block out the shitty ones ok?" Damon softened a little and Stefan searched his eyes.

"So let's make some good ones. Leave and stay with me." Stefan offered weakly, afraid of rejection and Damon searched his face seeming uncomfortable.

"You want me to move in? What happened to baby steps?"

"You don't have to stay with me. Just don't go back there. I can find you a place. We can..."

"Stef stop. I have Elena." Damon sighed and released his hold on Stefan's arm.

He moved away from him, following the path as he thought on Elena. He'd kissed his brother and let him give him, frankly an amazing blowjob, but what about Elena? Stefan followed him silently as he watched Damon's head spin.

"You're back together?"

"Kind of. I don't know." Damon mumbled. "What the hell do I know about anything?" Damon sounded frustrated and pulled at some weeds as they continued on their walk.

"She puts you in danger a lot."

"Stefan." Damon said in a warning tone. "I love her." He mumbled afterwards, more to himself.

Stefan felt his chest tighten and he stopped walking. Damon turned around and looked at him unhappily.

"You said you'd try." Stefan mumbled.

"I know."

"Have you changed your mind?"

"No."

"So what…?" Stefan frowned and tried to understand. "Do you want to…"

"I kissed you. I don't know if I can do any more than that. You're still…for god sake!" Damon growled, angry at himself.

"I thought we were having fun. Aren't we? Don't you feel free?" Stefan asked and Damon looked to him in reservation, gulping.

"Yeah."

"Because you're away from that place, away from danger?"

"I don't know, feels pretty dangerous where I'm standing right now Stef." Damon remarked and Stefan knew he was being truthful.

"Tell me what you're feeling." Stefan moved closer and Damon gulped and paled a little. "Tell me. I won't judge you."

"That's the problem. You don't and you should."

"Huh?"

"The fact that I'm even contemplating all of this makes me…" Damon gritted his teeth. "You would never do this to me if I'd lost my memory."

"I'm not you."

"You're not yourself either." Damon turned his back and rubbed his face. "So who the hell are you Stef?"

"I'm just a guy. I want to work, have fun, love till I can't bear it and I don't want to end up in a dungeon having my eye balls cut out because some girl begged me to run after her every whim." Stefan spat in anger and Damon spun around in shock that he'd use that tactic.

"I want to live!" Stefan said louder and Damon clenched his jaw in equal anger as they stared each other out.

"I want to lie down on the grass with you right now and let you have me because it's all I can think about these days. I'd let you do anything. I'd forgive you anything, but I can't forgive you if you get yourself killed." Stefan continued and Damon took a step back, horrified at how angry and full of rage Stefan seemed.

Stefan didn't get mad easily- the old Stefan. This new person had a temper it seemed. It burned like a volcano behind his eyes.

"I want to go back to that lab and find those bodies – bring them back to life and cut their organs out while they scream and plead. I want to cut their eyes out and feed them to them. I want them to rot slowly in that dungeon with no one to comfort them until the rats eat them."

"Stefan…" Damon put his hands up in slight fear and shock.

Ripper Stefan seemed nearby. Perhaps some of this new Stefan was just burying it.

"I want to kill everyone that dares to even hurt you Damon." Stefan's anger seemed to break and he crumbled a little.

Damon went to him and hugged him, stroking his back.

"I love you. Why is that so bad?" Stefan choked. "Why do you torture me with this?"

"I'm sorry." Damon held the back of Stefan's head.

"Love me Damon. Take one day out of your fucked up life and just love me." Stefan gripped him, squeezing and Damon closed his eyes and sighed.

They held each other for a few more moments as Stefan calmed. Damon placed a kiss on his forehead and took his hand, leading him onwards down their path.

Neither spoke as they trampled weeds and got mud on their boots, until they thought they heard a waterfall. They smiled at each other excitedly, rejuvenated by the prospect of finally finding a waterfall. Stefan began to run towards the sound and Damon followed hot on his tail. They ran into a clearing with a waterfall and a lake and stopped to admire the view.

"I have no idea where we are." Stefan whistled and Damon grimaced, shading his eyes in the sunlight as he looked to the water.

"Race you." Stefan grinned and took off and Damon chuckled as he enjoyed how carefree Stefan seemed again – his black mood gone completely.

Sometimes it was hard to imagine how childlike Stefan must feel. So much was new and exciting. Stefan began to throw his clothes on the ground as he headed towards the water edge and Damon laughed and tried to pick them up along the way. He bent down to pick up one of Stefan's shoes when he heard him gasp and looked up to see him at the edge. His back was turned but the muscles in his back portrayed extreme fear as he looked down into the water.

"Stefan?" Damon called in surprise at his stance. "Too cold for you?" He joked but Stefan was stock still and tense.

Damon chuckled and began to walk towards him when Stefan collapsed into the water. Fear hit Damon instantly. Stefan hadn't jumped, he'd collapsed for sure. He dropped his clothes and blurred to the edge, calling out to him but he couldn't see in the water. He jumped in looking for him and found him petrified and struggling. He grabbed him around his chest and brought them to the surface, cradling Stefan against his chest as he sat them both on the grass again. Stefan's whole body was shaking uncontrollably and Damon whispered to him and stroked his face.

"Stefan what's wrong? It's ok." Damon whispered as his own hands began to shake.

Stefan looked up at him and frowned, before hiding his face against Damon's chest.

"The water. It's too soon." Damon surmised, shaking his head at his own stupidity. "It's ok."

Stefan began to weep and Damon looked towards the water in thought.

"It's just water Stef. Just cold water that's all. You're safe."

Stefan shook his head and kept it buried in Damon's chest.

"I'll show you." Damon cooed and Stefan looked up at him feeling defeated.

Damon placed a soft kiss on his mouth to calm him and slowly sat him upright as he removed his jacket. He was soaked through anyway, he might as well. He began to strip and Stefan watched with interest. Damon tried not to let the scrutiny of his body put him off here. For a change he actually felt confident about what he was going to do. He stripped to his boxers, leaving them on much to Stefan's disappointment and stood up.

"There's nothing to be scared of." Damon gave a small smile before dive bombing into the lake suddenly.

Stefan shouted in surprise and stood up, anxiously looking for him. It took a few minutes for him to materialize to the surface and each passing second had Stefan hyperventilating. Finally Damon's head appeared and he lay back relaxed and floated, spitting water out of his mouth like a water fountain. Stefan gave a laugh of disbelief and Damon paid him no heed.

"Damon…" Stefan urged and Damon made a scene of appearing to be completely nonchalant and relaxed beyond belief as he swam around and played in the water quite happily.

Stefan could see what he was doing and he wanted it to be that easy. The water was so dark though, bottomless like his prison had seemed.

"Damon." He said unhappily and Damon looked to him and raised an eyebrow.

"Look at that face." Damon stuck out his lip teasing him. "I thought you wanted to make out by the waterfall?"

"I do." Stefan said annoyed and Damon chuckled.

"Well the waterfall won't come to you Stef. Nothing ever comes to you, you have to take what you want." Damon began swimming towards the waterfall and Stefan groaned and watched him desperately.

Damon was the biggest tease in the universe but Stefan knew he'd follow him anywhere. Even as he sat down and put his feet in the water terrified, he knew he'd do it. He breathed erratically as he prepared himself.

_What if I wake up and this has all been a dream? What if I'm still hallucinating in that box? What if..?_

"Stefan!" Damon called from a distance away, standing on a rock to the side of the waterfall.

He looked to him, almost sobbing in fear and want and Damon cracked a smile and removed his boxers. Stefan's jaw dropped open and he stared in disbelief. Damon winked and moved behind the waterfall, obscuring Stefan's view. His heart began to pound wildly and suddenly he didn't care about the water anymore. It was now simply a wet thing standing in the way of them both, of both of their bodies pressing together. He took a deep breath and dove into the water, swimming and struggling wildly not to let fear over take his reason. He just had to get to Damon, had to reach him where he would be safe, where this would all be real. He just knew deep in his bones that if Damon joined with him, he'd finally believe this was all real. Only Damon made everything feel real.

He gasped and struggled until he reached the rock and threw himself on it breathing heavily. He looked at the water, at the distance he'd swam in haste to get here and he felt a little amazed at himself. Damon had dangled the carrot and he'd come running. Now, he wanted his carrot. Damon said he had to take what he wanted. It was time he did.

He stood up and looked for the passageway Damon had taken, following Damon's wet footsteps cautiously. He found him in a small cavern, sitting watching the water flow before him. Damon looked almost meditative sitting cross-legged and mesmerized by the patterns the water created. Stefan sat down beside him and looked to the water too. The sounds of the water falling made his ears pop slightly and everything in the cave seemed to echo. The air was thinner too and Stefan found himself relaxing into his breathing to stop himself feeling like there wasn't enough oxygen. It was calming.

Damon turned to look at him and smiled warmly. Stefan smiled back and reached for his face. Damon allowed it and Stefan pulled him forward into an embrace and kissed Damon lips softly. Damon raised his arms up to stroke down Stefan's and Stefan deepened their kiss. Their first proper kiss last night had been wonderful, he wanted this one to be better. Damon stroked a hand up into Stefan's hair and Stefan hummed and stroked their tongues together. The water sheltered them, making them feel like they had the utmost amount of privacy so Stefan made his move. He tilted them over onto the ground, surprised to find a bed of moss covering the floor that cushioned them. He maneuvered so he had Damon beneath him and climbed on top of him, making Damon breathe in sharply as he felt Stefan's erection. Would he stop him this time?

Stefan took hold of Damon's manhood and began to pump it, making Damon gasp and moan.

"Let me please." Stefan breathed in between kisses and Damon nodded, kissing back with more passion.

Stefan kissed down his beautiful naked body as Damon lay relaxed and willing. He sucked him into his mouth again and Damon moaned loudly. He would finish it this time. He worked his flesh as he had before making Damon pant and shiver.

"Oh god Stef." Damon moaned and Stefan hollowed his cheeks. "Uh!"

Damon was almost close to climax again, his testicles tightening in warning of the oncoming storm, when Stefan pulled his mouth away and breathed heavy. Damon groaned in disbelief and looked at him in horror and Stefan kissed back up to his face, straddling him and pumping lightly on his erection.

"Stefan please." Damon groaned, gyrating and Stefan rose up onto his knees, taking him by surprise as he lowered himself slowly onto Damon's flesh.

Damon gasped and grabbed his hips, halting him as he felt his erection press against Stefan's entrance. He panted, eyes wide in fear and Stefan looked at him calmly.

"I love you." Stefan smiled unrestricted and happy and Damon opened his mouth to argue.

Stefan placed his hands on Damon's chest and leaned over to kiss him with as much love as he could demonstrate and Damon began to lose his reluctance to continue. Slowly, so slowly, Stefan urged Damon's hands away back down to the earth beneath them and interlinked their fingers as he kissed and hovered above him. Damon closed his eyes and relaxed again and Stefan removed a hand to insert Damon inside of him.

He'd come to learn very quickly how adaptable a vampire body was. He knew that he could do this without having to have any preparation. Being a vampire was so convenient some times, because he couldn't wait any longer. He slipped the head inside, gasping in pleasure as he smiled at Damon's reaction. Damon tilted up and let his mouth fall open. He slid down deeper, feeling his body stretch to accommodate. He couldn't believe Damon was inside of him. It was finally happening!

When he was fully sheathed he took a moment just to breathe and look down at Damon's face. His eyes were still closed as he relaxed and tried to allow Stefan to settle around him. Everything seemed so loud and bright. The sounds of the water echoed in his ears, the spray a gentle kiss of water against his skin as he felt the heat of Damon's body inside of him. This was real. Tears sprang to his eyes as he finally relaxed in that belief. No amount of hallucinations could equal how utter real and solid everything felt in this moment. He linked his fingers with Damon's hands again and began to move slowly and gently. Damon's lips were still parted and he drew in a deep breath every time Stefan released him almost completely from his body and took him back inside again.

Stefan's movement quickened and he leant forward to suck on Damon's chest and nipples. Damon slid his hands around to support his bottom and began to help him move, thrusting up into him. Damon participation made Stefan all the more excited and he let Damon take over as he leaned forward almost on top of him. Damon opened his eyes and looked up at him, catching his mouth for some quick, wet kisses as Stefan began to moan. The thrusts came quicker and more desperate as they gasped and grabbed each other. This wouldn't last long and they both knew it. Damon sat upright, holding Stefan to him and began to lower him down onto his back with Stefan's legs around his shoulders. Stefan lay his head back, sucking in deep breaths as Damon went deeper and held his gaze.

"Love you, love you!" Stefan cried out as he began to climax and Damon squeezed his legs tighter around him and began to pant.

Stefan's seed spilled onto his stomach as he cried and tilted his head back and Damon sped up, almost falling over on top of him in his urgency to climax too. He shouted out, causing the echo to bounce around the walls of the cavern as he surrendered his seed and will to Stefan's hungry body. He sat back on his knees after he'd emptied himself and pulled out from Stefan slowly. He felt dizzy from the exertion but amazingly happy and content.

Stefan closed his eyes and began to weep as he let his legs relax to the ground and instantly Damon had him scooped up into his embrace, desperately apologizing and cursing his selfishness. Was Stefan regretting this now? Did he realize this was wrong now? Stefan cupped his face with both hands and kissed him to shut him up. Damon kissed back confused and pulled their faces apart as he tried to figure out what Stefan was thinking.

"I'm free. I'm really free." Stefan choked and began to weep again and Damon held him tight.

"You're safe." Damon soothed, on the verge of weeping himself as Stefan let out all of the fear and pain he'd felt over the beginnings of his life pour out of him.

He could let it all go now, let it sink to the dark bottom of his mind, because it was over. Damon had pulled him from the depths and now stood beside him, loving him, keeping him safe and protected. Damon began to weep silently against Stefan's shoulder as the time passed and Stefan calmed, feeling a huge sense of protective impulses begin to grow in him. Damon had been there for him in this strange transition from death-like life to life-like death and he'd do the same for him now. Damon lived in constant danger of death. Stefan would bring him into the world again.

He pulled back from him and kissed Damon's cheeks one after the other until Damon lifted his head and captured his mouth. Their kiss was emotional and needy and neither cared to end it as they held each other, aware that the sun had since gone down and left them naked, wet and without their clothes. Eventually the draw of food made them separate and they looked into each other's eyes as though seeing each other clearly for the first time.

Damon stroked his thumb over Stefan's cheekbones and exhaled.

"This shouldn't feel so right." He said and Stefan wound his arms around Damon's waist.

"Now you are where I've been since that first night you brought me home."

"I never want to hurt you, but I don't think I can be your brother again." Damon croaked and Stefan chuckled.

"It's about time." Stefan grinned and Damon smiled too. "I'm hungry."

"Me too." Damon smoldered at him and Stefan chuckled.

"For food. Then we can go home and you can show me what you got."

"Ah." Damon grinned, raising an eyebrow. "I got all the moves."

"I'll take them all." Stefan bit Damon's lip playfully and Damon lifted him by his hips, carrying him out of the waterfall as Stefan wrapped his legs around his back and held onto his shoulders for support.

They emerged to the moonlight and Damon stood Stefan on his feet again as they looked up at it.

"This is like being in a Doris Day movie…well, the x-rated version." Damon mused as Stefan gazed and smiled at how the light made the water look romantic and beautiful.

"Who?" Stefan asked and Damon shook his head and laughed.

"Never mind. That's next week's lesson."

Damon slid back into the water calmly and held his hand out for him and Stefan caught his breath in his throat again for a moment.

"Follow me." Damon whispered, urging him in and Stefan took his hand, shivering a little in apprehension again.

"Anywhere." Stefan whispered back and followed him into the water.


	17. Chapter 17

Rocky ride guys. I have big plans

Chapter 17 TNB almost

Damon refused to let Stefan drive, given how jelly-like his legs were after sex and the fear of the water on the swim back. Stefan had given in, secretly happy that Damon was being protective. They drove back carefully along the road as Stefan sat back and relaxed, feeling the glow of the space inside of him where Damon had been. Damon chatted happily, giving him instructions on how he should treat the car.

"A Camaro is like a lady Stef – the aristocracy kind." He's smiled at him flashing his teeth and Stefan smiled happy and fuzzy.

This was going to be a proper beginning for them, he knew it. They got back to Stefan's apartment and Damon threw himself down onto the sofa as Stefan het up some blood bags in the microwave.

"No dial a human in this town yet?" Damon observed and Stefan chuckled and shook his head. "We could go out and feed. That bar was quite good."

"Nah, alcohol and control don't mix. We are better to dine in. Besides, those two girls will be all over you if they're there and I might just have to kill them." Stefan joked but Damon's expression flickered with a hint of stress. "I'm joking!" Stefan laughed, pouring the blood bags into cups.

"Blood bags it is." Damon gave a tight smile and Stefan sat the cups down and took a seat next to him.

He turned towards him and cupped his face, wanting to kiss him again but Damon stiffened a little.

"What?" Stefan asked in concern and Damon stroked his cheek.

"Listen I feel like we are flying a plane down a rail track here Stef. We need to slow down."

"Why?" Stefan asked wounded.

"Because this is all new. We need to get our heads around everything first."

"It's a bit late to be shy." Stefan smiled and Damon pulled him into him for a soft kiss.

"I haven't a shy bone in my body, but I know I'm right about this." Damon whispered as he kissed Stefan's jaw.

"How slow?" Stefan grumbled and Damon chuckled against the skin of his neck.

Stefan pulled back from him, frowning as he realised where this was going.

"You don't want to have sex again?" He guessed and Damon swallowed guiltily. "Didn't you..?"

"Yes." Damon said immediately.

"Was I..?"

"Yes." Damon replied in the same tone and Stefan huffed. "I want to enjoy this slow and make sure we're both sure about what we're doing here."

"You just think if we are having sex and I remember everything I will hate you." Stefan accused and Damon shrugged. "Don't you want me?"

"A world of yes Stefan, but there's no rush ok?"

"So I can't touch you? Just like before." Stefan turned away from him and held himself angrily.

Damon reached out and took one of his hands, placing it to his lips and kissing his fingers until Stefan looked at him doing so. Damon kept his eyes trained on him and sucked Stefan's fingers into his mouth. Stefan inhaled at the warmth and felt his body responded. Damon was sucking his fingers in and out and Stefan was getting hard just from the subtext. He pulled his fingers out of Damon's mouth and captured them with a kiss instead, pushing Damon backwards so he could lie on top of him and hold him close. Their kissing grew heated quickly, forcing their hands into each other's clothing, seeking skin to skin contact and Damon rolled him over beneath him.

"Slow, slow." Damon panted and Stefan grunted and pulled Damon back down for a kiss.

Damon felt his resistance fading and he began to flex his hips into Stefan's. Rutting against each other felt good but it wasn't enough. Stefan reached between their bodies and opened Damon's jeans. He stroked Damon hard member until it popped out of the denim and Damon panted and deepened their kiss. He wanted him again – all night in fact, to hell with this slow thing Damon wanted. Life was too short. Damon began to undo Stefan's jeans too now, hurriedly pulling them down to his ankles. He took Stefan's hands from his erection and held them down at his sides as Stefan gazed up at him.

"I'm not going to have sex with you until I'm sure this is what we both really want, but it doesn't mean I'm not going to drive you wild." He grinned down at him and Stefan exhaled shakily.

"Bite me." Stefan whispered, flushed with desire.

"What?" Damon panted.

"Feed on me please." Stefan rocked his hips, freeing his legs from his jeans to capture Damon between them. "It looks so good."

Damon smiled down at him and gave a growling sound.

"That's pretty intimate Stefan."

"Just a little, then I won't push you for more." Stefan gyrated and Damon gasped at the friction.

Damon chewed his lip and lowered his head to Stefan's neck, slowly. Stefan rested his legs down on the sofa again, allowing Damon to lie down on top of him. He opened his mouth, showing Stefan his fangs to make sure he still wanted this and Stefan tilted his neck and closed his eyes. Damon's bite hurt more than he thought it would and he hissed and tensed. Damon slid their bodies together to calm him and rub their groins together to distract him from the pain. Very quickly the pain vanished and was replaced by a warmth that filled Stefan's stomach like hot liquid. He exhaled in wonder and felt his toes curling, it did feel like an orgasm but gentler – there was no desperation and rush for completion, just a steadying growth of pleasure that had Stefan panting. He let out a moan and arched and Damon dragged his mouth away, licking over the bite until it faded and healed.

"That was amazing!" Stefan gasped and Damon remained quiet, laying his head in at Stefan's shoulder. "I want you to do that again!" Stefan gave a chuckle and held Damon close.

Damon stayed silent but breathed softly against Stefan's skin.

"Can I bite you?" Stefan asked and Damon exhaled. "I want to try…"

Damon bit down again before Stefan had a chance to finish his sentence and Stefan gasped in surprise. The pain was less this time because his body felt so relaxed and fuzzy. The previous pleasure seemed to continue where it left off and Stefan found himself moaning and gyrating. He could climax just from this definitely.

"Damon, uhh Damon." He panted, sliding their bodies against one another as Damon gulped and enjoyed him loudly.

Damon finally broke away gasping for breath and holding Stefan down as he growled. Stefan looked up at him grinning.

"You still want to go slow?" Stefan panted and Damon's eyes flashed with danger and arousal.

He pulled Stefan from the sofa and threw him over his shoulder, heading to the bedroom where he unceremoniously threw Stefan down on the mattress before growling and stalking around the bed, considering what he wanted to do. Stefan pulled the rest of his clothes off quickly, never taking his eyes from Damon's. Damon looked wild and feral and Stefan liked it, gone was Damon's over active mind, his guilt, his restraint.

"You want more?" Stefan teased, tilting his neck again and Damon growled and removed his clothing in a flurry, jumping on top of him and opening Stefan's legs wide.

Stefan lay back welcoming him and gasped as Damon entered him and began to pound, growling and holding him down by his collarbone. It was harder than the last time, less like making love and more like instinct but it felt amazing. Damon drank more from him, making Stefan almost cry in pleasure as he emptied his seed and felt the blood rush bring an orgasm too. It was intense and unbelievable and he wasn't sure whether he passed out a few times.

When he woke up, Damon was asleep still. He touched his neck, feeling it a little raw from Damon's teeth but it was healed like usual. Perhaps that was a good way to circumvent Damon's worry – let the blood take over and kick start his base urges. He didn't want to go slow, he wanted it like this. What was the point of going slow anyway – he knew what he wanted and it wouldn't change. They'd already talked about their strategy should the worst happen. He got up, staggering slightly and went to get some blood from the fridge. Damon must have taken more from him than he thought as he felt weak. Still it was worth it. He drank a few blood bags before he heard Damon rise and speak on his cell phone.

"Yeah, everything's fine. I'll see you later." Damon said and Stefan felt his heart sink.

Damon was going to go home and he knew it. Why couldn't he just stay here? Damon walked through to the lounge and looked at him, frowning.

"Morning." Stefan said and Damon gave a tight smile. "I take it that's your bell being wrung."

"Don't be like this ok? I have a life back there just like you have here." Damon said grumpy and annoyed as he looked for his clothes.

"You're going right now?" Stefan asked in disbelief and Damon let out a huge sigh.

"We should cool off for a bit."

"Just go then!" Stefan barked and Damon stopped and looked to him.

"Stef I want to be here, but I can't just abandon everything. It'll take time." Damon's tone was softer and Stefan felt his eyes glisten.

Damon walked over to him and he turned his back. Damon wound his arms around him and kissed the back of his neck softly. Stefan melted back into him and held his hands over Damon's.

"I love you." Stefan whispered.

"I'll be back I promise. I'll call you later." Damon kissed over his shoulder and tightened his hold to squeeze him.

"Promise."

"I promise. You have to come back to Mystic Falls eventually you know." Damon mumbled against his skin and Stefan removed his hands and turned to face him annoyed.

"Why would I do that?"

"We've done your waterfall, it's my turn and I have the biggest bed known to man." Damon teased and Stefan smiled, realising that Damon wasn't meaning for him to move there permanently again.

They kissed and held each other, Stefan groaning at the loss of him already even though he was still wrapped around him. He didn't want him to go. He frowned as Damon parted their mouths and pulled on Damon's hands to stop him from leaving.

"Don't go."

Damon ran his fingers through Stefan's hair and kissed him again, pulling back and running his thumb over Stefan's cheekbone as they looked into each other's eyes.

"There's nowhere I'd rather be." Damon whispered. "Baby steps."

Stefan nodded unhappily and Damon kissed his cheeks, before he parted their bodies and resumed dressing. Stefan watched him go with a heavy heart as Damon gave him a reassuring smile and closed the door behind him.

Damon took a deep breath when he hit the cool air outside and he doubled over and held his knees. His head was spinning. He breathed evenly to regain his equilibrium for a few minutes. His world was upside down. He'd come here to visit they guy who was kinda still his brother, but alluring and he was leaving having found a new way of life filled with humans who let you feed willingly, music, adventure excitement and the best sex he'd ever had with someone who looked like his brother.

The worst thing about this whole thing was that he wanted it so badly. He hadn't realised how little he'd been living under the constant shadow of Klaus, or Silas or Elena changing her mind about where her heart lay. He'd though he had a pretty full life, but really for a long time he'd simply been waiting and he hadn't realised for what. Stefan had everything going for him here and he wanted to share it. Damon shook his head and moved to his Camaro, climbing in and starting the engine as he thought on last night. He shouldn't have slept with him again but he couldn't stop. Stefan's blood was potent and delicious and he couldn't deny himself. He'd have to be more careful. He'd never been the kind of guy to go on dates – he liked just taking what he wanted but this situation was totally new and different. Stefan was new to this, to his feelings and they had to be careful.

As Damon drove back towards home he made a decision to slow it down for real. They'd date – court each other like humans did and then they'd be solid and sure. He could court him, it might actually be fun. It would help them both get to know each other as who they were right now, not who they'd been. It was a great idea and made Damon feel more relaxed and confident. No more sex until they'd gotten to know each other.

He arrived back at the Boarding House, feeling his stomach lurch in anticipation. He had to tell Elena. She deserved to know what was happening. He just didn't know how he was going to admit it. He entered the lounge to find her sitting on the couch, draped in a blanket, reading as though she still lived there and she smiled over at him.

"Hey."

"Hey." He smiled and she immediately knew something was wrong.

She lay her book down and stood up, wrapping her blanket around her and coming to him as he removed his jacket and hung it up.

"What's wrong?" She asked and took his hands.

"Nothing. I'm fine." He lied and she searched his face.

"How's Stefan?"

"Yeah, good. Great actually." He assured and she searched his eyes. "I need a shower."

He squeezed her hands and moved to walk towards the stairs when she clicked.

"Oh my god." She said numb and he halted with his back turned, closing his eyes. "You didn't."

He took a deep breath and stayed still as she gasped. He could practically feel the wheels in her head turning.

"You slept with him?" Her voice was strange, not angry like he'd expected.

He didn't respond, he didn't know what to say.

"Did you?" She demanded and he exhaled. "How could you? He's your brother!" She shouted, angry now and he began to ascend the stairs.

He had nothing to say. He didn't feel guilty about it and that was the truth, but he did feel guilty about how upset she was. She called after him angrily and he kept his head low as he went to his room and closed the door. He knew she'd come after him. He was barely in the shower before she came into his room. He sighed and turned the shower on, desperate to cleanse himself. The way she was looking at him made him feel filthy.

"So, you are sleeping together now, even though you know he's not himself?" She demanded a response from him.

"Elena, it's not like that." He mumbled and turned his back to her, putting his face in the spray.

"He needs you! He needs you to be his brother and you've taken advantage of him Damon! How could you do that to him?!" She was livid and threw some bottles of shampoo at his back, making him flinch.

"He's not my brother!" He shouted, pressing his face into the tiles.

"I can't believe you! You bastard!" She shouted, tears in her voice. "He'll never forgive you!"

She stormed out of the room weeping as he sank down onto the floor of the shower and tried to breathe. She'd known so quickly – how had she known? Perhaps it was inevitable. Everyone knew how selfish he was and that he didn't follow the same rules everyone else did. He sat there under the cascade of the shower spray and thought back to the waterfall. It had felt right. It had been perfect. He hadn't initiated it, Stefan had wanted him inside and it had just felt…so right to allow it. He hadn't forced himself upon him, in fact he'd tried everything he could to avoid this, hadn't he? Hadn't he been a good brother up until now?

He stayed there for ages, until the hot water ran out, forcing him to climb out and dress. He could hear Elena smashing things downstairs and he tried to prepare himself for her rage. His phone buzzed and he lifted it.

_Miss you.x_

Stefan's words made him feel better. This was right. He felt his chest lighten. No matter what people said to him today, Stefan loved him and wanted him. He knew that he wanted to be part of what Stefan was giving him. He had to try it. He couldn't live like this anymore.

_So you should _

He texted back and smiled to himself as he popped the cell back into his jeans. He looked around his room – Elena had slept in his bed again. He had to end this now before he hurt her even more. He headed for the stairs, taking a deep breath and began his descent.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18 TNB

It had been the hardest conversation in Damon's life. Elena had been so broken, so upset. She fought with him physically, punching him and baring her fangs. It was a side he'd never seen of her and the only thing that stopped her trying to rip his heart out had been Caroline and Jeremy's intervention. They were all appalled and couldn't even look at him, leaving him sitting against the cold marble of the corner of the fireplace panting as they dragged Elena to her car and took her to Matt's. The house looked like the site of a war and he couldn't be bothered to fix or re-arrange it right now. He simply sat there on the floor for hours as he fought his own tears. His only solace came from thinking of Stefan.

Stefan hadn't texted all day, probably trying to allow him the breathing space he wanted. He got to his feet eventually and wiped tears from his cheeks. He'd done worse things than this surely. She would forgive him eventually right? She would. If she could forgive him for killing her birth mom, killing Jeremy…the list went on and on. She would forgive him for this when she saw that Stefan wasn't the same. She would.

He climbed the stairs and flopped down into his bed exhausted. It still smelled like her and he fought the urge to weep. He did love her, always had but he wanted to live. He didn't want to just exist anymore and that's all he'd ever be able to do with her. With Stefan he could have friends that didn't judge him, live a life free of evil beings and ghosts of the past. They could start fresh and be happy. He gripped the sheets as he thought on how desperately he wanted that – a clean slate.

A few days passed and every moment Damon wanted to return to Stefan, but he had things to sort out here. Elena was doing radio silence but Caroline certainly didn't afford him that luxury. She tore through him without mercy until he had to hold her up by her throat and remind her just how little he gave a crap about killing her and how much stronger he was. She'd been afraid and retreated. With Tyler gone she had no one to stand up for her and no werewolf bite as a warning. He drove around on the third day, looking for a gift for Stefan. They'd talked on the phone every night and each time they hung up Damon felt his feelings grow for this person. He felt giddy as a teenager. He didn't tell Stefan what was going on at home, he didn't want him to get angry – the girls were still his friends.

He stopped outside of a store and smiled excitedly when he looked in the window. Perfect! He jumped out and paid the vendor more than the gift was worth simply due to his excitement. He wanted to woo Stefan properly and flowers and candy wouldn't cut it with a dude. No, it had to be romantic but practical. He began his drive home, stopping off for some of their favourite bourbon when Stefan called. He stuck the cell into the crook of his shoulder and answered cheerily.

"Hey!"

"Where are you?" Stefan sounded strange.

"I'm out. What's wrong?"

"I'm at the Boarding House, can you come?"

"See you in 5." He answered, frowning in concern.

His guts started to clench in worry as he sped the rest of the way home. He practically ran into the lounge to find Stefan, Elena and Caroline all sitting uncomfortably. He stopped in surprise and looked to them all. Stefan looked to him and marched over. Damon held himself tight, expecting an assault but Stefan pulled him against him and locked their mouths together, kissing him passionately. Damon wound his arms around him and melted into it as Stefan pushed and slid his tongue into Damon's mouth. Damon's head spun a little in surprise but he kissed back with equal emotion until he heard a grunt of disapproval.

"Gross." He heard Caroline mumble and he softened the kiss and broke it.

Stefan held him still, nipping at his lips as Damon breathed. What was this? A demonstration. Stefan smiled at him and turned around to look at the girls, who were now pale and grossed out.

"You see?" Stefan demanded and neither girl looked at him.

"What's going on?" Damon asked a little breathlessly, looking towards Elena.

"I've been bombarded with calls and texts about how you are using me, how awful a person you are for encouraging my delusions." Stefan said angrily and Damon sighed and rubbed his eyes. "I wanted to show how much of a crock of shit that is."

"Stefan, don't." Damon sighed.

"No Damon! I've had enough of the judgement. I don't give a crap what people say to me but I care about what they say to you." Stefan was so angry.

Damon stroked his arms soothingly.

"Hey, it's ok. I'm fine."

"You are NOT fine. When are you going to stop saying that?" Stefan cupped his cheek and Damon leaned into it. "I'm not some child who needs to be protected. I'm not poor, pathetic Stefan Salvatore either. I am me and I will have you if and when I please because I love you."

"Stefan you don't know what you're saying." Caroline whined and Elena bit her lip.

"I know more than you do Blondie!" Stefan snarled, his vampire face showing.

"Hey. Hey." Damon calmed him and leaned their foreheads together. "She's your friend Stefan."

"Stefan we love you, we're just trying to protect you. This isn't right." Elena said full of emotion and Stefan let out a slow growl.

"They feel just like I did before. It's ok." Damon soothed and Stefan looked at him, the anger fading to sadness.

"Have you changed your mind?"

"No." Damon gave a smile and Stefan let out a breath of relief. "Baby steps."

"I thought maybe they'd changed your mind." He hissed towards them. "I'd have…" He was getting angry again. "This is _my_ life."

"I know. Everything is still new though. Maybe they need to see that." Damon said and Elena huffed.

"You seriously think you can have a relationship? He's your brother and nothing you can do can change that. You can lie to yourselves all you want, but when you start to remember it's going to go to hell." Caroline advised.

They fell into silence as Stefan breathed angrily. Elena looked over to them both and took in the way they were still holding each other.

"I don't understand." She said quietly and they both looked to her. "How you can be different enough that this could happen? You're still the same person Stefan, you're just a little lost."

"What is it that really bothers you about this? Is it the fact that you miss the Stefan who loved you and would follow you around like a puppy? Because I know he did. Or do you miss having Damon's full attention so he could do the same?" Stefan accused and she was struck hard by the accusation, immediately tearing up.

"Hold on!" Caroline said enraged.

"Stefan…" Damon said in concern.

"You had two guys running around into near death situations for you at the drop of a hat. Now I live my own life free of that and I want Damon to join me. That's what really bothers you isn't it?"

"Stefan for god's sake. Damon do something!" Caroline shouted as she pulled Elena into a hug.

"Stefan." Damon said a little louder.

"He wants to be with me, away from this hell hole!"

"Stefan!" Damon shouted and Stefan stopped and turned back to him, full of emotion.

Damon exhaled and clenched his jaw. Stefan looked tormented and he pulled him into him for a hug as Caroline and Elena sniffled. Stefan held onto him and rested his face into Damon's neck.

"We all need to calm down." Damon said calmly.

"Leave with me. Right now. Please." Stefan beseeched into Damon's neck and Elena looked over at them at she dried her tears.

Damon closed his eyes and squeezed Stefan tight.

"I love both of you. I never wanted to put anyone in danger." She whispered as Caroline stroked through her hair.

"He knows that, deep down." Damon said, squeezing Stefan tighter.

Stefan kissed Damon's neck gently and pulled back to look at the girls again. He was much calmer now.

"Let him go." Stefan said and Elena looked to Damon, confused.

Damon looked down at the ground. Stefan had told him to let his brother go and he had. He wanted Elena to do the same now, but could she?

"Let him go before he gets killed." Stefan added and Damon looked to him in surprise.

Stefan linked Damon's fingers in his and looked at him as Damon opened his mouth to speak but couldn't.

"I can look after him and love him." Stefan continued and Caroline put her face in her hands. "This is what I want. You said you were my friends."

Damon separated their hands and walked into the kitchen needing some air. Stefan watched him go with his heart in his throat, but he didn't follow him. Damon needed some time. He looked back at the girls – at Caroline rubbing her face and Elena staring into the fire numb from his verbal attack. A crash sounded from the kitchen and Stefan ran in there to find Damon's hands shaking as he cleared the glass of bourbon he'd poured. Stefan's eyes widened at the sight and smell of the blood coming from the palm of Damon's hand and he felt his mouth water. He bet Damon tasted good. He bet his blood was sweet. He took a step towards him, his veins protruding as Damon dumped the glass into the trash and licked his hand clean, before rubbing it on his jeans and letting it heal. The wound was sealed before Stefan got a chance to see it and he frowned, feeling cheated. He inhaled deeply and looked to Damon's mouth. There were still traces of blood there and he wanted it. Damon frowned at his expression and Stefan blurred to him and kissed him, pressing him up against the worktop as he licked his tongue and lips free of the blood. Damon responded as hungrily and held him until the taste of blood was gone from their mouths. They separated and rested their foreheads together breathing.

"I love you." Damon whispered and Stefan pulled back in amazement and gasped.

Damon gave him a small smile and Stefan held his face in his hands.

"God help me I do." Damon closed his eyes and Stefan grabbed him into a fierce hug.

Elena and Caroline listened and looked to each other in reservation. This was going to happen. It had happened already and there was no way to stop it. Both brothers were enamoured and had lost their minds. There was no way of talking them out of it. Elena cringed at the sound of the kissing and whispers of love that came from the kitchen. They did love each other – somehow. She could understand Stefan's love but not Damon's. Was it part jealousy? She stood up, Caroline watching her as she moved towards the kitchen. Damon and Stefan separated, blushing. She could see the mess Damon had made of the glass and she sighed. She needed something normal right now and they weren't going to provide that. She moved past them into a large cupboard and withdrew a brush and shovel, walking towards them again and Stefan held his hand out and took it from her.

"I'll get it." He said.

She nodded and looked to Damon. Damon had a little glow in his cheeks and she gave a small nod.

"I'm going to hit the hay." She advised and Damon nodded, unable to look in her eyes. "I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Yeah." He said and she looked to Stefan.

"Speak tomorrow." Stefan gave her a small smile and she nodded again.

She returned to the lounge where Caroline was waiting with her jacket. They'd crash at Matt's again tonight till they figured their heads out. Poor Matt had been such a host lately. Still, she knew he missed them now that they were at college so he enjoyed the company. Both girls left them in peace and drove away without saying goodbye and Stefan let out the breath he'd been holding. He felt exhausted from all the anger. All day he'd been bombarded to the point where he'd almost trashed the car he was working on he'd been so angry. He'd closed up the workshop and jumped straight into his car to sort everything out. He'd known Damon would have told Elena they'd been intimate but he had expected Damon to just come to him once he had. The thought that Damon had endured three days of this treatment from the girls drove him mad.

"Come on. Let's go to bed." Stefan said, tugging at Damon's elbow. "I want to show you how right this is."

"Stefan, no." Damon sighed and tugged his elbow back. "This is too much too soon."

"Stop being a martyr." Stefan groaned and Damon huffed.

"A martyr?"

"Yes. Stop it." Stefan folded his arms. "You just admitted you love me."

"I do." Damon grunted.

"Then show me. Let's go to bed."

"I'm trying to show you, but you keep…" Damon slammed his hand down on the worktop in frustration and Stefan unfolded his arms. "This has to be more than sex ok? I want more."

"So do I, I want everything." Stefan softened.

"Then take your time! Let me take it slow. I'm giving up everything for you here and you're rushing me!" Damon gritted his teeth.

Stefan wound his arms around him from behind and kissed the nape of his neck in understanding.

"I'm sorry." He whispered in between kisses. "I'm sorry."

"This is the hardest thing I've done Stefan." Damon was almost trembling and Stefan whispered words of apology again.

"Do you want me to go?" Stefan whispered.

"No." Damon whispered back and Stefan turn him around to face him, kissing his cheeks.

"Then let's sleep. Tomorrow we can start fresh. I can wait till you're ready for more." Stefan soothed and Damon closed his eyes relaxing.

Stefan pulled his hands, leading him up to Damon's bedroom. Once inside he helped Damon undress and slipped into the bed with him, holding him and kissing him gently. Damon searched his eyes.

"I want you more than anything." Damon confessed and Stefan nodded. "I don't care what they think."

"Yes you do, but it's ok. We'll show them that things are different."

"I can't leave her like this."

"I know." Stefan cooed and urged Damon to sleep.

Damon gave in and closed his eyes. Stefan stroked his hair and down his back all night as he enjoyed the closeness even without the intimacy. This was still intimate and it would be enough for a while. He fell asleep, lulled by Damon's steady breathing, safe in the knowledge that things were going to be better, clearer now that everything was out in the open. Nothing could go wrong now.

Stefan awoke to the light filtering in from Damon's curtains. Damon was gone from the bed and Stefan stretched and yawned. He could hear voices down in the lounge. Elena was back. At least there was no shouting this time. He decided to let them have their chat privately and jumped into Damon's shower. He smiled to himself as he used Damon's body wash. He couldn't find the shampoo anywhere though and he grumbled looking for it. He eventually found it wedged between the towels on the rack and he shrugged at its strange placement out-with the shower. He covered himself in Damon's products, breathing in the familiar smell and went to find some clothing. He contemplated wearing Damon's clothes but decided against it. Damon was precious about his clothes – that he knew. Damon was the vainest person he'd ever met when it came to fashion. He walked in a towel, into his old room and looked for anything he'd left there. Stefan Salvatore had so much junk. He kept finding discarded clothes and items in every nook and cranny. There was no order in the room. Stefan liked order. His new flat had a place for everything, so this room drove him mad. He finally found jeans and a t-shirt and threw them on.

All seemed quiet on the Western Front as he descended the stairs and found the lounge empty. The coffee percolator was on in the kitchen so he moved through there.

Elena was making coffee at the worktop and Damon was sitting daydreaming. They both looked up as he entered and smiled.

"Morning." Stefan announced.

"Hey." She said softly. "Coffee?" She offered and he nodded. "Black, two sugars?"

"Yuck! No, white with four please." He wrinkled his nose and she paused, studying him in surprise.

Damon gave a small chuckle from where he was sitting and Stefan raised his eyebrows in surprise. Of course, old Stefan must have taken his coffee that way. Elena gave an unsure smile and made his coffee accordingly. They all sat together in silence as they drank from their mugs.

"So, Damon says you play drums now?" She asked.

"Yeah. I have a band. You should come and hear us play." Stefan offered and she smiled and looked at Damon.

"He's good." Damon said.

"So, you're a mechanic now?"

"Specialist car repairer." He corrected and Damon chuckled. "I remodel vintage cars, bring them back to life."

"Cool." She smiled and he chuckled too.

"I'm not Stefan Salvatore Elena. Come on, surely even you can see that?" He said lightly, reaching out to squeeze her hand and she swallowed and took a sip from her coffee.

"It's hard to see you any other way. I've known all sides of you."

"The ripper?" He said and she nodded. "The no humanity one?" She nodded again. "But not me."

She searched his face and chewed her lip.

"Let the old Stefan go." He said and she sighed and looked to Damon. "I want to be happy."

"I want that for you too." She said, squeezing his hand back.

They drank in silence for a few minutes. Stefan turned to look at Damon and reached out for his hand across the table. Damon hesitated, looking over at Elena before giving him his hand. Elena looked at their fingers intertwining and she bit her lip.

"I can't pretend to be happy about this. It still feels wrong. If it were Jeremy – I…" She shook her head, trying to dispel her feelings of nausea at the prospect of incest.

Damon tensed and withdrew his hand from Stefan's and Stefan tensed too, unhappily.

"I'll try to understand." She added and Stefan looked to her hopefully. "If you really want this."

"I'm not asking for your permission." Stefan was blunt and Damon sighed and folded his arms annoyed at him. "But, you're important. I see that." Stefan flicked his eyes over to Damon. "I want you to be part of my life, but you have to accept that we are together."

Elena gave a weak smile and nodded, picking up their mugs and standing up to take them to the sink when she dropped them. They smashed all over the floor and she fretted. Stefan and Damon both stood up, assuring her it was ok and Stefan went to help her lift up the shards from the floor. Damon went around them and lifted the shovel that had been placed there from the previous evening when Elena yelped.

"Ouch!" She cried as a piece of glass left over from last night sliced into her finger.

Stefan inhaled deeply and opened his mouth as saliva filled it. The blood pooled and dripped onto the floor. He wanted it. He wanted it now.


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19 TNB

"Stefan?!" Elena's eyes widened as Stefan's vampire face came forward and he tensed to pounce on her.

Suddenly there was motion and Stefan fell to the side, hitting his head on the corner of the counter. Elena screamed and he lifted himself to find out what was happening. Damon, Damon was on top of her and she was screaming.

"Stefan!" She cried out and then Stefan realised why.

Damon was snapping at her trying to bite her neck.

"Damon!" He shouted and jumped on top of him, pulling him off.

Damon growled and resisted. When had he gotten so strong? He eventually managed to wrench him from her but Damon was wild, like an animal and went for him too. Stefan fell backwards and Damon was on top of him, snapping his fangs at him as Stefan struggle to hold him at bay. Elena came up behind him and grabbed a hold of Damon's head, snapping it around until he fell on top of Stefan with a thud. Stefan gasped for breath and panted as he rolled over and moved Damon to the floor.

"What's happening? What's happening?!" Elena shouted in fear.

The smell of her blood was incredible and he couldn't help but turn and stare at her now healed finger, licking his lips as he saw the blood still smeared on the skin.

"Oh my god!" She cried and kicked him swiftly in the face, sending him onto his back next to Damon.

He grunted, sitting up and she ran. He shook his head, feeling his brain cloud over a little in hunger. He growled spotting the blood which had dripped on the floor and crawled over to lick it. It tasted amazing. He looked to Damon once he'd cleared it from floorboards and tried to remember what was happening. He frowned and crawled over to Damon, lifting him into his lap as he tried to think straight. Damon was hurt, no, he wasn't hurt, he was hungry. No…

He shook his head, growling at the struggle to focus.

Damon was infected.

His eyes sprang open as he came back to himself. He made a sound of fear as he thought on it. How? How could Damon be infected when he hadn't been injected? Stefan had been injected but not him. How was this possible? He made a wailing sound as he realised what this meant. If what the humans had said was true – then Damon was dying and he was infectious – which meant he would be rabid and dangerous to all of them. But Damon had bitten him. Why wasn't he..?

Stefan's blood was full of the contents of that needle. Could Damon have somehow become a carrier too because he'd drank so much from him? He'd fed Damon his blood throughout their captivity – Damon's blood would have changed to be able to carry the virus too. Why had he never thought on that? He'd put it out of his mind in fear. He hadn't told a soul that he'd been injected – hoping that with enough time and human blood he could wash it away, dilute it. It hadn't occurred to him Damon would take it from his blood somehow.

He held him close, weeping as he wondered what was going to happen. He heard a car pull up, skidding across the driveway and doors slamming shut in haste. He didn't know what to do. Was Damon dead? His neck was broken. God, his neck. No, no, they were vampires and you had to stake the heart or remove it. Everything would be fine. What if Damon didn't wake up? What if..?

"Stefan stay down!" It was Caroline and she had a cross bow in her hands.

Beside her Elena was equally armed. Jeremy stood behind looking venomous and dangerous too and behind him Bonnie watched sternly ready for action. Stefan blinked at them all and opened his mouth. All that came out was a sound of distress and Elena frowned in confusion. Caroline kept her gaze straight and didn't flinch. Stefan choked out a sob. They were going to kill them, they had too. They couldn't be allowed to live and infect everyone else. Damon had told them all about the speech from the doctors just prior to their rescue so they knew there had been a plague virus made. Jesse had just been an earlier phase of that – to see whether vampires could be turned to craving only vampire blood, that way, humans wouldn't be infected as they wouldn't matter anymore. He held Damon cradled protectively in his arms and began to sob.

"Stefan?" Elena said in disbelief.

"Elena stay back, it could be a trick." Jeremy warned.

"Look at him. He's not…"

"Neither was Jesse at first." Caroline said calmly.

"He doesn't look feral." Bonnie commented.

"Whoever that is, it's not Stefan anymore. He's proved that. We have no idea who he is." Jeremy spoke coldly.

Stefan looked down at Damon's face as tears fell from his cheeks. Everyone watched and Stefan turned to them.

"Don't hurt him."

"Stefan." Elena stepped forward and Jeremy pulled her back roughly.

"Help us. Please." Stefan begged and Caroline lowered her cross bow, gulping uneasily.

"If they've been infected like Jesse was, there must be a cure somewhere." Bonnie pointed out.

"Where? We practically blew up the lab. How did this happen?" Caroline frowned shaking her head.

"Jagged me, as…we left." Stefan choked. "Damon drank it from my blood."

"We need the professor." Elena said, pulling out her cell.

"And what, compel him to help? He'll be on vervain by now." Caroline pointed out.

"We have to do something!" Elena cried out. "We can't let what happened to Jesse happen to them." She looked at Caroline, knowing that tactic would work.

"Ok, ok. First things first. We need to contain this." Caroline chewed her lip. She gestured her head towards Damon. "Can you control him?" She asked Stefan.

"Yes." Stefan clenched his jaw and Caroline nodded. "We have to chain him."

"Chains won't hold him." Bonnie commented. "Not without vervain."

"We don't have any." Jeremy sighed, chewing his lip.

"I'm sorry Stefan, you'd want me to do this." Caroline gulped before raising the cross bow and shooting Damon in the head.

Stefan screamed and she aimed at him. He raised his hands protectively, shaking in fear. They were his friends, his family! Elena shouted in protest and grabbed Caroline as Stefan's eyes widened.

"We can't take the chance! He's a ripper Elena." Jeremy was saying but Elena jumped in front of Stefan and blocked him from the weapon.

"Not anymore. He's different and he's afraid. He's not going to hurt us." She shouted at them and Stefan gathered Damon to him, weeping as he touched Damon's face, now covered in blood and pieces of his brain.

He knew that Damon wasn't dead, he was a vampire but this was all so new. He couldn't quite get it into his head. He couldn't help the sobs escaping. Would Damon's brain be ok? Would it grow back like his eyes had? Would he still be the same? His cries seemed to ease the tension from the room, but he couldn't focus on anyone but Damon as he tried to wipe the blood from his face and remove the wooden spike. He felt hands on his, gently and he looked up into Elena's large brown eyes.

"It's ok. He's ok, but leave it in for now. Let him sleep." She soothed and there was such love and kindness in her voice that he nodded and stared up at her.

"Stefan can you control yourself because Jesse couldn't?" Caroline asked and Stefan simply nodded at Elena.

"Help us get Damon chained up ok? No one is going to hurt him." Elena said and he nodded.

She backed away slowly and he gathered Damon in his arms, standing up and looking to her as though she was the only person in the room.

"The basement is down there." She urged. "I'm right behind you."

He looked at Caroline and growled.

"Stefan." Elena urged gently and he took a deep breath and headed down the stairs to the basement.

He'd never been down here before. How big did this house get? It was crazy. He stopped unsure where to go and felt Elena's hand on his back guiding him into one of the storage rooms. He lay Damon down gently and touched his face in concern. He kissed his mouth and cupped his face. Was Damon really going to be okay? He wanted to remove the spike piercing Damon's forehead so badly. He touched it again and heard the door behind him closing. He looked behind in panic and saw Jeremy lock it. His heart fluttered in fear.

"Elena!" He called in fear. "Elena!"

She appeared at the window and looked in sadly.

"We'll figure this out Stefan. I promise. Just try and stay calm. Keep him calm."

"Please, I can't leave him like this." Stefan choked and she nodded.

"Please help him, please."

"We will." She assured.

She turned away and Stefan heard them all climb the stairs back up to the house. He was so afraid. This wasn't unlike being locked in the cell at the lab with both of them bloody and in pain. He began to sob again and touched Damon's spike. Every time he tried to remove it more blood poured down Damon's lovely face and he paused. He finally got it out and kissed the wound as it was healing. Damon's blood tasted as he imagined and he couldn't help himself when he began to lick it all from Damon's face hungrily. He was hungry. He bit into Damon's neck as gently as he could and drank. He knew he shouldn't but it was either Damon or Elena. Damon was already infected so he wouldn't get worse if he was a carrier too.

As long as Damon was a carrier.

After feeding he lay beside him and curled into Damon's chest. Maybe if he slept he'd wake up and realise this was a nightmare. He'd wake up and they'd be in Stefan's bed, in his apartment away from here, safe. They'd make love, whisper seductively to each other and build a life together. He fell asleep as he imagined it all. He awoke to growling and sounds of pacing. He groaned in realisation that he hadn't been dreaming at all and looked over to Damon. Damon was hunched and foaming like a rabid dog, waiting for someone to let him out of the cellar. He barely looked human.

"Damon?" He mumbled.

Was this the virus making him like this or was it because he'd been shot through the brain? It was a terrifying metamorphosis.

Damon didn't respond to him, simply growling and sniffing the air. Stefan sat up offering his wrist but Damon ignored him completely. If Damon craved vampire blood now, then why not his? He didn't understand. The virus was supposed to turn Stefan into a ripper, but not kill him so that he could infect all other vampires with his bite. He hadn't bitten Damon, ever. Damon had drunk a lot of blood from him the other night though and his blood had been changing with Stefan's throughout the experiments because he'd had to feed him so much to stop the pain. Now Damon was rabid and possibly dying. Yet Stefan could control himself – why? He stood up and approached him, speaking to him gently and Damon paused and looked at him.

"Are you hungry? Drink me. It's ok." Stefan cooed and Damon frowned and growled. "It's me Damon."

Stefan moved into his space and Damon searched his eyes. He was still very rigid and feral. Stefan reached out to touch his shoulder and Damon pushed him back, snapping his fangs at him. Stefan moved back holding his hands up defensively. Was Damon still in there?

Footsteps sounded in the basement and Damon roared immediately and ran to the door, pounding it with his body as Stefan stood back aghast.

"Stefan are you ok?" Elena called but didn't come near the bars on the window in fear.

"I'm fine. Elena stay away, he's rabid!"

"I know. We have the Professor. We think there's a cure."

"A cure!" Stefan exhaled. "Please Elena, help us!"

"I'm not going to lose either of you Stefan, but we need to get Damon to the lab."

Stefan's heart stopped and he gasped in disbelief. She couldn't be serious – take them back to that place?!

"No!" He shouted in terror.

"I'm sorry but it's the only place we can go. Everything we need is there. He's not cooperating and we have to find his notes."

"We can't go back there!" Stefan pulled at his hair.

"Stefan listen, we won't leave you. They are all dead remember? We got them, but we have to get the equipment there, we have to go if we have any chance of curing you." Caroline spoke too in a direct and firm tone and Stefan dropped to his knees, attracting Damon's attention.

"No, no, no!" Stefan began to weep and Damon approached him, circling him in interest.

"Stefan if I have to put you both down I will." Jeremy warned and Stefan sobbed.

Damon knelt down beside him and sniffed him and Stefan looked up at him. He reached out and touched Damon's face and Damon pulled him into him. Stefan held him in surprise.

"Damon you're still in there." Stefan whispered.

"Stefan? Stefan?" Elena called and peeked through the bars. "Stefan we have to get you to the lab now."

"Ok, ok." Stefan nodded, breathless with tears and the door unlocked.

Damon immediately responded, standing up as Stefan tried to clutch at him. Jeremy entered with his crossbow and Damon growled and sniffed the air. Stefan stood up and held him from behind but Damon didn't make any move to attack. He sniffed and scrutinized Jeremy only.

"He's not interested in you. Just vampire blood." Stefan said and Jeremy nodded.

"Step away Stefan, we need him out."

"No! You're not going to touch him again!" Stefan shouted and pulled Damon backwards, attempting to shield him from more wooden stakes.

"Stefan we have to. He's too dangerous." Elena beseeched and Stefan shook his head.

"How else do you suggest we do this then?" Jeremy asked exasperated and Stefan panted as he tried to think.

He looked around the room, looking for anything that was strong enough to hold Damon but he knew deep down Damon was too strong for mere chains.

"Damon vervained me." He remembered and Jeremy shook his head.

"That was the last of it. We searched everywhere. The mayor has had it all collected."

"I can hold him down."

"Stefan." Elena shook her head sadly and he panted again.

"If we can just get him to the trunk of the car, we'll be able to lock him inside safe. We can leave him in there until we're ready." Stefan suggested.

"We can't lock him in the trunk, he'll punch his way out, besides people will hear him." Caroline remarked and the room went a bit lop-sided for a few seconds as Stefan realised what they needed to do.

He wobbled backwards into Damon and Damon caught him. Damon still seemed mesmerized by Jeremy's scent.

"Stefan!" Elena gasped and he took a deep breath. "Are you ok?"

"No." He groaned and turned to look at Damon apologetically. "I'm not."

He bit into his own wrist and Damon's pupils widened as his hunger returned. He grabbed at him and bit down again to drink. Jeremy took a step forward and Stefan gasped in pain before crying out.

"Quick while he's distracted. The safe. Get the safe!"


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20 TNB

It took a few seconds for Elena to realise that she hadn't misheard him, before she and Caroline both dashed to the room opposite which contained Stefan's crypt of fear. The safe had been discarded in here after Damon's tactics to turn Stefan's humanity back on and it had been forgotten about since. They quickly lifted it together, straining from the weight and Jeremy opened the door to their cell and took it from them. The hunter strength remained even after his return to life.

He lay it down on the ground and Damon pushed Stefan aside as he realised what the intention was. He growled loudly in outrage and went for Jeremy finally. Jeremy didn't blink as he shot him through the stomach. Stefan fretted and grabbed Damon fiercely, trying to protect him and stop him at the same time. Elena tried to enter and Jeremy shouted at her to stay back. Stefan and Jeremy wrestled with Damon, taking hits and bites, but they managed to get him inside the safe. Damon became wilder as he realised what they meant to do and he shouted, almost words. Stefan wept and tried to talk to him, tell him to calm down. Jeremy pulled a gun from his pocket with his spare hand and Stefan threw Jeremy out of the way, into the wall and slammed the lid down on Damon's hands as Damon clawed to get out. He secured it, panting at how ironic it was that he of all people should lock someone in it, especially the man he loved. Inside Damon shouted and pounded on it. Stefan could still hear him despite the thickness of the steal, thanks to Damon's drill holes and he stood back feeling nauseous.

"Stefan!" Damon shouted and Stefan backed away to the wall in horror.

_Oh god, oh god oh god!_

He began to hyperventilate and shake as he tried not to listen to the screams of desperation coming from Damon now.

"Oh god!" He cried, darting forward to let him out when Jeremy took a hold of him tight.

"Stefan. He'll kill Elena." Jeremy said and Stefan looked to her, standing weeping silently in the doorway. "Tell me you can control yourself or I'll have to put you in there with him."

"Stefan…" Elena whispered and he looked to her in torment. "Trust us."

"I don't know you!" Stefan shouted, tearing at his hair.

"Trust me. I will keep him safe." She said and he watched her as he panted.

Damon seemed to calm finally and accept the prison he was in. Why was it Stefan felt he could trust this girl, this girl who'd brought nothing but danger to his door? He could see that she loved them both, clearer now than ever. She stood in front of him when Caroline had been prepared to put him down to keep them all safe. Jeremy was still standing defensively, watching Stefan's every move. He gave a nod and calmed down. He didn't know why or how but he was able to control this hunger. He had to get Damon cared for as quickly as possible, so he had to keep it together.

"Ok." Caroline nodded looking from one to the other. "Let's move him."

They all nodded solemnly and looked to Stefan. He stood up straight and took a deep breath.

"I'm ok. I can control it. If I try and hurt someone, put me in with him." He looked to Jeremy and Jeremy nodded, seeming a little uncomfortable at the prospect of doing that to him.

They barely spoke as they carried the safe to Damon's car and placed the safe in the trunk. Damon pounded on the door but didn't scream anymore, much to Stefan's relief. He stood looking down at the black steel lid as everyone got into their cars. He placed his hand on the lid and leaned close to one of the holes.

"I love you. I'm going to fix everything I promise." He whispered and Damon grunted inside and began to claw at the lid.

Stefan knew what it was like to be trapped in there and he couldn't stand the thought that Damon was suffering, but at least he wasn't in water. That gave him some small relief. He pushed Jeremy out of the way as he tried to climb in the driver's seat.

"No. You have to treat her like a lady." He grunted and Jeremy frowned in confusion but didn't argue, getting in the passenger side.

They didn't speak on the way to Whitmore but Damon was vocal, growling and banging with every bump on the road. It was hell. Finally the gates to Whitmore appeared before them like some magical kingdom of Hades and Stefan started to breathe again. Everything would be ok. They would get help here. They had to follow Elena's car around to the back of the campus, deep into the outbuildings that now served as empty labs. Stefan could feel his lungs tighten the nearer they got to that building. It seemed to loom as they approached – still badly damaged from the explosion.

"Stefan." Jeremy said in concern as Stefan began to hyperventilate. "You ok?"

"Let's just get this over with." Stefan managed to say as he scrambled out of the car for fresh air.

Elena moved to him immediately as she climbed out of hers and touched his arm warmly. He was grateful for her kindness right now. She knew what being here meant for him. Perhaps she did know him after all.

"They're dead." She reminded him of the doctors who'd experimented on them and Stefan closed his eyes tight as he trembled.

"The things they did…" He couldn't finish.

He couldn't tell them the gory details yet, it was still too close to him and he couldn't quite deal with it yet. She rubbed his back and led the way. Caroline was the first in, in her usual air of leadership and organisation. Their human friend had helped to lure the Professor here earlier and Caroline had secured him, letting their human friend go. He couldn't watch. He had still asked for his life to be spared and Caroline had promised that if the Professor cured them, she'd make sure he wasn't killed. She knew how important family was and she wouldn't take his from him, no matter what the Professor's sins were.

Elena helped Stefan inside, supporting him as he wobbled in. The lab where they'd cut Damon had survived the explosion ok. The white walls and sterility of it made Stefan want to vomit and run but he had to get through this for Damon. The Professor was cuffed to what looked like a dentist chair and was breathing harshly as they all entered and glared at him.

"How can you be here?" The Professor looked Stefan up and down. "You're infected."

"Thanks to you." Stefan replied but held onto Elena's hand still, for strength.

The Professor scrutinised him and shook his head.

"Impossible." He commented.

"Why? You have no idea what it's like to be a vampire, how much restraint it takes. Not all of us are soul-less monsters who do nothing but feed." Elena gritted her teeth.

"We are people. We have lives, friends, family…" Caroline joined in.

"You aren't people, you haven't been that for a long time."

"How would you know? You don't know any of us." Elena said angrily. "You don't know what happened to us to make us like this – the heartache, the trauma…"

"I bet it had something to do with him though didn't it? Yeah I know about him. What would your dad say Elena?" The Professor looked at her in disgust. "He didn't raise you to throw your life away for a monster like him."

"Our dad may have hated vampires but he'd never have committed genocide. He'd never have experimented on living people." Jeremy spat, coming up beside Elena as he spoke.

"Jeremy. You're bringing your brother into this craziness now?" The Professor seemed appalled. "What age is he?"

"None of your business dick." Jeremy spat again.

"Where is the cure?" Stefan cut straight to the point and the Professor smirked and looked down at his knees.

"It doesn't exist."

"You're a liar." Stefan clenched his jaw.

"No, actually I'm not. It's been my life's work to create that pathogen. Why would I create a cure for one of the most valuable contributions I could make to the survival of the human race?" He was so calm, so sure of himself and it made them all on edge.

"Because you've created a plague that will kill millions of people!" Caroline argued, taken aback at his lack of empathy.

"Millions of vampires." He corrected.

"It's really that easy for you to separate us in your mind isn't it? Sheep from cattle." Elena shook her head. "Do you know what happened to them both in here? Or did you leave the dirty work to other people?" She challenged.

"You mean the two people you evidently murdered?" He looked around, towards the basement where the evidence of fire was still apparent. "I should have known I'd been compelled to believe there was a chemistry experiment gone wrong here."

"Make us a cure and you won't suffer the same fate." Stefan growled, surprising everyone with his tone.

They had to get down to business. Damon was suffering.

"You can compel me all you want but I won't help you. I've enough vervain in me to outlast your control. You'll be starving soon and you'll do your duty to the cause. I can wait it out."

"What do you mean wait it out?" Caroline asked warily.

"He's the carrier, he was prepped for it. He'll outlive all of you and spread the infection until there's no one left to eat and he'll mummify. Damon on the other hand has probably a day if my calculations are correct."

"He's a carrier too." Stefan gritted his teeth, feeling a little triumphant that Damon's blood had been so changed in their time here too, but the professor just gave him a knowing smile.

"Because you fed him your blood?" He said and Stefan stared him out in surprise. "That won't save him. It might keep him alive a little longer and it obviously has. He should have been dead from your bite already."

"I never bit him. He drank the virus from my blood."

"He wanted your blood though, didn't he? Did he before? I doubt it. We knew what you were up to down there Stefan. We counted on it. We hoped we could have two carriers so we could put you on different continents but we only cultivated enough for one of you to be injected. We figured if he managed to take blood from you in your attempt to bite him, then we could measure his lifespan afterwards. He's lasted about 12 hours longer than I expected."

"He's not going to die. He's fine." Stefan spat.

"Feral?"

No one answered and the Professor nodded.

"Amazing." He mumbled to himself and Stefan lunged for him.

No one could stop him as Stefan knocked him onto the floor on his back. He was handcuffed so meticulously to the chair that he couldn't move an inch. Stefan grabbed his throat and flashed his fangs in anger and Caroline shouted in warning.

"Stefan we need him!"

"Go on, kill me. I knew everything that happened down there Stefan, in fact some of it was my idea."

Stefan growled in outrage and bit into his neck fiercely, interested only in causing severe pain. The Professor shouted in agony and Stefan pulled himself back panting.

"What? Because I crave vampire blood I'm not going to bite humans anymore?! I'm a vampire! I do what the hell I want!" Stefan laughed and the Professor shrank away from him. "Everyone leave us a minute please." Stefan instructed and Elena began to argue. "Please!"

They begrudgingly left and went outside to the cars and Stefan pulled the Professor to sit upright again.

"Why me? Why didn't you cut me?" He demanded and the Professor gasped as blood oozed down his neck slowly.

"Your history."

"What?"

"We knew about you, about your problems with restraint. It made you the better choice to be the carrier."

"Because Stefan was a ripper?" Stefan said, irritated at not having made that connection before.

The Professor frowned at his use of the third person and tensed his hands, desperate to clamp his hand over his neck to stop the blood. Stefan leaned back staring at him and thinking.

"You have no idea who I am." Stefan folded his arms.

"I've read your file."

"So you think that not only am I a ripper and so I have to feed on animals because I can't trust myself, but that I am tortured by my empathy and compassion for all of my wrong doings. That I'm the kind of guy that wouldn't kill you because it wouldn't be ethical."

The professor searched his face.

"That's a whole lot of trust to put in a bio." Stefan commented and circled around him, enjoying the predatory vibe he was emitting.

"You're unusually emotional for one of _them_. We knew if you could kill your own brother you'd kill anyone of them."

"How did you know I didn't hate him anymore? That I didn't think he deserved this after all of his wrong doings?"

"You reacted whenever we hurt him. There's no hiding genuine affection at times like that."

Stefan stopped walking and stood in front of him staring at him with eyes blazing with fire.

"You cut him to test how much I felt for him?"

"Easiest way to measure."

"So, you cut up a living being, without any anaesthesia just to bring us close enough together that you'd know if I was capable of killing without any qualms?"

"Calculated risk."

Stefan kicked him against the wall and toppled him over again in a moment of rage. The human coughed dazed by a blow to the head from the wall and blinked rapidly as Stefan jumped on top of him and growled.

"His eyes. They cut out his eyes! Was that your idea?!" Stefan pulled his arm and dislocated the shoulder with ease and the Professor screamed in pain.

Elena and Caroline burst in the door in fear and Stefan stepped back laughing. Both girls looked to the Professor, assessing him for fatal injury.

"You have no idea." Stefan laughed and walked around the room, touching pieces of equipment idly.

He lifted a scalpel that was lying on a surgical trolley and examined it closely against the light of the room and the Professor tensed.

"No idea." Stefan chuckled again and Elena took a step towards him warily. "You want to know what Damon wouldn't tell you Elena?"

She gulped as he looked to her. She couldn't take her eyes from the scalpel he was holding.

"Damon called the doctor here, Dr Mengele. Do you know why?"

"Dr Mengele?" Caroline frowned as her brain started to process and run through all the data she had accumulated from her studies.

"Imagine the most heinous crimes anyone could ever dream up." He said and Elena swallowed. "Imagine the most atrocious torture and mutilation you can conceive of inflicting on another human being and pour it all into one self righteous man."

"Stefan you're scaring me." Elena whispered.

"_Todesengel,_ they called him in the concentration camps." Stefan mused and Caroline's eyes reflected her horror as she finally clicked as to whom Stefan was referring.

"Angel of death." Caroline whispered.

"He'd perform experiments in the name of science too. In the name of progression of medicines and the glory of the Third Reich." Stefan continued. "He cut peoples organs out while they were alive and screaming too."

"Oh my god." Elena covered her mouth as she realised what he was inferring.

She looked at the Professor in horror.

"Funny really. Damon would have been the better choice as a carrier. He doesn't have much restraint because he doesn't see the need. He does what he wants. He would have killed vampires for you no problem. Me on the other hand – I'm not a ripper. I'm not _your_ ripper and I don't give a damn about empathy and feel guilt over my past because I don't have one."

"Stefan." Now Caroline spoke in warning as Elena blurred and vomited in a sink at the far corner of the room in distress at what Damon had endured.

"I don't give a damn about morality." Stefan stuck out his bottom lip in a very Damon-esque fashion as he mocked the Professor who was now watching wide eyed. "I don't care about doing the right thing and I can control myself. I can control myself so well that I choose who I feed from and infect."

Stefan stood in front of the professor confidently and flicked his wrist towards him, sending the scalpel flying through the gap between them and into the Professor's right eye. Everyone but Stefan screamed. Stefan moved to pull the scalpel out and held it over the Professor's face as he growled.

"I could even be the new Angel of Death if it gets me what I want."

"Help! Help me!" The Professor screamed and Elena sunk to the floor and sobbed, putting her head in her hands as Caroline panicked, unsure what Stefan would do.

"I'm going to start with this eye, and then I'm going to take the other one after that. Shame you're not a vampire. They won't grow back will they? Not without vampire blood to heal you. What a shame I will scare every one of them in a 50 mile radius as far away from you as possible to prevent you getting a drop unless you cure us."

"Never!" The Professor shouted as the pain of his eye wound made him crazed and hysterical.

"Just because I might crave vampire blood more than human now, doesn't mean that it won't give me time to appreciate them. I'll have all the time in the world to kill every single human in this town, in this state, if I am bored because I don't give a shit about anyone but Damon. So if he dies, I might just find myself a new hobby. I might do some experimenting of my own in your honour. Maybe you could teach me? Tell me if I'm cutting them right?"

"You wouldn't!" The Professor cried.

"Stefan Salvatore wouldn't…" Stefan paused and smiled. "But I would."


	21. Chapter 21

Wow, you guys just amaze me with your kind words. If I could reply to each and every one of you I would. Writing keeps me sane and I escape within the world of this genre just as much as some of you have said you do. It's become therapy for me and the fact that it touches the lives of so many of you really makes me feel humble. I am not a professional writer, but hopefully someday an idea will carry me away and I will be able to create something truly my own that affects people like my fanfiction. I'm just a fan girl who's always been fascinated by psychology and trying to understand what makes people who they are. If I can touch people by indulging my own fantasies and using what I observe around me, in people I know, in situations I've experienced and throughout emotions that I'm not sure I truly understand fully – then imagine what all of YOU can do. I am a normal person just like you. YOU are all capable of so much more than you realise. Experiment, try everything, get your hands dirty, scream and shout if you need to, refuse to be beaten down by anyone or anything and find something that makes you happy.

There is no better therapy.

Aside from your reviews that is!:-) xxx

"Life is what happens while you're busy making other plans." – John Lennon.

Chapter 21 TNB

"Please Stefan!" Elena and Caroline both screamed, horrified as he leant in with intention of removing the professor's eye from its socket.

The professor screamed in terror, but Stefan felt unbelievably calm. Everything seemed perfectly logical and simple.

"Stefan this isn't you! You're not a monster!" Caroline shouted and he paused, looking back at her.

"How the hell would you know Blondie?" He spat and Caroline reeled from the verbal attack and looked to Elena.

"Stefan, wait. You trust me don't you? You know I love Damon just as much as you do. You know that." Elena held her hands up defensively as she stood up and approached him.

He scrutinised her carefully.

"You know how much I love him. I don't want him to die. I'll do whatever it takes to save him. You believe me don't you?" She asked and he chewed his lip. "This isn't the way. Damon wouldn't want you to do this."

Stefan gave a chuckle of disbelief.

"You don't know him at all do you?" He said and she blanched. "This is exactly what he would do. He wouldn't even hesitate if it saved you."

Elena swallowed and Caroline looked down at the floor in acknowledgement of that truth. Damon would absolutely do exactly what Stefan was, to get what he needed. Stefan had been learning from a terrible example and now he couldn't be argued with.

"Maybe not, but sometimes he reacts out of emotion and regrets it afterwards, he just doesn't talk about it or admit it." She said and Stefan chuckled again and shook his head. "If he really were some kind of sociopath he wouldn't have struggled so much with his feelings for you. If he really did always take what he wanted, he'd have crossed that bridge with you earlier – wouldn't he?" She asked and that made his smile drop.

"He might not talk about his feelings with people but he has them and he suffers Stefan. He has regrets and so will you." She continued.

"Besides, how is he going to make us a cure if he can't see?" Caroline stepped to her side, gesturing to the trembling human and Stefan's eyes hazed over for a second as he realised they were right.

He let the human go and stood back, clenching the scalpel in his fist.

"You don't deserve not to suffer like he did. I promise you I will make it long and slow if you don't fix him." He warned and bit into his wrist, shoving it to the human's mouth as he cried out in fear. "Drink up dear. Need to heal the eye don't we?"

He pulled his wrist back and licked it clean as the professor's eye healed slowly, making him groan and wince. Elena stepped up behind Stefan and rubbed his back.

"Let us talk to him." She requested and he nodded and backed away.

He walked to the door and turned back to look at the professor pointedly.

"You've got as long as he's breathing and then I'll turn you. Once I've done that I'll bite you so you get to enjoy your work first hand." He gave a menacing smile as the professor's eyes widened and he left, shutting the door behind him.

He stumbled down the steps towards the car, trying to breathe as his legs trembled. He'd had no idea what he was doing there. He'd just tried to imagine what Damon would have done and been strong. The human seemed to be sufficiently scared so it looked like it had worked. Their only problem now was time. He leant against the Camaro as he trembled from the depletion of adrenaline and Jeremy got out of the car.

"You ok?" He asked and Stefan nodded.

"Yeah."

"What happened to you in there?" Jeremy frowned in concern and Stefan shook his head.

"Don't worry kid."

"I know you've lost your memory and all but I've been through a lot of things Stefan. You and I have been through some crazy shit together."

"Really?" Stefan looked at him and shook his head. "You're so young, not that I feel any different. Right now I feel about as old as the time I've spent out in the air."

Jeremy gave a small laugh and leant against the car by his side.

"Funny how age doesn't matter once you've died a few times and had to deal with witches, vampires and spirits." Jeremy gave a smile at how ridiculous it all was and Stefan gave a chuckle.

"Fucking Mystic Falls." Stefan commented and shook his head. "You should leave, run for your life."

"Because life works that way right?"

"Huh?" Stefan looked to him.

"Shit happens. Doesn't matter where you are."

"Oh I don't know. Seems like Mystic Falls is a magnet for this kind of crazy. Your sister included."

"Maybe, but it's the price you pay for having your eyes open. I'd rather know what was out there, what I was up against than live afraid and hiding from the world. You taught me that."

"What?"

"That you can't hide from your problems because they'll follow you wherever you go until the beat you."

"I said that?"

"Yip."

Stefan blew out a breath and looked towards the lab building.

"What a self-righteous asshole." He said and Jeremy began to chuckle.

Stefan began to chuckle too.

"You're not so different. You're still a good guy."

"Maybe, but not the same one."

"You and Damon…are you really...?" Jeremy didn't know what to ask exactly and Stefan looked at him.

"Yeah. Does that disgust you?"

Jeremy frowned and folded his arms as he thought on how to respond.

"I guess I can't imagine being in your shoes. You know, not remembering." He said diplomatically and Stefan relaxed and nodded. "You're really ok? You're not going to go all ripper on us?"

"No." Stefan said calmly.

"How's that possible?"

"I don't know, I'm just not like that. I've never had a problem feeding."

"I wanted to forget for a long time – my parents. I thought if I couldn't remember them, it wouldn't hurt so much that they were dead."

"You don't wish for that anymore?" Stefan raised his eyebrows.

"No." Jeremy smiled in acceptance. "The memories I have of them are part of me. They help me be a better guy. They make me who I am."

"Exactly." Stefan nodded and fell silent, no further explanation of his statement being offered as Jeremy looked to him awaiting a response.

Damon groaned in the trunk and made a pitiful attempt to pound the lid of the safe and Stefan moved to the trunk and lifted the lid, leaning down to place his hand on the steel as though by touching it, he could comfort him.

"I'm here and I love you Damon. Keep calm." He whispered through the holes and Damon groaned again.

It sounded as though he was in pain and Stefan bit his lip in concern.

"Damon can you talk? Can you talk to me?"

"Stefan." Came the groan and Stefan felt his heart skip a beat. "Let me out."

"Soon. I promise. Sleep just now, just sleep and everything will be fine."

"No…" Damon choked and Stefan placed his cheek against the steel and exhaled.

"Pretend I'm with you, in your enormous, ridiculous bed and sleep." Stefan cooed.

Damon's breathing came in small gasps that almost sounded like crying and Stefan closed his eyes tight.

"When we get home, I'm going to look after you. I'm going to melt this thing down!"

Damon fell silent again and Stefan placed a kiss onto the steel. Jeremy looked away, giving them a moment of privacy Stefan was grateful for. Caroline emerged and frowned at the display, holding herself. She couldn't quite understand how two brothers could think they could do this. Stefan needed to get his memory back pronto before something serious happened between them, that they couldn't go back on. She walked over slowly, deliberately walking on the gravel path to alert Stefan to her presence and he straightened up and closed the trunk lid again.

"He's co-operating, but he wasn't lying about a cure. I don't think he did create one, so he's going to have to start now." She said sympathetically.

"How long will that take?" Jeremy frowned in concern and she shrugged and gave a sigh. "How long do we have?"

"Not long." Stefan mumbled, thinking on the Professor's words.

If what he'd said was true, Damon had less than 12 hours until he would be dead if he wasn't a carrier. Stefan sucked in a deep breath and looked to Caroline.

"I need to check if he's a carrier too."

"If you open that trunk you know he'll go for you Stefan and if he bites one of us…" she began, when Jeremy interrupted.

"I'll help you. I'll hold him down by force if I need to."

"Thank you." Stefan said gratefully, opening the lid again and looking down at the lock on the safe. "Damon, it's me. I need to check you ok? I need you not to fight because we are all in danger."

Damon grunted miserably.

"You have to stay in here do you understand? If you don't you could hurt people." Stefan explained and Damon kicked on the lid. "Damon you could kill Elena."

Damon fell silent as Stefan's heart thudded loudly in his ears.

"I'm going to open the safe ok?" Stefan asked and there was further silence.

Caroline retreated a few steps back and looked around to make sure no one was within hearing range and nodded to Stefan. Stefan leant down and opened the safe slowly, creaking the lid up so that he could peek inside. Damon opened his eyes and looked up at him and Stefan gasped and threw the lid open fully as he leant down and touched his face.

"Damon!" He said worriedly as he cupped his cheeks.

Damon was covered in a thin sheen of sweat and had ugly grey veins creeping up the sides of his face. He closed his eyes as Stefan touched him gently and whispered words of love and comfort. Stefan leant down and kissed his lips gently and Damon grunted.

"How do you feel? Describe it." Stefan said hurriedly.

"Hungry." Damon groaned.

"I know, I know." Stefan cooed at him, biting into his wrist and offering it to him. "I know it doesn't taste like you want but it'll help."

Damon accepted the wrist and began to drink as Jeremy came to Stefan's side and looked in. He stepped back, gulping and looked to Caroline who was chewing her bottom lip off. Stefan gave out an anguished sigh and hung his head.

"He's not a carrier, just like that bastard said." He admitted and Caroline nodded, understanding what that meant.

Stefan placed a kiss on Damon forehead and withdrew his wrist. Damon groaned in misery and reached for him.

"I'm going to get you out of here, but please just try and sleep." Stefan sniffled and Damon groaned again, full of emotion. "I love you."

"I don't want to die in here Stefan." Damon whispered and Stefan held back tears as he reassured him that was not going to happen.

He locked the safe again and put his face in his hands. Jeremy touched his shoulder, trying to comfort him.

"Ok, so now we know." Caroline said, snapping to attention. "We need to speed this along, find some other people who can help the professor with this."

"They're dead!" Stefan spat, fighting tears and she blew a breath out through her nose.

"Yeah, but there are others here who could assist even – other students, teachers?"

"Won't they be on vervain?" Jeremy pointed out and she nodded as she thought it through.

"Ok, so no teachers but the students won't be. I met some of the third year Chem students when I was trying to crash study to get into the Professor's class. I could see if they are around." She suggested and Stefan looked to her as he considered it.

"You think they can help?"

"Maybe. At the very least they can be his assistants and leverage in case he tries to trick us." She said and Stefan nodded, his eyes widening at how clever a plan that was.

She nodded and headed off in the direction of one of the faculty buildings. Stefan and Jeremy both entered the building again to find Elena checking through reams of paperwork she had pulled out of every available drawer. The Professor was sitting at a desk trying to write down his equations. He stopped when Stefan entered and looked at him in fear.

"Damon's not a carrier, so the clock's ticking." He said simply, before moving to Elena and trying to help her.

She handed him some notes, but discretely moved a few folders aside. It didn't escape his notice and he reached for them.

"What are these?" He asked and she tried to take them back from him.

"Stefan maybe you shouldn't." She said and he opened the file to see photographs and charts of Damon's anatomy.

He felt bile rise in his mouth and he slammed the files down onto the floor in disgust. He looked over at the professor and Elena touched his arm gently.

"Forget him and help me." Her voice was full of authority and it stopped him going for the human again.

He looked at her and she pointed to a filing cabinet behind her in instruction. He moved to it and began to search through its contents.

After around three hours Caroline had supplied three Chem students whom she'd compelled not to ask questions. The human stakes rising, made the professor nervous and more eager in his work but everything still seemed to be going in slow motion. They were running out of time! Stefan checked on Damon every half hour and became increasingly concerned by Damon's inability to be coherent.

At hour six, the professor thought he had something and they began to cultivate the mixture. The chem students were invaluable and Stefan had pulled Caroline into a fierce hug which had lasted for 5 minutes as he'd given himself over to emotion and gratitude. She was gracious as always and had sat with him, holding his hand as they had waited.

Bonnie had brought her grimoire and began to try to cultivate something of her own. Without her magic she felt powerless and frustrated but not all magic came with chanting and floating things – she had devoted herself to learning earth magic, supplied by herbs and plants thanks to her mom's help and so she began to try everything she could think of to help.

The first few mixtures flopped quickly, leaving Stefan feeling sick and irritated. They all had to be careful. If Stefan lost control he could infect them and kill all of the humans. Stefan refused every suggestion of trying the cures out on Damon forthright. He wouldn't allow anything to touch Damon or enter him that might harm him further so he made himself the test subject for all of their trials.

"Stefan, you can't take much more. We have no idea what this stuff is doing to you." Elena begged as Stefan vomited into a toilet and she rubbed his back.

"No one touches him except me." Stefan panted and drew back to flop against the cold porcelain.

"It's not going to help Damon if you're sick." She pointed out.

"We don't have time!" He snapped and the veins in his face appeared, making her stand back. "I'm hungry." He gritted his teeth at her and she took a step back in fear.

"Stefan!" Jeremy cried out, rushing in and Stefan stood up in alarm at the expression on his face. "I think he's…I…"

"No!" Stefan cried and ran from the room, out of the lab towards the car as he was filled with blind panic. "Damon?! Damon!"

Damon didn't answer and Stefan didn't hesitate as he pulled the safe open. Jeremy, Caroline and Elena followed and stood back as Stefan reached in and pulled Damon from the safe. Damon was limp in his arms and Elena cried out and ran towards them.

"Damon!" She cried and Stefan turned to face her grief stricken.

Damon looked dead, grey and lifeless and Stefan fell to his knees as he held him to him.

"No. He's not dead." Elena shook her head as tears fell from her face. "He's not dead!"

Stefan cupped Damon's face with one hand and called to him but there was no answer. He began to weep helplessly as Elena shouted and begged. Everyone was ashen faced with grief at the display and none of them could move. Jeremy sat down on the steps to the building and put his head in his hands and Caroline just watched, frozen in place. Bonnie came out behind her and stood motionless too.

"No, no!" Elena cried, punching the ground as she sank to her knees too and Stefan cradled Damon's head to his chest and looked up at the night sky.

The stars were bright despite the gloom around him and he paused for a moment as he appreciated them. He'd never stopped to look at them before. The sky was so black, as black as Damon's hair. Elena's cries became a hum as he drowned everything out. Without Damon he would be lost again, drifting. His angel gone. He liked his life now but only as an extension of what he'd dreamed of with Damon at the centre. He didn't want to live forever, it still didn't feel real, possible. All he had planned for was the next fifty years. After that, he had no idea. If Damon was with him and they did live forever and stay young like they were, then the possibilities were endless, but alone? No. He didn't want forever alone. He began to come out of his daze when Elena tried to remove Damon from his arms. He blinked and pulled back at her hands possessively.

He growled at her and hissed with his fangs and she growled back and challenged him, pulling to hold Damon to her.

"Get away from us!" Stefan shouted and immediately everyone moved closer in fear for her.

"Make me!" She growled, her own fangs showing now.

"Elena get away!" Caroline shouted.

"Elena!" Jeremy was up on his feet.

"Bite me." She challenged and he tried to stand and carry Damon away.

She grabbed at him and he hissed again, desperately looking towards her neck as her scent drifted towards him.

"Fine if you won't then I will!" She shouted and bit into her wrist.

His eyes opened wide and he let Damon rest on his knees as he tried to grab her. She had other plans and grabbed Damon from him in a flash shoving her wrist to Damon's mouth, before he had a chance to stop her. Damon's eyes sprang open and he bit into her arm, growling. Everyone screamed and Stefan gasped and sat back while Damon drank. He was alive! Stefan smiled in relief and then he watched her blood trickle from Damon's mouth. He wanted it. He lunged for her too and bit into her neck as Jeremy ran towards them screaming and pulling a weapon from his belt, but it was too late as Elena convulsed and felt her veins fill with the venom pathogen.


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22 TNB

Stefan pulled back in time to see a stake aimed at his heart as Jeremy charged forward and he held his hands up defensively and tossed Elena out of Damon's grip, onto the ground at Jeremy's feet. Jeremy paused in surprise and grabbed her as her body shook and her mouth foamed. Damon was alive and grunting desperately. Stefan held him to him and lifted him as he struggled. He staggered towards the safe and threw him inside, slamming the lid down as he locked it and fell to his knees.

"Oh my god!" Caroline and Bonnie were crying as Bonnie kept Caroline from Elena's grasp.

Elena stopped shaking and took a deep breath, looking up at Jeremy.

"What the hell were you doing? What the hell...?!" Jeremy shouted at her as she panted and retracted her fangs.

"Is she...?" Caroline began.

"Infected." A voice came from behind them.

They all turned to look and saw the professor standing holding a Petri dish in his hand.

"You! This is your fault!" Caroline screamed and Bonnie held her by her arms to calm her.

"Bring her in." The professor said blankly and walked back inside the lab as Jeremy carried Elena through.

As soon as they passed Caroline, Elena growled and tried to grab her, snapping her fangs. Caroline fell back out of reach and began to weep in horror. Elena began to shriek like an animal, but Jeremy held her tight.

"She's so strong!" He exclaimed, struggling to hold her and Bonnie dashed into the lab and moved a surgical table with straps on it over.

They placed Elena on the table as she shouted and foamed at the mouth.

"Break her neck or she'll break free." The professor encouraged and Jeremy shook his head in horror. "If you want her to live you'll do it."

Jeremy exhaled in torment. This was his sister, he couldn't do that to her. Caroline pushed him aside and snapped Elena's neck round with ease and he fell backwards into a surgical trolley as Bonnie placed her hands on Elena's body to check she would stay down.

"So fast, it happened so fast!" Caroline was ranting and Bonnie nodded numbly.

"This is out of control. Don't you see that? In this state they won't discriminate who they kill – just like Stefan said. They'll kill everyone, not just vampires and they'll do it like rabid animals!" Bonnie said looking to the professor.

"Stefan…" Caroline gasped and turned to go outside when Jeremy stopped her.

"No." He said simply as he marched outside.

Stefan was on the ground gasping and looking up at the sky as he approached.

"Stefan." Jeremy's voice was hard, full of tension and anger and Stefan looked to him.

"She knew." He mumbled.

"What?" Jeremy asked, still tight.

"She knew he needed blood. She knew only normal vampire blood would keep him alive a little longer. I've been feeding him, but it wasn't pure. I'm…I'm different."

"Stefan…"

"She knew we wouldn't be able to resist and that we needed more time. She knew we needed another test subject. She tried to convince me…" He trailed off as Jeremy gritted his teeth trying to fight the urge to kill Stefan right there.

"She's my sister."

"I get it now." Stefan looked at him dazed. "I can see why I would have loved her. Why he does."

"She's going to die now." Jeremy's words were clipped and measured as he clenched and unclenched his fists.

"No." Stefan said simply and dragged himself to an upright position. "She's saved us."

"What are you talking about?"

"Time. We've got time." Stefan said as he tried to walk towards the lab again.

Jeremy stood in his way, blocking him and Stefan stopped.

"I need to put you down." He said and Stefan exhaled and rubbed his eyes tiredly.

"Jer." Bonnie called from the steps and they both looked to her. "I think we've found something. We need him."

Jeremy held himself tight as Stefan walked past him and into the lab again. He paused when he saw Elena strapped down. His stomach rolled. Just like he and Damon had been strapped down. Caroline kept her distance from him and looked to the professor.

"Have you got it?" He asked him directly and the professor looked to his human colleagues as they all chewed their lips.

"There's a chance. Without time to test it…"

"There is no time." Stefan growled under his breath. "Inject me."

"It might kill you instead. I have no idea what it will do. We haven't perfected it, ran any trials…"

"One more excuse…just one more." Stefan warned and Bonnie sighed and held herself.

"We've got no choice. Give it to me." Stefan stepped forward, rolling up his sleeve.

The professor nodded and produced a needle. Stefan swallowed and held his breath. Let this one be the one. Please god! The injection didn't hurt but once the needle was removed it felt like he was on fire. He fell to his knees screaming and trying to bat down his body as though the flames were real. Everyone gave him a wide berth in fear, flattening themselves to the walls as he rolled around and thrashed. Slowly, very slowly, the fire receded and he began to calm down and lay his face into the cold marble floor for relief. No one moved. No one dared to breathe.

The professor moved down to him and took his arm. Stefan lay limp and allowed it as the professor took a blood sample from him and went back to his microscope. It seemed like hours ticked past as they all waited and Stefan tried to get himself into a sitting position. He felt horrendous, battered, bruised and weak. The professor sat back in his stool suddenly and everyone snapped to attention, the tension in the room so focused it could burn a whole in the air.

"Well?" Jeremy prompted and the professor turned around to look at them all.

"Congratulations."

"It worked?" Bonnie asked in amazement.

"Congratulations, you've just ruined the best chance we had at ridding the world of vampires forever." The bitterness in his voice was evident as he spoke but it only made them all more elated.

"Wait, we can't know from one trial. There has to be several before we know if it works." Caroline pointed out before her eyes widened and she looked to Elena. "She figured that before I did. She infected herself on purpose so there'd be another test subject."

Jeremy rubbed his eyes tiredly and Bonnie nodded in realisation. Stefan stood up, using the wall for support as he looked to them all.

"Are you saying that it might not work on anyone else?" Jeremy asked, looking from one to the other and Caroline shrugged. "So let's try it."

"No, Damon first." Stefan said and Jeremy huffed in anger.

"The world doesn't revolve around Damon!" Jeremy bellowed and Bonnie put her hand on his arm to calm him.

"No, Stefan's right. We have to test it on someone who's been affected longer and has fed. Elena hasn't fed on anyone yet so her blood may be different from theirs – not as advanced. If it works on Damon, then it should work on her." Caroline explained and looked to the professor who smirked.

"_If_ it works on Damon. He wasn't infected by bite. His blood was already different." The professor stated.

"So was mine." Stefan challenged.

"You were prepared for it specifically. Damon may have drank your blood but his body wasn't as conditioned as yours was for the virus."

Stefan stood upright away from the wall.

"Only one way to know." Stefan said and moved a step closer to the professor who shrank back. "Fill two more needles."

"Why should I when you're going to kill me anyway?"

"I'll kill you quickly." Stefan said and Caroline sighed in exasperation.

"Enough! Enough with the testosterone! You…" She pointed at the professor, "Fill the needles and you…" she turned to Stefan, "Bring Damon in here."

Both of them stared at her in surprise at her feistiness and she glared at them both.

"We seriously need more women in this field." She shook her head as both men went to their duties and Bonnie gave a short chuckle.

"True dat." Bonnie said as Jeremy folded his arms and rolled his eyes.

Caroline clicked back into her usual mode of ordering people around and had Stefan put Damon on the other surgical table. It was traumatic doing so as Damon had become distressed and struggled as they tied him down, with Stefan talking to him and reassuring him that no one was going to hurt him. All Damon felt was fear as he looked up at the ceiling he'd stared at countless times as they cut into his body. He shook and fought and Stefan had to hold him down and hold his face in place so he could look into his eyes.

"It's me. I won't let anyone hurt you."

Damon shook his head and struggled as the professor carried the needle over. Damon's muscles tensed and he cried out in terror. Stefan leaned down to his face and held his cheeks tight.

"Angel, listen to me, angel. I won't leave you."

"I'm not…an ang…ahhh!" Damon screamed as the needle pierced his skin and he thrashed wildly.

They all stepped back as Damon screamed and writhed uncontrollably. Stefan remained, holding him and whispering encouraging words as Damon screamed of fire and pain. Jeremy and Bonnie held each other. They didn't want Elena to feel this too, it was so horrible. After a few minutes Damon sagged and closed his eyes, gasping and Stefan wiped the sweat from his forehead and kissed his face whispering to him.

"It's going to be ok now. The fire's gone. The fire's gone." He cooed and the professor came forward and injected Elena now.

She was still out of it, but her body trembled and jerked to a lesser degree as the mixture flowed through her body and burned away the pathogen. Jeremy held her hand throughout as Bonnie placed a damp cloth on her forehead. They were so thankful she was unconscious. Her shaking was brief before her body melted into the table too.

"Test them." Caroline encouraged, directing the chem students to help, taking blood samples and passing them to the professor to check.

"How's my sister?" Jeremy prompted and the professor moved the small strip of glass around under the microscope searching for traces of the pathogen.

"Gone." He admitted regretfully and everyone sighed in relief.

"Damon?" Stefan posed and the professor put Damon's slide under the microscope and looked through his lens.

He turned the lens a few times and moved the slide around as everyone waited impatiently.

"Well?" Stefan demanded desperately and the professor let out a sigh and placed both hands on the worktop as he took his eye from the microscope.

He sat back and folded his arms around himself and turned around to face them.

"Sorry." He said bluntly, with no such apology in his tone.

"Huh?" Jeremy said.

"His blood isn't responding."

"What do you mean he's not responding? It works!" Stefan gasped and the professor shook his head.

"Not on him."

"How? How?!" Stefan shouted. "Did you give him something else? Did you give us the cure and dose him with something else?" Stefan screamed and Caroline and Jeremy grabbed him, holding him back as he tried to lunge for the human.

The chem students shrank back in fear for their lives.

"Like I said, not everyone responds at this early stage. Tests need to be done, studies…" The professor stated and Stefan panted, looking towards Damon.

"What do we do now, keep looking? Try something else?" Caroline suggested and the professor shook his head.

"He's dying. I'm sorry. By the time we cultivate something else he'll be dead. You saw how long we worked on this one."

"No!" Stefan shouted in rage. "Fix him now!"

"I can't." The professor said simply. "Even if I wanted to. It's too late."

"I'll kill you! I'll kill everyone you've ever met! I'll cut them into little pieces!"

"It still won't save him." The professor stood up calmly and brushed himself down nonchalantly. "So just get it over with already. Let the students go and I won't fight."

Stefan panted and struggled in Jeremy and Caroline's hold.

"Stefan?" Damon whispered and Stefan looked over to him.

Damon reached a hand out towards him and Stefan crumpled and went to him, no longer caring about anything else. Damon cupped the back of his head and pulled Stefan down for a soft kiss. Stefan wept as he drew back and stroked his hands through Damon's hair. Damon was weak and grey again.

"You need to put me back in the safe." Damon advised and Stefan shook his head. "I'm infectious."

"No. I promised you I wouldn't leave you in there."

"Let me go." Damon said and Stefan buried his face in his neck, sobbing. "I'm the worst thing that could have ever happened to you. Even they know that." Damon cooed and Stefan shook his head. "Elena will look after you. She'll teach you things."

Stefan shook his head and wound his arms around Damon's back, lifting him into a sitting position and drawing back.

"I can't give up." He said and Damon wilted and leaned into him, unable to support himself.

"Safe." Damon whispered, groaning. "You have to Stefan."

"No." Stefan held his face in his hands. "Not in the dark, alone."

"Do it!" Damon gritted his teeth and Stefan swallowed. "It's what I want."

Stefan lifted him into his arms as everyone watched full of grief and Damon melted into him like a wet rag. Stefan sobbed all the way to the car and looked up at the approaching dawn in the sky. Damon opened his eyes and looked up at it squinting.

"You've got so much stuff to enjoy." Damon said and Stefan shook his head.

"Not without you."

"Don't be a drama queen." Damon attempted to smirk as Stefan lay him down into the safe.

"No more than you are?" Stefan gave a small smile.

Everyone came out slowly to watch. Stefan looked over to them and saw that Elena was with them now, being supported by Bonnie as she rubbed her neck. He exhaled and closed his eyes as he made his decision. He looked down at Damon as Damon closed his eyes.

"Move over."

"Huh?" Damon grunted and opened his eyes again.

"I said move over." Stefan tried to climb into the safe and Damon stared at him in horror.

"No!"

"Move over god damn you!" Stefan said annoyed and climbed in, moving Damon around him easily with Damon's lack of energy to resist.

"What are you doing Stef?"

"I said I wouldn't leave you and I won't."

"I'm dying Stefan, get out!" Damon protested.

"Then I'll lie here and hold you till you're gone and then I'll wait till I die too."

"You're not going to die you idiot, you're a vampire!"

"Then I'll just…" Stefan stumbled, trying to figure out what would happen to him if he didn't feed. "I'll just sleep."

"Elena!" Damon shouted for her and Stefan grunted in annoyance and curled himself around Damon shaking form. "Get him out of here!"

Elena approached the safe and looked down at them in dismay.

"Get him out!"

"I'm staying in here." Stefan said firmly and the others joined Elena around the trunk.

"Get him out for Christ's sake!" Damon choked as a tear spilled from his eye.

"Stefan…"

"No! This is my life! I don't want it without Damon. I won't do it." Stefan gritted his teeth and Caroline sighed in despair. "I will kill anyone who tries to pull me out of here and you know I will."

"Stefan…" Damon began to croak in grief and Stefan enfolded him in his arms and kissed his neck.

"There's no world without you." Stefan whispered.

"Stefan there's so much you haven't learned, there's so much to remember." Elena stumbled and Stefan looked at her in the eye.

"You would do this for him too." He said and she swallowed and nodded in admittance. "If I change my mind…"

"You'll be stuck in there!" Caroline said and he lay his face back into Damon's neck.

"A week." Jeremy said and everyone looked at him. "We'll come back in a week and if you want out…"

"I won't." Stefan said firmly.

"If you do, I'll let you out." Jeremy said and Elena began to argue with him. "And we can have a proper burial."

Everyone fell silent as Damon nodded in acceptance.

"It's not right to have you in there forever." Jeremy added. "We'll be here afterwards."

"Knew I kept you alive for a reason." Damon smirked, Jeremy chuckled in disbelief and Stefan nodded.

"One week." Elena said and Stefan tightened his hold on Damon and exhaled as she closed the lid down on them both and locked it.

They locked the trunk of the car and slowly moved back towards the building. They all felt numb.

"What do we do now?" Bonnie asked, taking Jeremy's hand.

"Clean this up I guess." Elena mumbled.

"He won't stay in there Elena. He still has you." Caroline comforted, putting her arm around her but Elena shook her head.

"He's not my Stefan. It took me all of this time to see that."

They walked back into the lab solemnly to find the chem students huddled together afraid as the professor sat and waited.

"I'll take care of them. You get everyone home. I'll take the Camaro." Caroline turned to Jeremy.

"Care…" Elena began but Caroline nodded her head.

"You look like you've just been in battle. I got this. I'm going to stay on campus tonight anyway so I'll keep the Camaro hidden and take them home tomorrow." Caroline smiled and Elena nodded. "Get some rest. Call Matt."

"Call me tomorrow." Bonnie hugged her and took Jeremy's hand again and they left, holding each other and headed back to their cars.

"So, where are you going to bury us then?" The professor asked once they had all taken off along the road and Caroline turned to look at him square in the eye.

"No one's going to die."

"Except your friend." The professor smirked.

"He wasn't my friend, but he was a person. A person you've murdered."

"Not as many as you."

"Yeah I've killed someone, but it was when I was new and hungry, confused. I didn't know what I was doing, which is more than I can say for you. You are the real monster here. You knew exactly what would happen to us and you calculated it, planned it. That makes you less human than me." She accused and he blinked.

She blurred over to him and grabbed his throat squeezing as her pupils expanded.

"You're not going to leave this room until I say so. You're going to sit there, shut up and listen to what I have to say." She compelled.

The students began to weep in fear and she let the professor go, coughing and turned to them.

"She bore her fangs at the students and they cried out in fear."

"Just like the rest…" The professor coughed and spluttered as he watched her and she pinned all three students to the wall and widened her pupils.

"No one is going to die here. This is all a nightmare. There were no experiments or vampires or plague. All you will remember is that you got loaded last night and stoned on some methane gas you were extracting in the lab. You're going to go back to your dorm and sleep it off. You're not going to mention it to anyone, not even each other, you're so embarrassed about it."

She stepped back from them and they all immediately looked stoned and tired.

"Hey Robin, late night last night?" She smiled and one of them students smiled and rubbed his eyes as they all grabbed their jackets.

"Caroline right? Yeah man, I gotta head home."

"Me too, I'm wasted." Another said and she stepped aside as they walked past her.

"See you in bio!" She chirped happily and they waved goodbye as they left the building, dragging their limbs back to the dorms.

"Why did you let them go?" The professor asked stupefied.

"Why wouldn't I? Oh yeah because I'm a vampire right? I don't have a soul. All I want to do is kill people." She folded her arms. "Wrong."

"So what are you going to do now?"

"Now, I think…" She clicked her tongue and smiled to herself. "I think it's time you had a change in vocation."


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23 TNB

It wasn't long before Stefan realised just what a big decision he had made. As Damon shivered next to him and grunted, the blackness of the safe hit Stefan hard. He turned onto his side and pressed himself around Damon for comfort.

"Shouldn't…have gotten in here." Damon stuttered and Stefan buried his face into the back of Damon's neck. "Ste….fan. Call for them."

Stefan shook his head and said nothing. Damon slowly turned, forcing Stefan to roll onto his back again as Damon turned onto his side to face him. Stefan couldn't see his face. It was so dark, he had to reach out and touch him. His skin was so clammy and cold as Stefan traced the shape of his nose and cheekbones.

"Stefan, what if there's water?"

Stefan paused in disbelief.

"Why would you say that to me?" He demanded, hurt.

"What if Jeremy leaves you in here, in the dark. Outside, it could rain…"

"Stop it, I know what you're doing!" Stefan snapped out as his heart began to race. "Please."

"You…could..drown…" Damon exhaled in pain and Stefan began to pant and reach out to the sides of the safe, feeling for an escape as fear began to fill him. "You will drown."

"No! Damon please don't!" Stefan cried out as he began to search for the lid and hyperventilate.

Why was Damon taunting? Why would he say these things? Stefan began to pound on the lid and claw at the steel, like he'd done countless times before and Damon lay and let him. Stefan punched the steel hard and split his knuckles open. Damon inhaled sharply at the aroma of the blood and Stefan was roused from his mounting hysteria. He sucked in a deep breath and calmed himself.

"You're not going to win that way." He panted. "You're not going to scare me enough to get me to shout to be let out of here. I'm staying with you."

"What if you drown, over and over…"

"Stop it!" Stefan lashed out and made contact with Damon's jaw.

Damon groaned and fell onto his back beside him, surrendering. His taunts were all the energy he had left.

"Damon…" Stefan reached for him, pulling him into him as he apologised and traced his lips so he could lean over and kiss him.

Damon responded, relinquishing his control as he held onto Stefan desperately, full of emotion. They kissed deeply in between sobbing as Damon tired and had to drop his arms. Stefan held him like a doll.

"Don't be scared." He whispered and Damon sighed.

"I'm fine."

Stefan began to chuckle almost hysterically at the ridiculousness of Damon's comment. He squinted in the dark, trying to see Damon's eyes, so blue.

"We would have been great." Stefan stroked his cheek lightly, hooking his arm underneath him to hold him close and Damon gave a brief nod. "We would have been happy."

"Not in that cupboard you call an apartment." Damon grunted.

"Not in your palace either. We would have had our place, our bed, our life."

"You sound like a girl."

Stefan gave a short chuckle and closed his eyes as tears escaped. Damon trembled in a moment of pain and Stefan stroked through his hair.

"Does it hurt really bad?"

"No it feels like I'm being kissed by butterflies." Damon groaned sarcastically and Stefan fell silent. "I love you Stefan."

"I love you too." Stefan sighed and kissed his mouth again. "Don't leave me."

Damon sighed and lay his face in at Stefan's neck. They fell silent as the hum of the Camaro's engine began. Strange that it actually felt comforting. The safe vibrated with the movement and Stefan found comfort in the fact that there was no water outside, just life. He sighed and Damon slung his arm over his chest. He rolled him on top of him and stroked the back of Damon's head as Damon lay his face into his chest, pressing his lips to the fabric and inhaling Stefan's scent. Stefan began to weep silently, tears spilling down his face and tickling him in their descent to his neck. Damon's breathing got quieter so Stefan held him tight in his arms and tried to keep him talking.

"The first time we made love was so perfect. It was everything I imagined it would be. I wanted to spend time getting it right, seeing what you liked, learning it. I wanted to steal you and have you in bed all day so I could touch every piece of your skin." Stefan confessed as he stroked Damon's back. "You've got such lovely skin. It's so soft. I wanted to taste it. I wanted to make you happy."

"You did." Damon whispered, his lips moistening the fabric on Stefan's chest as he spoke.

"I wanted to take my time, I just, I just wanted you so badly. I'm sorry I rushed you."

"Hmmn." Damon mumbled. "It's just as well you did or we wouldn't have."

"What will happen to me?"

"You'll be ok. Elena will take care of you."

"No, I mean…if I don't feed." Stefan asked nervously and Damon exhaled and tried to lift his head to look at him.

"You will."

"No. I was born in this place. I'll die here too, as long as I'm with you I don't care about out there."

"I'm going to be a dried up mess of bones soon Stefan." Damon's voice broke as he spoke. "I don't want you to see me like that."

"But I can't leave you."

"Stefan this isn't some Shakespearian love story." Damon said pained. "Everything dies."

He leaned up to Stefan's mouth and kissed him soothingly as Stefan sniffled.

"I had you and it was the happiest I've ever been. I'm good." Damon said and Stefan pulled Damon's face into his neck and held him tight.

They sobbed against each other until they fell asleep exhausted. There was no concept of time in the darkness, so Stefan wasn't sure at first where he was or what was happening when he awoke and opened his eyes feeling blind immediately when he couldn't see. He gasped and tried to move his arms in front of his face when he realised that Damon was on top of him. Then he remembered and held him in a squeeze, whispering his name. Damon didn't respond and Stefan rolled him over and touched him, trying to shake some consciousness into him.

"Damon, please don't be gone. I'm not ready yet! Please!" He wept, bumping his head as he tried to sit up.

Damon stirred a little and Stefan felt it. He exhaled and reached for his face. That was perhaps the worst thing about all of this. He couldn't see Damon's beautiful face, even for the last time. He traced his fingers around his features trying to memorize everything and Damon's fangs descended. He pulled back in surprise and reached out to touch them. They were so sharp. He hadn't spent a lot of time looking at his own fangs. They freaked him out a little truth be told. He ran his thumb under one and pierced his flesh there, making Damon immediately twitch. Blood seemed to keep him going a little longer.

"Damon drink from me." Stefan said and Damon made a very hoarse sound of hunger.

Stefan pulled at him, dragging him on top of him again as much as the space would allow, bringing him back into his neck. Damon groaned in abject misery.

"Feed. It'll help the pain." Stefan knew he was being selfish.

This wasn't as much for Damon's benefit as he made out. Feeding would reduce the pain but would lengthen Damon's suffering because it would keep him going, but Stefan just couldn't let him go just yet. He just couldn't let go.

"Please…" Stefan croaked and Damon opened his mouth and bit down weakly.

Stefan tilted his neck to help in the effort and Damon suckled. Stefan could barely feel the sucking – nothing like Damon had done to him the time he'd fed on him before. This was so light, Stefan barely felt it, which worried him. Damon exhaled, dripping blood down Stefan's neck. He was so exhausted, even feeding was too much work. Stefan rolled them over again and bit into his wrist instead, placing it over Damon's lips. Damon opened his mouth and flicked his tongue out to catch stray drops. Stefan felt weaker quickly as his blood flowed into Damon, but he realised this was a good thing. The weaker he felt, the quicker he would expire too.

"If I dry out, I'll be as good as dead too. I'll fall asleep and never wake up. I'll come with you." Stefan whispered, sounding unhinged and Damon grunted, frowning at his words as he held Stefan's wrist fully to his mouth and bit into it now that he felt more alert.

"Yes, yes…" Stefan smiled to himself as he felt his body respond to the blood sharing. "Take it all."

Damon pushed him back to separate them and Stefan fell onto his back again. It felt like all they were doing was rolling backwards and forward together. Damon panted heavily and climbed on top of him again, licking at his neck and biting down as Stefan whimpered in pleasure and whispered encouragement. Stefan was erect in his jeans but Damon couldn't focus on anything but the blood as he filled his belly. He drew back when he felt full and lay his head on Stefan's chest again as he breathed. Stefan was so warm and comfortable to lie on. Damon closed his eyes, feeling peaceful.

Who knew how much time passed as they lay there. The Camaro engine vibrated again around them and it roused them both. The darkness of the safe began to feel comfortable, almost like a cocoon with Damon with him and Stefan found the lack of sight easier to handle. Damon was still breathing and cuddled into him and it felt right and good.

"Stefan." Damon whispered, blowing warm breath against Stefan's skin.

"Hmmn?"

"I don't want to die."

"Then don't." Stefan held him.

"I have to. I have to go." Damon sounded drunk.

"Stay with me just a little longer." Stefan croaked. "Drink from me."

"It hurts more." Damon complained and Stefan swallowed hard.

"Ok." Stefan surrendered. "Sleep, Damon angel. Let go."

Damon melted into him as though he'd been waiting for permission and Stefan closed his eyes and tried to relax. Damon was in pain, he was so tired. He had to let him go finally. It was what you did for people you loved when they couldn't fight any longer.

"Wait for me." He whispered into Damon's hair, stroking his fingers through it and Damon sagged against him.

It seemed final, like the last movement in his body. As though his soul was escaping the flesh and Stefan looked up into the blackness and imagined he could see the stars and the moon as it had shone on the water that first time they'd made love. Even though this was the end of their story, he didn't regret anything. They'd had some true happiness in those moments and he never wanted to forget them. Jeremy's words rang true after all – memories made you whole, they made you who you were, good or bad and Stefan wouldn't surrender them into the ether for the world. He'd hold onto them until his dying breath – which he hoped wouldn't be too far away now.

A day passed and Damon never moved. He was gone. It was hard not to feel the unbearable lonelyness that threatened to consume him, so he held onto Damon's body for comfort and spoke to him as though he was simply dreaming. He talked of his music, his life outside of Mystic Falls and how much he'd lived in the short time he'd been free. No one was here to listen to him anymore, but still the words felt like they needed to be said so he let them tumble. On the second day Damon felt colder, stiffer, so Stefan had had to roll them onto their sides. He wrapped his arms around the body, touching him at all times in the silence. When did silence get so loud it drowned out your own thoughts?

On the day after Stefan began to feel so depressed he couldn't stop sobbing. Time passed so slowly when you were conscious and he couldn't stand it. He began to bite into his wrists so he would bleed out. He wanted not to be here anymore. He tried to rip his own heart out but the pain made him falter and he just couldn't do it. His body still healed too fast and so it took ripping his wrists open repeatedly before he began to feel the effects of blood loss. He'd bled so much out that Damon was soaked in it, having lain beside him for some days now dead. The smell of blood filled the space and made Stefan feel sick.

His heart began to slow and he focussed on it, willing it to. As though by being more attentive to it, he could control the beat with his mind. He knew he didn't have long to go though, his body had started to shut down bit by bit and he was glad and happy. Strange to feel happy about death but it was where he desperately wanted to be now. He wanted to go where Damon had gone, to see him again. It was the only thought that held him together as he closed his eyes and fell into unconsciousness.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Hey, how are you doing?" Jeremy wrapped a blanket around Elena's shoulders and she opened her mouth to remind him that vampires didn't feel the cold.

She stopped herself and smiled instead, happy to have something to snuggle into as she watched the fire crackle in the hearth. She'd been staying here with Jeremy since they'd come back from Whitmore. Knowing that Stefan was alive and locked in a box with a corpse had kept her wanting to be close by in case he cried out to be released, but he never did. It was like Jeremy had been standing on guard too, never leaving the boarding house and checking on the safe every day – sitting by it as the hours ticked away.

"Have you heard anything?" She asked him and he shook his head.

"I'm going to open it today." He advised. "I promised Damon."

She nodded and wrapped herself in the blanket as though it was a shield.

"I'm going to help."

"You might not want to see this Elena. Damon's going to be…" Jeremy ran out of words and she swallowed painfully and nodded.

"I should be there."

"Ok." He agreed regrettably.

He stood up and she looked up at him, eyes wide.

"Now?"

"Let's get this over with. We all need to move on. Stefan needs to move on." Jeremy said and helped her to her feet. "You can help him, just like Damon wanted."

They walked down to the basement where they'd placed the safe, safe from prying eyes and stopped before it. Elena could smell blood from the holes in the steel and she twitched her nose. The blood was old. Jeremy squeezed her hand and began to unlock it. He stood up and looked to her, taking a deep breath as he pulled the lid open, creaking it loudly in the attempt.

He stood back and let it air of the scent of blood and death and Elena stepped forward holding herself. They were curled into each other, covered in blood. They looked sort of peaceful in a macabre way. She tucked her hair behind her ears nervously.

"Stefan?" Her voice croaked as she tried to speak.

She knew a week wasn't long enough to drain and mummify a vampire completely. He'd just be very weak and out of it.

"Stefan it's Elena." She said gently, leaning down to touch him when she stopped and looked at Damon.

She covered her mouth with her hand and choked out a sob as she reached over and stroked his hair. They were oddly still so beautiful – the loves of her life. She placed a kiss onto Damon's forehead and pulled back to reach for Stefan when Damon opened his eyes. She pulled back in shock and gasped.

"Damon?" Jeremy gasped, coming forward to stand beside Elena and Damon blinked and frowned, trying to move.

"You're alive! You're alive?" She could barely speak and Damon exhaled and tried to figure out where he was.

He reached over to Stefan, lifting his arm to do so and paused when he saw how saturated his clothes were in blood. His eyes widened and he looked to Stefan in shock. He was too weak to get up though, although he tried.

"Stef…" He croaked as though his vocal chords had never been used.

His attempt to move sprang both Elena and Jeremy into action and Jeremy moved to help Damon from the safe, despite his growls to leave him alone. Jeremy lifted him into his arms and removed him for the safe while Elena tried to rouse Stefan. He was out but still alive and she lifted him easily from the safe and lay him on the floor next to where Jeremy had lain Damon. Damon managed to sit up and reached for Stefan as Elena stood back speechless.

"How is this...how can you be?" She tried to speak and Jeremy shook his head even though she wasn't asking him.

Damon looked up at them, squinting as he tried to focus.

"Where am I?"

"You're home. In the basement." Jeremy answered.

"Why am I here?" He whined almost like a child and they both looked to each other in confusion. "Why here?" Damon looked down at Stefan and shivered. "I should have known it'd be like this."

"What are you talking about?" Elena got down on her knees to try and understand.

"When is the doctor coming?"

"What?"

"Doctor." He repeated annoyed. "He can cut me up all he likes. It won't hurt anymore."

Elena shook her head and Jeremy retreated in search of blood bags.

"You're home you're safe Damon." She assured and Damon blinked at her.

"She'll look after him. The real one."

"Who?"

"Elena." He answered and she reached out for him, touching his arm but he flinched.

"Damon, it's me."

"Go to hell, demon lady!" He shouted and she moved back, feeling teary and frustrated.

"You think you're dead?" She guessed. "You think being in the basement with me and Stefan would be your hell?"

"He's dead." He gritted. "And you're here to torture me."

"No."

"Piss off and leave me to rot!"

She slapped him hard across the face and he blanched, panting in surprise.

"You wouldn't get off that easy you wanker! Think it through!" She snapped and he stared at her in surprise. "After everything you've done? Right now you're half way between life and hell because unless you snap out of it _I _will kill you." She said with force and he panted and stared at her still.

"Elena?" He whispered and she sat back on her heels and nodded. "Elena?" He asked again and she moved to him and pulled him into her arms.

He sagged and repeated her name a few more times as he smelled her hair, touched her face, lay his head into her neck as she cooed and stroked his back.

"I thought…" He mumbled and then pulled back from her, looking towards Stefan.

"Stefan!" He gasped and Jeremy walked into holding blood bags in his arms.

"Got it!" He said and tossed one to Damon who took it and stared at it as though he couldn't believe he wasn't dreaming.

Jeremy lifted Stefan onto his knees and poured a blood bag into his mouth slowly. Stefan roused quickly, moaning and reaching for the bag as he fed and Damon watched him. Elena urged Damon to drink too and he did so, robotically as he watched Stefan's every movement. Stefan opened his eyes and looked up at Jeremy.

"Hey, bit dramatic don't you think?" Jeremy teased as he lifted the hem of Stefan blood soaked shirt and Stefan frowned in disbelief that he was still alive.

He opened his mouth to whimper in grief when he realised they weren't alone. He turned his head and looked towards Damon, dropping his blood bag as Damon stared back at him. He made a gargling sound as he tried to get his vocal chords to work and Damon crawled over to him, looking at him as though he was the only thing in the universe.

Jeremy helped Stefan sit up and guided him into Damon's arms as they reached for each other. Neither of them had words, they just clung to each other, breathing and healing as the blood began to restore them. They pulled back to look at each other and touched each other's faces, tracing every line, every curve. How was this possible? How? Damon was dead.

Stefan frowned as tears filled his eyes and Damon kissed his mouth. Stefan felt his whole body flush with emotion and he poured himself into the kiss, forgetting about the rest of the world completely as their tongues stroked against each other and their lips caressed desperately. They kissed until Stefan began to lose his balance from lethargy and Damon held him to steady him. Damon turned to look towards Elena and saw that she and Jeremy had gotten to their feet and were closing the safe, their backs turned to give them privacy.

"Elena. Help us." He said and she turned back to see Damon trying to stand.

She went to them and helped them both up, supporting them on either side as Jeremy grabbed the other unopened blood bags and moved from the room, heading upstairs.

"I don't want to sleep." Stefan grumbled and Damon chuckled and soldiered on as his legs wobbled. "Where are we going?"

"My bed." Damon answered and Stefan fell silent as they made their way through the lounge and up the stairs.

Jeremy sheepishly placed the blood bags down on Damon's bed and left them to it as Elena went to run a bath for them. They lay on the bed and relaxed, sinking into the mattress. Stefan crawled on top of Damon and looked down at his face.

"You died. For days you were gone."

"No. I was just, lost somewhere. I thought I was in hell."

"Maybe you were."

"I don't believe in that stuff." Damon gave a weak smirk and Stefan smiled.

"You're alive." Stefan said in wonder. "How? Am I dreaming?"

"I doubt Elena packs that much of a punch in your dreams Stef." Damon rubbed his face where she'd struck him and Stefan raised his eyebrows.

"I don't understand how…"

"Stefan." Elena spoke gently and he turned to look at her as she stepped out of the bathroom. "It doesn't matter how. He's here. Just, let it be."

Stefan gave a small nod of contemplation and she came towards him, helping him up.

"Take all of the time you need. I'll go to Matt's with Jer. If you need anything call me." She said to both of them, before leaving.

They looked to each other speechless.


	24. Chapter 24

Sorry for the delay guys;-)

Chapter 24 TNB

Minutes went past as they stared at each other, listening to the sounds of the water running and Elena and Jeremy clearing out and driving away. Stefan knew he should be jumping up and down in happiness. Damon was alive and they were free to live their lives again. So why didn't it feel real? Why did he feel numb?

Damon looked to him and frowned a little.

"You ok?" He asked and Stefan nodded silently and swayed a little on his legs.

Damon was up in a flash and caught him as his knees gave in.

"Stefan?" Damon lifted him into his arms in concern and carried him over to the bed again, laying him down and stroking his face, checking him for illness or any traces of the plague.

Stefan held his hand to his face and stared up at him.

"Are you really here?" He whispered and Damon frowned again. "You died."

"Obviously I didn't. I'm here." Damon reassured.

"But I thought you'd died." Stefan felt his resolve weaken and he let a sound of pain escape.

Damon climbed onto the bed beside him and held him in his arms and Stefan buried his face in Damon's chest. Damon said nothing. He didn't have an explanation. As far as he was concerned, he had died and had been in hell but then, he wasn't. He cradled Stefan to him, forgetting about the state of their clothing as he gave Stefan the comfort he needed. Stefan grabbed a fist full of his shirt and wrinkled his nose at the dried blood covering Damon's clothes. He looked up at him in repentance and Damon kissed his forehead.

"Drama queen." Damon mumbled with some humour in his tone and Stefan gave a small smile and began to undo Damon's shirt.

He wanted the gore of their time in the safe, free of Damon's skin. Damon let him undress him slowly, enjoying how much Stefan wanted to. Stefan peeled his clothes from him in distaste at the scent and threw them to the floor. Damon lay naked underneath him and although normally he would become aroused, all Stefan could think of was wanting to care for him. He leaned down and kissed Damon's mouth, curling his jet black hair in his fingers as Damon breathed into his mouth in relaxation and joy.

Stefan pulled him slowly from the bed and towards the bath tub, urging Damon in. Damon took up his usual place in the bath and relaxed as the warm water embraced him. He loved this bath tub. Stefan came to his side and lifted a loofa to wash him.

"Aren't you getting in?" Damon asked and Stefan shook his head.

"I want to look after you first. I promised I would." Stefan said and Damon huffed in surprise. "I'd do anything for you."

"Then get in." Damon urged. "I want to touch you."

Stefan blushed and hesitated, but Damon sat up fully and beckoned to him to climb in. Stefan stripped his bloodied clothing and stepped in, intending to go to the opposite side of the bath but Damon had other plans and pulled him backwards and into his chest. Stefan didn't resist and lay his head back against Damon's shoulder as Damon wound his limbs around him securely and kissed the side of his head.

They relaxed for a few minutes, neither feeling the need to talk and Damon washed over both of their bodies gently, removing the evidence of their entrapment as Stefan closed his eyes and turned his face into Damon's neck.

"This feels so normal." Stefan whispered, kissing Damon's neck and Damon chuckled.

"How would you know?"

"I guess I don't." Stefan admitted.

"Nothing normal here Stef. I just came back from the dead and I'm bathing someone who used to be my brother with the intention of sodimising him all night."

Stefan's body responded to the comment and he turned over into Damon's lap, kissing him until Damon dropped his arms and gave up his attempt to clean them in order to respond to the kissing. Damon slid his hands up Stefan's sides, feeling every rib, every curve of flesh as Stefan kissed him. Strange how he'd never thought a man's body could be attractive until Stefan. Stefan was becoming more aroused the longer they kissed and Damon broke them apart to rest their foreheads together.

"Let me take care of us first and then I'm yours." He advised and Stefan nodded and turned back around again to let Damon wash his back.

Damon's hands began to shake at the prospect of what was to follow. He wanted tonight to be perfect. He was good at sex – a master, but this wasn't about showing off or using his moves. Stefan had been in control both times they'd made love and he wanted to take care of Stefan tonight. He'd only had sex with a man twice and he just hoped he could control himself enough to be gentle right now. His body still felt strange from the plague. His limbs were stiffer than normal. It had taken most of his control not to fall over with Stefan in his arms when he'd caught him earlier. He wasn't sure what was wrong, but he knew that he was far from back to normal. Maybe it would just take time. As he pondered on it all, Stefan drifted off to sleep amidst his gentle touches and sighed peacefully.

Damon kissed his head and made him a silent vow to make sure that Stefan would be looked after. He wanted to protect him, care for him and love him like he deserved. When he'd been in that safe alone, he'd been so confused and terrified. The hunger had ruled his brain and it had been impossible to fight it. Stefan had filled his mind mostly and when he realised that he was dying, all he could think about was how little time they'd had together. Really, they'd only had a couple of nights of happiness and it wasn't enough. He wanted more, a lot more and he thought that he'd missed his chance. Now that they were alive and free of disease, he intended to use the time wisely.

He finished cleaning them off and wrapped his arms around Stefan's waist, sitting them forward. Stefan didn't waken as they moved and Damon smiled at that. He carefully lifted him out of the bath tub and walked them through to the bedroom again, laying Stefan onto the bottom of the bed and retrieving a towel for him. As he approached his sleeping form and began to pat him dry gently enough so as to avoid waking him, he thought back on the last time he'd done this the night he'd brought Stefan home from the lake. He'd thought he was bringing his brother home, but in fact he was bringing home a new person who would fill his heart full of life and love again. This person who was so changed from who he'd been that Damon had risked everything he had to be with him, despite the repercussions of their genetics. He was insane and he knew it, but he couldn't deny that he wanted him. He wanted the kind of life that Stefan painted for him in his imagination.

When Stefan was dry, he dried himself and lifted Stefan into the bed, pulling the covers around him as he climbed in beside him. Stefan was so innocent, so unaware of so many dangers. The mere fact that he could sleep through being touched like this was reason enough for Damon to feel protective. He curled himself around him and kissed the back of his neck, stroking down Stefan's abdomen gently, feeling all of the hairs leading down to his manhood. Stefan sighed deeply and Damon suppressed a chuckle and withdrew his hand up to Stefan's waist when he felt a sharp pain in his arm. He pulled his hand back and looked at it in surprise. There was a strange discolouration to his skin for a second and then it was gone.

"What the..?" He mumbled to himself as he watched his skin return to normal.

A feeling of dread crept over him as he wondered on what it could be. Was he still infected? Was he dangerous? Was he still dying? He just didn't know. He held Stefan tight and buried his face back into Stefan's neck. Surely life couldn't be so cruel as to bring him back and then take his life away again. Surely not.

Stefan tossed and turned as Damon fell into a deep sleep, fraught with worries. Stefan's dreams were full of darkness and death and the presence of a dead body beside him, always dead and unmoving while he remained alive. He began to pant and kick at the covers, believing them to be water preventing his movements with their weight, when Damon touched his shoulder and spoke to him gently. He cried out and almost fell out of the bed in a heap at the contact and Damon held him and cooed to him.

"It's ok, I got you." Damon whispered and Stefan grabbed onto him and shivered as he placed his face in at Damon's neck.

As he focussed all of his energy on the soft skin there, he felt a heartbeat and he drew back in surprise. Damon looked to him in question and Stefan placed a hand over his own heart and waited.

"What's wrong?"

"Our hearts still beat."

"Yeah." Damon frowned not understanding. "Of course they do. How else do you think this happens?"

Damon demonstrated to his morning erection and Stefan gazed at him in wonder, before frowning in grief and exhaling. Damon shook his head confused by his behaviour.

"It never occurred to me. I never checked you. I just assumed you were dead, when all that time you weren't."

"It's ok Stefan, I'm ok."

"I'm not!" Stefan began to weep into his hands and Damon exhaled and sat back a little frustrated.

He didn't know what to say. He was crap at dealing with emotions like this.

"I'm sorry." He said, unsure if that was the right thing to say and Stefan lowered his hands and dried his eyes. "Stefan I don't know what you're feeling. I'm no good at this."

Stefan gave a watery smile and pulled him into him again and Damon pulled him into his lap and kissed his shoulder.

"I'm scared you idiot."

"What of?"

"That you're going to disappear and I'll never know for sure whether you'll be gone forever."

"I'm a vampire not a magician Stefan. When I'm dead I'll stay dead, but that's not going to happen, ok?"

"I need to know what's happening. I have to know." Stefan pulled back and looked at him and Damon chewed his lip. "I need to know so that I don't wake up wondering if you're going to be dead when I do."

Damon stroked his tear stained cheeks. Truth was he wanted to know how this was possible too, but the professor was dead and so there was no way to find out. As far as Damon was concerned, dealing with the fact that he'd almost died was terrifying enough and he just wanted to put it behind them and move on. He could see from Stefan's desperation that that wasn't going to happen. He hung his head and sighed.

"Please." Stefan pleaded and Damon nodded.

"Fine."

"I'll call Elena." Stefan got up out of his lap and climbed from the bed, looking for clean clothes and his cell phone as Damon watched in trepidation.

"So much for romance. And here I thought we might actually have some alone time finally." Damon mumbled to himself.

Stefan paused and looked at him in sympathy.

"I want you all to myself, I always have but I can't be afraid anymore. Not with you. You're everything and your mine now. I can't risk not knowing." Stefan explained, pulling a pair of Damon's jeans on and Damon lay back down defeated and pulled the blankets over his head sulking.

Stefan felt guilt blossom in his chest but this would gnaw at him, so he dragged himself from the room and left Damon to get up and dressed as he went to feed and call Elena. Damon got out of the bed, sighing and opened his dresser, pulling out some clothes. He felt annoyed and uneasy. Not the emotions he was expecting after having the opportunity to live and love again. Stefan was still so new to everything. So emotional. Stefan had always been emotional. He pulled his clothes on, promising his reflection that he'd have Stefan tonight and make love till next week. He didn't want to waste any more time. If they were going to do this, they would do it fully and right. He sighed heavily and walked down the stairs to meet a sheepish Stefan waiting for him.

"What's wrong?" He asked.

"Are you angry?" Stefan looked so nervous.

"Of course not, I'm just…I just wanted it to be us for a while." He confessed.

"It will be, once I know you're ok." Stefan moved into his arms and stroked through the hair at Damon's temple. "Just give me this."

"Fine." Damon gave a small smile.

They sat in the lounge, kissing softly as Stefan draped himself on top of Damon's chest and watched the fire they started to burn. It wasn't so bad, taking it this slow after all that was what Damon had wanted to do wasn't it? He wanted to court Stefan before this had all happened and now here was his chance to. Still, he felt the ticking of time like he'd never done before and it made him twitchy and tense.

"Elena's not going to know what happened any more than we do you know. I don't see the point in this." Damon intertwined their fingers. "There are so many other things I'd rather we were doing right now."

"You don't have to hide with me. Don't shut your feelings away. Talk to me." Stefan said to him and Damon paused surprised.

"Uh, ok. Where did that come from?"

"You must feel as scared as I am right now. Don't worry about it. Talk to me." Stefan urged and Damon tensed.

"I'm fine. I thought I was going to die and I was scared sure, but I didn't and now we're home. Why would I want to dwell on it?" Damon said dismissively and Stefan sat up and looked down at him.

"This is me you're talking to." Stefan said and Damon stared at him confused.

"I'm not over sentimental Stefan. You should know that now. I'm not going to throw myself into your arms and cry. That's not who I am."

"Aren't you scared?"

"I'm scared of where this conversation is going." Damon admitted and Stefan clasped their hands together as he considered his words.

"It's not just this place is it? You aren't always in danger because you're here. You don't deal with things that scare you, you run towards them, find dangers." Stefan said and Damon tensed his jaw.

"Wow that's deep. Thanks for the character analysis. What does it say about you, that you want me? That you think I'm an angel?" Damon hit back a little hurt.

"You're not an angel. You're just my one." Stefan said, tense at Damon's obvious defensiveness. "If I take you away from here, will you still find danger?"

"No." Damon said as his heart squeezed. "I don't want that anymore. I want you."

Stefan looked at him unsure and Damon felt his heart squeeze enough for his throat to constrict.

"Stefan, I…I want to be with you. I want to live _your_ life with you."

"You're just saying that because you want me too."

"No." Damon frowned and closed his eyes tight as he tried to think of the right words. "What you have, I want that. I want it with you. You've saved me. You can save me." He corrected and Stefan gave a small smile.

"Will you leave this place and come away with me?"

"Anywhere you want to go." Damon said and Stefan lay down on him again and snuggled into him.

"I just wish we could go right now." Damon sighed and held him tight as they waited.

An hour or so later everyone arrived. Everyone. Jeremy, Matt, Caroline, Elena and…the professor.

"You!" Damon stood up outraged that the human was still breathing and cast a murderous look over at Caroline. "You didn't kill him?!"

"No." Caroline said confidently. "It's just as well so cool your jets."

"What the f…" He began to yell when Stefan moved forward to stand face to face with the human.

"Stefan he's here to help." Elena advised.

"Hey, I don't want any trouble." The human put his hands up defensively and looked to Caroline. "I'm just here to check your bloods ok. No big deal."

"No big deal?" Stefan squinted at him before Caroline made a motion behind the human's back that Stefan didn't understand.

"I hear your friends had a virus. Ok if I take a look?" The human said and Stefan realised what was happening.

Caroline had compelled him to forget everything, everything about vampire experiments, plague viruses and their involvement. He looked at her and she beckoned him but looked dangerously towards Damon. Elena moved to Damon rubbed his arm to calm him.

"He's here to take a look at what's going on with your blood Damon. He'll know." She whispered in his ear and he tensed unhappily. "Let him." She said with authority and he threw himself back down on the couch in rage.

"Why didn't you kill him?" Stefan asked Caroline as the professor edged nearer to Damon and sat his medical bag down on the floor next to him.

"I don't kill people Stefan. It's not my choice to decide who gets to live and who dies."

"After everything that happened? Are you kidding me?" He said astonished and she looked at him pointedly.

"Todesengel." She said simply and he frowned confused. "He decided who lived and died. Did you really want to become like that too?"

Stefan took a breath as he thought of that. He'd condemned the professor for his experiments but if they'd killed him in revenge afterwards, they'd have been just as bad. He shook his head slowly and looked over to Damon.

"He's a doctor. He's a genius. His mind has been warped by hatred, so I removed it."

"So, now he's the vampire doctor?" Stefan huffed.

"No, he doesn't know anything more about vampires than exists in movies and TV, but he does have a renewed sense of passion for curing the sick. He's leaving for Africa next month."

"Africa."

"Yes. I reminded him of how his talents in the study of pathogens and plague viruses might be useful to _heal_ people rather than torture them and commit genocide." She said proudly and Stefan stared at her for a long moment.

"You are…" He began, full of wonder and admiration for this girl who could see through hate enough to think rationally when none of the rest of them could.

"I know." She smiled and shrugged. "Besides, I thought he could stand to have a few intestinal worms and third world accommodation for a while in penance."

Stefan gave a smile and looked over to Damon who'd been listening and was rolling his eyes. The professor knelt down next to him. Damon averted his gaze to the fireplace as he tried not to have a blow out and Elena sat down next to him and took his hand.

Bonnie came around to the front of the couch and looked at Damon in intrigue.

"I'm not an exhibit." Damon said coldly and she folded her arms.

"Tell me again, why do I care that you're not dead?" She asked sarcastically and he huffed. "You were there, in the 'in between' with me. Don't you remember?"

"Huh?" He looked up at her with wide eyes.

"I'm the anchor, remember? You were there, almost crossing. You don't remember?"

He shook his head as he stared at her, feeling fear creep through him as the professor took a hold of his arm and began to tourniquet it for a sample. Damon barely seemed to notice it was happening as he looked to Bonnie for answers.

"What happened?"

"You kept trying to go back. Just when you would try to pass through me, you'd vanish. I kept waiting for the pain – thinking it'd happen but it didn't. I couldn't tell whether you were gone or not and I can always tell."

"Do you remember anything?" Elena asked him and he shook his head.

"I was lost. It was dark, loud. People screaming and grabbing at me. I thought I was in hell." He confessed and she tightened her hold on his hand. "Then you were there and you slapped me."

"Hmmn." Bonnie gave Elena an approving smile. "Well where you were wasn't hell. I'd have known if you were really gone because I'd have felt your death."

"So where was I then?" He asked and Bonnie shrugged.

The professor took his sample, freeing Damon's arm again and standing up looking to Caroline for guidance.

"There's a table in the kitchen. Is that enough light?" She asked and he nodded, lifting his bag as he walked with her through to the kitchen.

Stefan came back to Damon and sat down at his other side.

"You ok?" Bonnie asked him and he nodded.

"I'm just confused. I was sure he'd died. He didn't move for days and he was cold and stiff."

"Right here." Damon reminded.

"I didn't think to check his heart. I forgot it would still beat." Stefan admitted, linking his fingers with Damon's in an attempt to rouse him from his awful mood.

"I would have forgotten too. It takes a while to get used to being a vampire. To realise what it means, what it changes." Elena said sympathetically and Stefan nodded.

Jeremy had been hanging around in the background observing everything silently.

"Not an exhibit." Damon huffed again and Jeremy came forward and sat in the chair opposite him.

"Gee isn't this fun." Damon mumbled.

Caroline walked through to the lounge with the professor and looked to Stefan.

"Stefan can I have a word please?"

Stefan felt fear grip him and Damon tensed and looked to her too.

"Yeah." Stefan moved to stand and Damon stood up too.

Caroline chewed her lip but beckoned them both. They walked into the kitchen, shaking from adrenaline. The professor sat down and turned to them. He'd brought his microscope with him and was writing a few notes. Stefan held his breath.

"Whatever infected you Damon, has changed your blood quite significantly." The professor paused. "I've never seen blood like this before, Miss Forbes tells me your family have a genetic blood defect?"

Caroline raised her eye brows in communication and Stefan spoke for him.

"Yeah. We all have it." Stefan nodded and Damon frowned at him. "Vampire blood." Stefan whispered low enough only for vampire ears and Damon's expression straightened.

"May I take a sample of yours so I can compare?"

"Yeah." Stefan rolled up his sleeve and offered it to him.

The human was quick and efficient and placed the slide with Stefan's blood under the microscope to compare. He frowned as he looked through the lens.

"Yes, siblings I take it?" He asked and Stefan nodded grimly.

It was a truth evident in their biology regrettably, despite his attempts to deny it. He hated it.

"And you will ill also?"

"Yes but I was treated. The treatment didn't work on Damon for some reason. We…were told that he was in a later stage and couldn't be cured that way." Stefan struggled not to grit his teeth as he recalled the human's words back to him.

"Get to the point doc." Damon said coldly. "What's the prognosis?"

"You're blood isn't free from some kind of pathogen. I can only imagine that you're so well because it has been much diluted. There are still traces though."

"It's still in him?" Stefan croaked and grabbed Damon's hand tight as Damon felt his knees shake a little. "How do we get rid of it?"

"You were near death?"

"Yes." Damon could barely speak from fear clawing at his insides.

"What changed? Were you given another dose of medicine?"

"No." He croaked.

"Evidently something was introduced into your system and it kept you alive. We need to figure out what that was and administer it again."

"Will that cure him?"

"Over time. From the growth rate, I'd say it will have to be taken regularly until the virus is completely dead or it will multiply again." His words were so grave that Stefan began to hold onto Damon as Damon paled.

"He wasn't given anything else. There was only one shot and he took it. Then…" Caroline turned to them both in torment. "Did you do anything? Once you were both…" She trailed off and Stefan shook his head.

"No, we were just, saying goodbye." Stefan began to struggle to keep his composure and Damon moved away from him and sat down.

Caroline stepped over to Stefan and held his shoulders as she searched his face.

"Think, what happened in the safe. Something must have happened."

"We kissed. We talked…" Stefan said and looked to Damon who looked unwell now. "I fed him to take away the pain."

"Fed him." Caroline said as she thought on it, before twirling around to the look at the professor who was looking from one brother to the other in a little confused revulsion at the mention of kissing. "If the virus had been transmitted through blood from the host, would the cure be able to work in that capacity too?"

"Through a blood transfusion? Possibly." The professor said and she smiled and turned back to Stefan.

"It was you." She smiled. "You did it. You had the cure in your blood and you fed him."

Damon looked over at her and Stefan blinked.

"Me?"

"Yes." She smiled excitedly. "Your blood infected him when he drank from you, so only your blood could heal him. That's why the injection didn't work, because he wasn't infected by a bite or given the full pure dose like you were. It was all in the blood. You saved him when you gave him the blood."

"But he was dead." Stefan stuttered and she shook her head.

Bonnie entered and looked to Stefan.

"He almost was, several times Stefan but, he kept going back." She agreed and he looked over to Damon in shock.

"I was ok at first." Damon said dazed. "When I drank from you in your apartment I felt weird after but I thought it was just nerves. Everything was changing so fast."

"You weren't feral straight away. It took days?" Caroline asked and he nodded. "Maybe that's why it took so long for you to waken again in the safe. The healing took just as long as the infection took to spread through your body."

Everyone fell silent as the others came into the kitchen and looked to Stefan happily. Stefan felt overwhelmed and looked from one to the other. He didn't know what to say. They were all looking at him as though he was a hero for feeding Damon, when in truth he'd done it because he couldn't bear to be alone. It had caused Damon pain to feed because it lengthened his time being conscious and _alive_, till in the end Stefan had had to stop being so selfish and told Damon to let go because Damon had begged. He didn't feel like a hero at all. It had just been a coincidence of happy fate. He looked to Damon who was looking at him with tears in his eyes.

"You save me." Damon said and Stefan gulped hard, feeling guilty and undeserving.

"Um…" The professor interjected, feeling confused and uncomfortable with what was happening and Caroline turned to him.

"Thanks doc."

"Don't thank me yet. Whatever Damon ingested, he has to have again, regularly until the virus is gone."

"How will we know when it's gone?"

"Regular blood samples. I can refer you to a colleague at Whitmore while I'm on leave." He said and she nodded and smiled at him. "Well, I better be off then."

He made a hasty retreat with his belongings as everyone left Stefan and Damon alone in the kitchen to talk. Damon couldn't talk, he just stared at Stefan.

"You saved me." He said again and Stefan bit his lip. "I guess you're the angel now."

"No, I was being selfish. I did it to keep you with me longer even though I knew it hurt you more." Stefan confessed and Damon shook his head and gave him a small smile.

"It's ok."

"No, it wasn't. We're just lucky this happened. I didn't plan it."

"So?" Damon stood up and went to him, pulling him into a hug. "It doesn't matter Stefan. I would probably have done the same, just to keep you with me a little longer. I know you didn't want me to suffer. I don't blame you for it."

Stefan closed his eyes and felt the weight lifting from his shoulders. He wound his arms around him tightly and kissed his shoulder.

"You need to feed from me, every day until it's gone." Stefan mumbled into the fabric of his shirt and Damon gave a chuckle.

"Mmmmn, how torturous for me."

He pulled back and kissed Stefan's mouth, making an arousing sound at the back of his throat that made Stefan's hairs stand on end.

"I want to taste you too." Stefan whispered seductively as Damon's smile became playful and he ran his hands down to Stefan's behind and squeezed.

"I'm sure that can be arranged as soon as I'm all better. We can't risk you being infected when you're the golden chalice." Damon stroked Stefan's hair behind his ear.

"Ok." Stefan smiled.

"You know I think I feel a plague coming on, I might need some medicine and some TLC." Damon teased. "I think I should really be in bed." He winked and Stefan chuckled happily.


	25. Chapter 25

God my head has grown to the size of a planet hahaha. My best friend and beta is just shaking her head at me these days when I tell her about all of you and how much I feel valued. Just to reassure, there's loads more to come darlings. I got a few more chapters in me yet

Chapter 25 TNB

Everyone could see how desperate they were to be alone. Stefan was practically oozing pheromones as Damon's eyes lingered on him and Jeremy was the first to practically bolt. Elena kissed them both and hugged them to her before she left with Caroline on her arm, giving Stefan a reassuring nod as she closed the door behind them. Damon let out the breath he'd been holding and relaxed at their absence.

Stefan chuckled and took his hand, kissing his fingers as Damon tried to seduce him with his eyes. He wanted Stefan to melt in front of him, so it was a surprise when Stefan jumped on him and began to kiss him passionately, knocking them into a side table. Damon grunted as the table edge jabbed his lower back but he was soon pre-occupied in their kissing and grabbing at each other to be too concerned about it. Stefan was hot and fired up, now that he knew that Damon wasn't going to die. His insistence that they make love right there against the table was growing and Damon had to fight with his hands to get him under control.

"Slow…slow." He panted against Stefan's mouth but Stefan made a frustrated sound. "Uh!" He gasped as Stefan pressed him into the table and rubbed their groins together.

Stefan began to undo Damon's jeans, his hands shaking but confident in their intention and Damon tilted his head back and let Stefan bite and suck at his neck teasingly. His head was spinning and he loved it. Stefan was so passionate, it was taking his breath away. Before he knew what was happening Stefan hand his hand down his pants and was pumping him and his eyes rolled back in his head. He moaned and gasped, flexing his hips in aid and Stefan grinned and resumed his attack on his mouth until Damon surrendered his tongue. That was something extra new about Stefan now. He wasn't timid, he took what he wanted and he usually got it as a result.

Damon was shaking and climaxing before he knew it and he surrendered his seed to Stefan's hand as he opened his mouth and sucked in a breath. Stefan finally settled down, squeezing his manhood firmly to milk the remaining fluid from him as he kissed him slowly and softly. Damon felt faint from the blood rush and sagged into the table behind him. Stefan wound his arm around his back and beckoned him to the floor. Damon collapsed on his back breathing, flushed and satisfied and Stefan pulled some tissues from a holder on the table and cleaned his hand and Damon's trousers as Damon closed his eyes.

"Where…did that come from?" Damon panted and Stefan smiled and leaned down to Damon's soft member, licking over it and up to his abdomen as Damon shivered. "Jesus…" Damon sighed happily and Stefan chuckled.

"You need to feed." Stefan whispered as he placed soft butterfly kisses on Damon's smooth muscular stomach, sliding his hands up to move the fabric out of the way. "Then you're going to make love to me."

"Am I now?" Damon raised an eyebrow.

"At least three times." Stefan smiled confidently.

"I think I'm done for the night." Damon teased and Stefan let his fangs show. "No, Stefan…not yet."

"I know." Stefan groaned, looking at the veins in Damon's neck. "I want you so badly."

"You've got me." Damon reassured. "Now, I'm practically wasting away here, doctor." He joked, when a shooting pain went up his arm and he cringed and raised it.

The skin had gone a strange colour again and he watched it as it travelled up his arm before disappearing like a spider into his flesh. He couldn't help the look of horror he demonstrated and Stefan was immediately panicking.

"Oh my god, you have to drink now!"

"I know, it's ok Stef. You'll make it go away." Damon said softly and calmed again.

Stefan nodded and moved to bite into his wrist but Damon stopped him.

"Where's the fun in that?" He gave a grin and Stefan raised his eyebrows in confusion, so he sat up abruptly and grabbed Stefan by the back of the head, bringing him down to his lips and taking a bite of his neck.

Stefan gasped at the sensation and tried to relax as Damon pulled him on top of him. Stefan lay his head at the side of Damon's face, rubbing his nose against Damon's ear as Damon held him and drank. The sound of Damon gulping was oddly seductive and relaxing at the same time and Stefan's body began to heat and pulse in pleasure. He began to drool from his mouth as Damon continued, kneading Stefan's bottom as he drank to increase Stefan's awareness of his body. It felt so amazing to be connected like this. Damon needed him and only he could give him this. He began to gyrate as his body filled with pre-climax sensation and Damon pulled his mouth away breathing heavily and rolled them over. Stefan flopped onto his back and looked up at him, his eyes half closed in desire.

From the position Damon looked dangerous and animal-like, blood dripping down his face from around the sides of his mouth, his hair wild from Stefan's probing fingers and half of his clothes undone from Stefan earlier work. Stefan tilted his pelvis in invitation and Damon grinned and pulled his jeans down. They both took a deep breath as Stefan's manhood sprang erect from the fabric and Damon gave a growl of want.

"My turn." He said and Stefan cried out as Damon swallowed him down his throat.

Stefan grabbed at the rug underneath them, panting and writhing uncontrollably as Damon worked his tender flesh. Leyla had been good at this, or so he'd thought but Damon's mouth was unbelieveable. Stefan couldn't stop the rant of growls and desperate whispered words that tumbled from his mouth as Damon sucked him, nipped him and swallowed his juices until he yelled so loudly he was glad they didn't have neighbours here. Damon drew back, letting him relax for a second before he gathered him in his arms and pulled them up from the floor. Stefan panted and lay limp in his embrace as Damon blurred to his bed and threw him onto the mattress. Stefan landed with a bounce and laughed as Damon jumped on top of him, rolling them around as they chuckled and kissed.

Stefan toes curled with every caress and touch of Damon's hands. It was as though his body was on fire and Damon's fingertips were made of ice. Everything was alive and to attention.

"Fuck me please!" He panted and Damon laughed, showing his perfect white teeth and shook his head.

"Oh no. Not that for you." He teased and Stefan frowned in distress.

"What?" He liked being sucked but he wanted Damon inside of him, connected, joined together physically like no other way possible.

Damon kissed him passionately, spreading his legs open and around Damon's hips as Stefan held his head, his fingers curling into Damon's hair.

"No fucking for you Stef." He whispered into his mouth and Stefan groaned in disbelief. "Making love." Damon added and Stefan's breath caught in his throat as he relaxed and kissed him back with more fervour.

Damon took his time, making him shout and beg like a child to be filled with his flesh, but it seemed to egg Damon on. He reduced him to a quivering mess as he sucked and bit and licked his body – touching parts of Stefan's body he had no idea felt good. Damon's plan to tease him until he was desperate, started to wane with his own arousal however as they began to grab at each other in heat and rub their bodies together.

"Oh fucking hell, just do it!" Stefan whined and Damon finally entered him, making them both whimper and gasp.

Their bodies were so ready, so aching that every touch felt as though their skin was merely a layer of Saran wrap stopping them from become one being. As Damon moved inside of him, they both gasped and rested their foreheads together. It had never been like this before. Even with Elena, there had been some holding back, some insecurities but Stefan was new and fresh and he loved him without baggage and accusations and recriminations. Stefan simply loved him to the very core of who he was and it was so freeing he found himself tearing up as they began to gasp in short breaths approaching their climax. Stefan noticed tears spilling from his face and slid his hand up into his hair to bring their mouths together while supporting Damon's thrusting by holding his bottom with the other.

Damon let a sob slip from his mouth into Stefan's as he climaxed inside of him and Stefan arched and removed his hand from his head to milk out his own seed as Damon tensed to let his seed fill him. Stefan climaxed loudly and Damon supported himself above him as he watched Stefan's face.

They both stared at each other, full of post coital love and acceptance and Stefan reached up and wiped the tears from Damon' cheeks.

"No one will ever make you cry again." Stefan whispered. "You're coming home with me."

Damon hung his head and breathed, avoiding his eyes. It was too much, this emotion and he didn't know how to deal with it without it consuming him. He lay his face into Stefan's neck and snuggled in and Stefan pulled blankets over them to make them comfortable. Damon began to dose, his eyelashes flickering against Stefan's neck and Stefan smiled to himself drunkenly and paid attention to every breath, every heartbeat coming from his angel. Damon slept for a time, securely and comfortably inside of Stefan's body and Stefan began to plan their next apartment. He didn't want to rush him, but he wanted to remove him from Mystic Falls as soon as he could.

He had a job that'd he'd missed tons of and friends who must be worried about him by now, but he didn't want to spend even one day without Damon. No, Damon had to come with him. When Damon awoke he fed from him again and Stefan licked at his throat too as he groaned in desire to drink from Damon. He knew he couldn't yet. Over the next day and night they barely left the bed, Damon feeding and making love to him with such love and obsession that Stefan forgot his own name at times. He forgot that his life, that their life was out there waiting for them. Damon's body was such a distraction and the gentleness with which he took him, made Stefan wonder how any woman had ever let him go.

Damon's control over his muscles was extraordinary and he flexed his body into Stefan's with such ease and delicate control that Stefan never feared it would hurt. He held Damon's hips and bottom to aid him, but mostly because he liked to feel Damon's gluts tense and release at the thrusting movements. Even the sweat that would trickle down his chest was enticing and the sounds Damon made were enough to drive Stefan wild with pleasure.

They panted and lay side by side as Stefan kicked the blankets from Damon's bed aside. Their sheets were gross now and neither of them had washed in two days of love making. Stefan turned on his side and watched Damon snooze once more. He was in awe of Damon's energy. Stefan's body had been completely and utterly claimed and he was full and stretched. He draped his arm over his back and kissed Damon's arm and shoulder, basking in the glow of his happiness. Damon exhaled and pulled him into his side, not waking fully and Stefan dusted his fingers over Damon's lips as he had done when he'd first started to feel connected to his angel.

"I love you." He whispered and Damon gave a small smile.

"Love you." He whispered back half awake and Stefan grinned in glee and kissed him sweetly.

Damon had said it several times already but each additional time made Stefan fall harder for him. He'd never believed he could be so happy, that Damon would ever be his truly. They had started out on such opposite corners of this story and now they'd met in the middle. Stefan gave him a chaste kiss and climbed out of the bed quietly – Damon grunting at his movement disapprovingly.

Stefan moved to his old room and showered, not wanting to rouse him and dressed quickly. He needed to feed. Damon had been drinking from him so much. He walked down stairs creeping along the floor boards to avoid waking him and entered the lounge. They had knocked the table over the other day amidst their passion and there were ornaments scattered around the floor. He chuckled to himself, deciding that he wasn't cleaning it up. They would leave things where they fell as evidence of their lovemaking. He went down to the fridge in the basement and pulled out some blood bags, drinking hungrily as he recovered from his lethargy. Damon had needed to drink a lot to combat the virus, but Stefan enjoyed every minute of it so it was hardly a hardship. He drank a few bags before he grabbed one for Damon and headed back up stairs.

The room smelled of sex, blood and Damon and Stefan smiled to himself, revelling in being part of the mix. Damon had fallen fully asleep, his arm stretched out towards the door as if calling for him. Stefan sat down and just watched him sleep for a while, relaxed by the sound of Damon's breathing and the rapid eye movement behind Damon's eyelids. He knew Damon liked being strong, brave and independent but he was also so vulnerable too. Stefan had no problem having Damon be the one he snuggled into and sought comfort from but he fiercely wanted to protect him too. Perhaps this was just what love did to people. It blurred the lines in wondrous colours.

He stood up, removing his clothes again and pulled the blankets aside. His nose twitched at the aroma of their juices and he gave a small laugh and wrinkled his nose. Damon opened his eyes sighing and looked at him tiredly.

"Ok, no. I can't come back in this bed." Stefan smiled and Damon frowned and stuck his bottom lip out. "My bed, come on. It's fresh."

Damon grunted unhappily and snuggled further into the covers and Stefan pulled them from him. Damon sighed huffily.

"You can still be the king of the second biggest bed in Louisiana." Stefan joked.

"It's not." Damon pouted.

"Ok the fourth biggest bed."

"Mmn." Damon grunted again, so Stefan leaned over and pulled his legs, dragging him to the bottom of the bed as Damon opened his eyes in surprise.

"We're not done yet. Not by a long shot and I want you in clean sheets." Stefan advised and moved to lift him in his arms.

Damon sat up and batted his hands away and Stefan stood up again and waited. Clearly Damon was claiming his territory and Stefan was included in that. Damon stood up and caught him around the waist, throwing him over his shoulder as Stefan yelled in surprise. Stefan laughed all the way to his room as Damon slapped his behind a few times and threw him down on the bed again. Stefan waited until Damon climbed on to before he rolled them over and began to kiss Damon gently. Damon held him and stroked his fingertips down his back. Stefan's skin turned to gooseflesh and he sighed at the tickling sensation.

He wanted to have Damon for a change. He loved being underneath but Damon was tired, he could tell.

"Lie back." He whispered and Damon relaxed into the pillows as Stefan lined himself up and sank down slowly onto his erection – it seemed Damon always had an erection!

Damon closed his eyes and let out a slow growl as Stefan filled himself till he was sitting on Damon's legs. Stefan linked their fingers together as he began to move. He liked this position – their first ever and he leaned forward to kiss Damon's chest, sweeping his tongue as he did so. He wanted to touch every part of him and Damon had been in control the past few days. As he moved he became more aroused at the thought of that – at exploring Damon's body properly, touching every part, tasting everything and he felt his climax come on much too quickly. He began to gasp and moan and Damon looked at him in surprise as Stefan removed himself from Damon's body and sat back on the bed to calm himself down. He didn't want this to be too quick, he wanted it to last. Damon sat up concerned and he smiled and cupped Damon's face, kissing him.

"You ok?" Damon asked and he nodded. "Why didn't you cum?"

"Don't want to yet." Stefan breathed.

Damon bit his lip and searched his face.

"Can I touch you?" Stefan asked meekly.

"What do you think you've been doing?" Damon asked confused, with a small smile.

"No, I want to touch you, touch everything. I want to make you mine too."

"I am yours."

"I know, but I've only…done this a few times with anyone and I…I want to know what you like."

"I like everything you do Stef." Damon kissed him in reassurance and Stefan pushed him gently back down again. "Fire away." Damon relaxed and brought his arms above his head as he closed his eyes.

Stefan blushed and felt his body awaken as he thought on what he wanted to do first. He started at Damon's toes, kissing them one at a time as Damon chuckled and tried not to twitch. For some reason, the knowledge that Damon was tickly was delightful and completely unexpected. Stefan smiled and became more confident as he kissed up the inside of his legs to his groin. He stopped short there and had a thought.

"Can I wash you?" Stefan asked.

"That bad huh? Well, you did beg several times." Damon smirked to himself and Stefan launched a pillow at him.

He jolted in surprise and sat up grabbing Stefan by his arms and throwing him down beside him as Stefan laughed and fought against his hold.

"No, I just wanted to!" Stefan cried out in laughter as Damon fake growled in outrage and grabbed at him as he struggled.

Damon leaned down to his neck and licked.

"Medicine." Damon growled in the back of his throat and Stefan tilted his neck.

"Take some."

Damon bit down and Stefan held him around his back urging him to drink as deeply as he wanted. After he'd eaten, he'd be full and sleepy. Then Stefan could do what he wanted with him. Damon's mood would be so tranquil he wouldn't contest anything. Damon melted into him as he drank, moaning and sighing as he did. Anyone walking past the door would think they were having sex and Stefan loved that knowledge. Damon could be so filled with pleasure just at the very taste of him, as well as the physical conquest. Damon rolled away onto his back breathing and sighing content and Stefan took his chance to leap up and go to his bath room to retrieve a wet soapy cloth. Damon grunted at that but opened his legs willingly, letting Stefan climb in between them.

This wasn't about cleaning evidence of their passion, it was about getting to touch Damon's body like this. He could explore like this. He began to move the cloth slowly up Damon's thighs and Damon made a purring sound of enjoyment.

"This is me taking care of you. You're mine now angel." Stefan said and Damon smiled and closed his eyes.

Stefan took his time, returning to run more warm water into the cloth as he stroked the cloth over Damon's groin, stopping to touch and kiss every part of Damon's sex. Damon didn't mind the probing, actually tilting his hips to help when Stefan moved to underneath his testicles. Stefan kissed over his abdomen as he ran his fingertips gently over Damon's entrance. Damon exhaled, relaxed and Stefan took the plunge, inserting his finger gently. It felt hot and tight and he smiled that Damon's mouth fell open a little in response.

"Can I have you?" Stefan asked and Damon nodded, blushing and tilting. "Really?"

"Anything you want. Anything." Damon gave a small gasp and Stefan pushed his fingers inside one at a time.

He found a curve inside and let his fingers bend to explore it and Damon moaned and called his name in a whisper. That was the prostate definitely – something Damon had been using to reduce him to a writhing mess for days now. He teased it, stroking it backwards and forwards and Damon began to move into him.

"God that feels good." Damon grabbed a pillow and placed it over his face as he grunted and Stefan chuckled.

Damon seemed embarrassed but he was clearly enjoying it.

"Fuck!" Damon's voice was muffled through the pillow and Stefan removed his fingers and lined himself up.

He could hear Damon's breathing despite the pillow and he held his hips tight and entered him. Damon shouted at the movement and pressed the pillow further into his face. Stefan pulled out again and moved in slower this time, smiling at the sensation. It didn't take long until Damon was gasping for breath and practically smothering himself with the pillow, so Stefan reached up and dragged it from his hands. Damon's face was red and he turned his head to avoid Stefan's eyes as Stefan sped up his movements and moaned breathlessly.

"Damon, Damon look at me…" Stefan breathed and Damon moaned in response and turned his face back, closing his eyes as he arched and held Stefan's waist. "Are you cuming?"

He wanted so badly to make this good for him, but he didn't understand why Damon was so embarrassed, shy practically and Damon nodded.

"Show me. Let go."

Damon opened his eyes and frowned as his mouth fell open. He tried to roll them over suddenly but Stefan saw it coming and leaned down on him, pinning him down as he sped up and deepened their connection, making Damon gasp and tilt his head back.

"Cum for me." Stefan begged and Damon moaned and released his juices between them as he panted wildly.

Stefan laughed, hardly breathing as he held Damon's ribs and shook the bed with his thrusts until he howled, climaxing so fully inside of him that he felt as though he might shrivel up – all the fluids from his body passing through into Damon. Damon supported him as he hung his head and Stefan withdrew from his sex and lay on top of him. Damon held him, kissing the side of his head, urging Stefan to tuck his head under his chin. Stefan did so and Damon rolled them onto their sides, enveloping him in his arms so Stefan curled around his body like a cat.

"That…was new."


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter 26 TNB

"Hmmmn." Stefan sighed as Damon snuggled into his back.

They'd been at it for days, catching up on all of the wasted time and they were both finally exhausted. Stefan smiled to himself, feeling the pulsing in his body and the silkiness of Damon's juices inside of him. It was oddly erotic even now in the messy aftermath of making love. He had a little of Damon inside of him and he felt unbelievably full of joy. Damon hadn't had any strange pains or skin discolouration for a whole day and Stefan believed that he was now free of the virus. Still, Damon wouldn't let him drink from just yet, just in case. Stefan had felt annoyed and frustrated, pouting like a child for a while but gradually it made him feel more cherished that Damon was so protective. He knew they'd have to leave their bubble eventually and Damon had said today.

Damon kissed the back of his neck and Stefan pressed back into him.

"You're too addictive." Damon bit his neck playfully and Stefan let out a happy sigh. "If we don't get up today then we never will."

Stefan huffed and pulled Damon's arm over him tighter.

"What about our new life. Hmmm?" Damon whispered seductively into his ear. "Can't start it here."

"No." Stefan pouted. "One more day."

Damon began to chuckle, shaking Stefan's body with the motion and Stefan opened his eyes.

"You reek Stefan and I have high standards."

Stefan elbowed him in the ribs, making him chuckle again. Damon bit his shoulder and growled before sitting up as Stefan groaned in acceptance.

"Besides, I have a present for you." Damon said excitedly and Stefan rolled onto his back and looked at him in surprise.

"A present?"

"That got your attention." Damon smirked.

"What is it?" Stefan immediately frowned and Damon feigned being insulted.

"Well, if you don't want it…" Damon moved to leave the bed and Stefan sat up and grabbed his arm, shaking his head and chuckling.

"You're a dick."

"The biggest of them all." Damon wiggled his eyebrows and they laughed and leaned in to kiss each other.

Stefan ran his hands through Damon's hair as they kissed, humming in the back of his throat. How he loved this hair, this face, these lips and they were all his now. They separated and Damon kissed the tip of Stefan's nose lightly.

"Come on, I'll go get it." Damon said, rising from the bed and Stefan stretched his limbs out and moved the covers aside.

"Damon?" He called in surprise when Damon disappeared from the room and down the stairs.

He shrugged and walked to the shower in his bathroom. He jumped in and began to wash himself as he started to plan. They'd grab Damon's things – the things that were the most important and go back to his place till they figured out what they were doing. He began to sing to himself as he let his imagination get carried away. They'd buy a big house, not as big as this, but old and full of history – or they could build their own. He'd like that. Building things made him feel so happy. He was sure manual labour wouldn't be up Damon's alley but maybe if it was something they built together, he'd like it.

Damon came into the bathroom looking a little unsure and Stefan stopped singing and paused.

"You ok?" He asked and Damon recovered himself and shook his head smiling.

"Nothing." He gave a chuckle and rubbed his face.

"What?" Stefan asked again and Damon walked into the room and into the shower with him, kissing him sweetly on the lips.

Stefan pulled back to check his face but he seemed fine. Strange. Then he realised that Damon completely nude and he'd heard him go outside.

"Wait you went outside like that?"

"Yup." Damon grinned and Stefan chuckled.

"Where did you go?" He asked as he lathered Damon's skin with soap and began to wash him.

"Out to the car, that's where your present was." Damon winked and then tilted his face up into the shower spray.

"What did you get me?" Stefan smiled and stroked his hands around to Damon's bottom, caressing him.

"If you know what it is, you can have it." Damon teased.

"What kind of clue is that?"

"None." Damon pouted in jest and Stefan chuckled and let Damon take over washing him now.

Even Damon's hands being on his body made him want to climax, it was electric. He could just have him again in the shower. Damon turned him around to wash his back and gave him a cheeky slap on the behind. Stefan shook his head. It took all of their willpower to emerge from the shower clean and not soiled again.

Stefan dried himself off and followed Damon into Damon's room to dress. As he entered the room he looked around. He'd never spent much time in here before to notice Damon's beloved things. He loved books – that was clear. He was a romantic too. Thankfully he wasn't the untidy pig that Stefan Salvatore had been – everything had a place and was neat. They were going to get on quite well. Damon came up behind him and slid his arms around him.

"So do you want it?"

"I'd be having it right now if you hadn't dragged us from the bed." Stefan whined.

"No Mr One Track Mind. I am a person you know, not just your love junkie." Damon teased.

"Love junkie?" Stefan let out a laugh that made his eyes water and Damon moved away to retrieve a package for him.

Stefan turned to see and Damon handed him a brown paper bag. It didn't look like much of a present. Stefan frowned at him in query and began to open it. It felt like something metal, heavy and strangely shaped.

"What is it?" He asked.

"If you know, you can keep it." Damon folded his arms and smiled.

Stefan pulled the item from the bag and gasped, smiling. He looked to Damon in amazement and Damon grinned.

"Is this what I think it is?"

"Maybe." Damon smiled.

"How did you know?" Stefan moved the metal rod from hand to hand as he marvelled at it and smiled delighted.

"I saw you had an old 1920s car in that garage. Wondered why you weren't working on that till I figured you didn't have a crank handle."

Stefan felt his chest fill with heat as he listened. Damon had noticed his cars, especially that one. It was his favourite and he was sure he'd never mentioned it to him. He'd been trying to find a handle to crank the engine for a while now, failing miserably so he'd begun to try to fashion one instead to no avail.

"I love you." Stefan said, full of love and emotional and Damon gave small chuckle, almost embarrassed by how much Stefan was moved and Stefan grabbed him and hugged him tight. "You're so perfect. I love you."

"I'm far from that Stef, but I'm glad you like it." Damon rubbed his back.

"No, this is…this is just _you_. Typical you. You noticed." Stefan squeezed him.

"Better not set a precedent for myself here." Damon chuckled.

"I don't have anything for you." Stefan pulled back in grief and Damon caught his chin and kissed him.

"You are my present."

Stefan smiled and Damon stepped back from him to get dressed. Stefan just watched him, holding the gift to his chest as he felt his heart flutter. Damon turned his back to pull some clothes out of his dresser, tossing Stefan some jeans and a shirt to wear. Stefan caught them and sniffed them. They smelled of him. Damon was gracing him with his fine clothes to wear. Wow.

"So, what will we do today?" Damon continued to pull things out of his drawer and Stefan realised he was supposed to dress.

"Um…what do you want to do?" Stefan began to dress, feeling disoriented and giddy.

"We could go back to your place. Try out the crank?"

Stefan smiled delighted when he realised that it had been almost a week since he'd been home.

"Shit!" He said and Damon turned around in surprise. "Holy shit! My cell! Where is it?"

Damon frowned and shrugged.

"Crap, I was supposed finish a car for someone, some big wig passing through. It was supposed to be finished today for pick up." Stefan threw the clothes on and Damon sagged a little.

"Oh, ok. Well, maybe we can hook up later then?"

"What?" Stefan stopped with one leg in his jeans, one hovering. "No way. You're coming with me. I don't want to be without you, ever."

Damon gave a surprise huff and Stefan smiled and pulled his jeans up.

"Can I help?"

"Bet your ass." Stefan buttoned up the shirt.

"What's my prize if I do?" Damon pulled on his own clothes and Stefan shook his head.

"You can be on top for a few days."

"Hmmmn." Damon cocked his head. "Deal."

They chased each other down the stairs laughing and shoving each other and Damon felt lighter and younger than he had in 100 years. Stefan's car had been abandoned outside the whole time they'd been dealing with the plague issue/near death/resurrection part of their recent memories and Stefan jumped in searching for his cell.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck!" Stefan muttered as Damon grabbed some clothes and things from the house to tide him over for a few days.

Stefan looked through all of the messages on his phone and chewed his lip. Everyone was worried. He'd been incommunicado for a week. Leyla was freaking out and he'd missed a gig AND his client was being a dick about making sure the car was ready for today. He looked up at Damon as he threw his bag into the boot of the car and moved around to climb in.

"Holiday over?" Damon asked, tilting his head towards the phone and Stefan gave a fitful sigh. "I'll help you. We'll finish the car and if we don't I'll just kill the jerk wad."

"Very funny." Stefan teased.

"Just compel him to think it was for next week."

"I'd need permission for that and the mayor probably won't give it to me." They both climbed in and Damon shook his head.

"How would he even know? You said the guy was passing through right?"

"Let's just try and get it done. With your help maybe."

"Alright." Damon held his hands up in defeat and Stefan sped them away from Mystic Falls.

They worked hard at it all day, ruining Damon's nice jeans with oil and grease, but oddly Damon quite enjoyed himself. Stefan looked hot when he was full of concentration and passion. This job did seem to really fulfil him and it was nice to see. Damon leaned back against an old Chevy truck, taking a break with a blood bag while Stefan climbed underneath the jerk wads' car and covered himself in more grease.

"Why don't I just lift it for you? That'd be easier." Damon offered.

"No, it's ok. Besides, the people who live here know about us but someone passing through would freak out if they saw you doing that."

"Big deal." Damon grunted.

"I'm almost done." Stefan said and Damon threw his empty blood bag in the trash.

Stefan re-emerged from under the car and stood up, cracking his back and neck. He inspected the car carefully, washing his hands and running his palms over the finish that they'd spent all day coating and buffing.

"Done?" Damon asked and Stefan nodded.

"Done." Stefan smiled.

Damon held out his arms for him and Stefan moved into him and kissed his cheek.

"I'm sorry this kinda ruined the day."

"No, it was fun."

"It was wasn't it?" Stefan beamed. "I love being with you. It's so easy."

"Especially when I'm being all helpful huh?" Damon squeezed him.

"Even then." Stefan teased and they chuckled and kissed.

"Hm-hmn." A grunt sounded and Stefan turned around to see the jerk wad. "Sorry for interrupting." The man said sarcastically.

He reeked of wealth and omnipotence and instantly Damon disliked him. Stefan walked towards the man, shaking his hand and apologising for not having called sooner. Damon watched, folding his arms in annoyance. This dude was so beneath Stefan's efforts. He could just compel his ass out of here and get him to leave the car completely. He smirked as he thought on that, but then he saw how proudly Stefan was advising the man on the care of the car. No, he wouldn't do anything that would ruin this for him. He'd just have to suffer the idiot so Stefan could be happy.

The man didn't linger long, tossing a few extra bills at Stefan as he grunted his thanks and drove away in their days work. Stefan watched it go and sighed.

"That guy was a grade A asshole." Damon commented and Stefan nodded.

"Yup. At least he loves the car as much as I do."

"I'll buy you one."

"Shut up." Stefan chuckled.

"I will."

"I know you can with your castle and money but that's not what it's about Damon. You can buy the feeling of having worked on something and built it from a shell. You just can't." Stefan explained and Damon chewed his lip.

He didn't really understand what that would feel like, no more than how he'd felt a little spark of interest in the car after having buffed it for an hour. Stefan's new feelings were such elusive revelations. As humans he and Stefan had always been moneyed. They'd always wanted for nothing. This new Stefan had worked for what he had and it had changed him in so many ways.

"Ok, so we travel around the world finding and restoring old cars then. I'll buy and we can build them together." Damon said and Stefan smiled and nodded.

"I'd love that."

"But…if I'm going to be a sugar daddy, what goods have you got for sale?"

"Oh, I'm sure I could think of something." Stefan grinned as he pushed Damon backwards and rattled the shutter for the garage down, locking them inside. "Strip."


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter 27 TNB

"There…there…Stef…" Damon drooled and panted. "There, oh god…!" He grabbed the pillow and hid his face as he moaned loudly and Stefan chuckled.

"You want some more?" Stefan teased, sliding his fingers in and out of Damon's entrance with ease as he teased his prostate.

This was his new favourite hobby. Damon was adorable in his reaction to this and would always hide his face with pillows or covers as he breathed. Damon rocked against Stefan's fingers.

"You want something bigger?"

"Fuck!" Damon moaned muffled. "Stefan…" It was practical a growl of need and Stefan pulled his fingers out and pushed his manhood in instead.

Damon trembled and gyrated to help him inside and Stefan leaned over him and began to move. He pulled the pillow from his face and Damon grunted at the loss.

"I want to see you." Stefan breathed, leaning down to capture his mouth.

Damon moaned and opened his mouth to him. Damon was always so embarrassed and shy when being entered. Stefan was sure it was because he was so used to being the more male in a pairing, the one to be on top, but Stefan had realised very quickly just how much Damon enjoyed this too. He was just too shy to admit it. Stefan lay his head in at his neck and Damon panted and shook.

"Uh…" Damon's voice resonated in his throat and Stefan pressed his lips against the skin to feel it.

"So beautiful. You're so beautiful, angel." Stefan whispered in his ear and Damon climaxed violently and messily between them, grabbing at Stefan's back for support as he rode it out.

Stefan slowed his rhythm to let him breathe and paused, rotating his hips gently as Damon whimpered and gripped his back so tightly his fingernails were leaving indents in Stefan's skin. Stefan raised his head and kissed him, drinking in every little gasp or whimper of post coital pleasure Damon emitted. He had given him this orgasm and he could jump for joy that it had been such a good one. Damon always satisfied him completely but Stefan was still new to sex and was still learning.

"Hmmn." Damon hummed as their tongues intertwined.

Stefan began to move again, slowly, deepening his thrust. Damon made little gasps again. Stefan pulled his mouth away and held himself above him.

"I wanna make you cum again." He breathed and Damon huffed a smile and closed his eyes.

Stefan withdrew from him and urged him up. Damon sat, flushed and alluring and Stefan turned him on all fours. This was just about the only time he could get Damon to do anything he wanted, to be this compliant. Damon wasn't naturally a submissive person, so Stefan wasn't sure if he would actually adopt this position. Stefan ran his hands down Damon's back and he hung his head and waited. His erection, although satisfied, still stood to attention and Stefan shook his head and smiled at that as he reached around and stroked it. Damon whimpered again at the contact and Stefan entered him. He began to thrust, tilting upwards slightly and Damon began to pant again.

"This is what it's going to be like forever." Stefan whispered as he kissed Damon's back and thrusted deeper into him. "As perfect as this. I'm going to have you every day for the rest of our lives."

Damon moaned and pushed back into his thrusts.

"I'm going to make love to you until you can't walk anymore."

"Fuck, Stefan…" Damon drooled and Stefan felt his excitement speed his climax towards him.

He gripped Damon's erection tight and Damon moaned as he sped up his pumping in time with his thrusts. They both gyrated against each other excitedly until they climaxed together and lay down on top of the bed, still connected as they breathed.

"That…was new." Damon chuckled breathless and happy.

"You always say that." Stefan nuzzled the back of his neck.

"It usually is."

"Am I the first man you've slept with?" It hadn't been something he'd planned to ask Damon, but it popped out.

"Yeah." Damon said honestly.

"Good." Stefan sighed happily.

"I'd ask you the same question but I doubt I'd believe the answer."

"Huh?"

"Plus, you don't remember."

"Hmmn." Stefan grunted in affirmation. "_I _haven't slept with any other men either."

"Then you're a quick learner Stef." Damon chuckled and Stefan smiled proudly and kissed his shoulder.

"I love your body." Stefan sighed.

"Yours aint so bad either."

"When you touch me I feel like I'm on fire." Stefan confessed. "In a good way."

"I will touch you at all times then." Damon smiled and flexed his hips indicating he wanted to roll over.

Stefan sat up and removed himself carefully, stroking over Damon's entrance, pleased to see his juices there. Leyla had always made him wear a condom even though he couldn't impregnate her. He'd never understood it but it didn't bother him until he realised how satisfying it was to leave his juices inside someone. It was pretty primal but impossible to fight. Damon gave a little purring sound as Stefan rubbed his thumb over the entrance.

"I'm in you." Stefan marvelled.

"Hmmn." Damon purred again, gooseflesh covering his skin as Stefan pushed his finger inside and caressed his insides.

"Thank you for letting me."

"Huh?"

"For letting me be with you, for letting me love you like this." Stefan beamed and curled his finger upwards making Damon jolt at the sensitivity. "I could just do this all day."

"If you do that I won't be able to talk, never mind walk and we'll miss our check up." Damon struggled to speak as pleasure coursed through his body down to his toes again.

"Shit!" Stefan said as he remembered.

He removed his finger and kissed Damon's neck as Damon sat up and leaned into him.

"Time to find out if I'm all better so you can take a bite of me." Damon reminded and Stefan bit his shoulder playfully.

Stefan had so been looking forward to being able to drink from him and now they'd know if it was safe to. They had an appointment with a colleague of the professor's to get Damon's blood sample checked. The professor had skipped off to Africa as planned so at least they could relax in that knowledge. After everything that had happened, Caroline and the others had systematically went through all of the professor's possessions and files, destroying everything they could find about the vampire experiments. They were safe.

It had been difficult to explain to Leyla and his friends just what had happened to them. He didn't want them to know the horrific details and how close they had come to death. Damon didn't like ruminating over things so he'd told them that another drastic crazy episode had occurred in Mystic Falls like usual and that had kept him occupied for the time he had been out of touch. Damon had been getting on well with his friends and he was so happy about that. Gone was the stubborn, slightly confrontational version of Damon. He was happy and free to be himself without judgement and it did seem to be having an effect on how relaxed he was. He'd even been helping set up the instruments at their gigs. Stefan's heart felt fit to burst. Leyla was fond of Damon too although it was clear that she still had feelings for him. Damon seemed to have picked up on it, but instead of being territorial, he was being kind to her and ensuring he chatted with her so she didn't feel excluded.

Stefan was doing the same for Elena now too, calling regularly. Despite her continuing reservations about he and Damon's relationship, she was a friend and he'd invited her and Caroline to stay at the weekend and come to a gig.

"Shower." Damon yawned, bringing Stefan back to reality and they both moved to the bathroom, still kissing and touching as they washed.

As they were dressing, Damon pulled some clothes out of the little drawer on the bedside cabinet that Stefan had cleared for him. He'd been staying every night but they hadn't really talked about a permanent move yet.

"Hey, I was thinking…" Stefan said as he buttoned his shirt, "about castle Salvatore."

"Hmmn?" Damon sounded as he began to dress.

"What if you sell it? We could buy something amazing here with the money and make this permanent. You know, you and me, together all the time."

Damon froze and looked at him with an unreadable expression on his face. Stefan paused, tensing. He'd struck a nerve and it was clear. Damon's face creased a little and he turned away.

"I…" Stefan stammered, unsure what Damon was feeling.

"No." Damon said plainly.

"I just thought…"

"No, Stefan. It's my home. It's our home." Damon said simply and dressed with intention, still keeping his back turned.

He was clearly upset and Stefan moved to hold him from behind, but Damon gently stopped him from sliding his arms around him. Stefan gulped and stepped back feeling rejected.

"I'm sorry." He said, his throat tight. "Damon?"

Damon exhaled and ran his fingers through his hair.

"That house has been home for nearly one hundred years. It's where we…there are so many memories, there's…" Damon struggled.

"I know."

"No you don't. How could you, you don't remember anything!" Damon snapped at him suddenly and Stefan felt it like a blow to his chest as he bit his lip and swallowed.

Damon had never been angry with him before, not since they'd been lovers. It hurt like a hot poker being shoved into his throat and he took a shaky breath. Damon walked into the bathroom, still not looking at him and Stefan sat on the bed, feeling hurt and upset. It was just a house, a building. He didn't understand. He dashed at a tear that spilled with the back of his hand and he heard Damon exhale from the bathroom. He sniffed and tried to shake himself out of it and Damon turned on taps.

"I just want us to be together properly." Stefan croaked, knowing Damon's vampire hearing would pick up on it and the taps turned off.

"I'll never sell the house. It's the only bit of my brother left." Damon spoke from the bathroom and Stefan blinked and held himself.

Damon no longer thought of Stefan as his brother and although that was worth jumping up and down about, it meant that Damon had also been grieving too. Damon missed his little brother and even having the new Stefan here, being his lover, partner and friend, couldn't fill the hole that grief created. Stefan blinked some tears down in his face in admittance of that. He didn't know how to comfort him. Damon walked back through and frowned guiltily at Stefan's forlorn expression and tears and he went to him and hugged him, kissing his head.

"I love you." He whispered and Stefan lay his face into his stomach and nodded. "Baby steps."

Stefan nodded again and dried his eyes, letting Damon stand back and stroke his face.

"We've got all the time in the world. I'm not going anywhere." Damon said softly and Stefan gave him a smile. "Pretty soon you're going to get tired of me being around all of the time and you'll be begging me to go home."

Stefan took his hands and kissed them.

"Never."

Damon smiled and pulled him to his feet.

"Let's do this thing." Damon winked and slid his arm around him, leading them out of the bedroom into the lounge.

They had a quick blood bag each and jumped into Stefan's car. Stefan pouted at Damon's refusal to let them go in the vintage car with its crank handle now gloriously available, because Damon didn't trust that someone wouldn't steal it. So in the Camaro they went, headed towards Whitmore. They were going to hook up with Elena for lunch after her classes.

As they drove, Damon held Stefan's hand reassuringly, apologising for snapping at him earlier and Stefan felt like floating.

"I know you miss him terribly. I didn't think." Stefan admitted and Damon gave a small smile.

"I've still got you." Damon squeezed his hand.

"Are you going to go back home for more stuff for tonight?"

"Um." Damon squeezed his hand again and chewed his lip nervously. "Yeah, about that. I was thinking of maybe staying at my place tonight. You know, do some laundry and get some things in order."

Stefan made an unhappy sound immediately and Damon flicked his eyes to him.

"I've slept at your place for two weeks now Stef. I just need a night at home." Damon consoled and Stefan slumped his shoulders.

"Can I stay with you?"

"You've got that Aston Martin to buff for tomorrow remember?"

Stefan sighed unhappily.

"You don't want me to stay."

"Hey, look at me." Damon nudged him and Stefan looked at him sadly. "I'm maddeningly in love with you, ok?"

Stefan beamed at him and Damon winked seductively before returning his eyes to the road.

"Besides, I have two beds to strip back there and god knows we left the place in a wreck." Damon chuckled and Stefan smiled.

"You'll come back tomorrow?"

"With bells on." Damon smiled and Stefan relaxed and looked out of the window as they journeyed on in comfortable silence.

The appointment was brief and full of happy results and they embraced and kissed until it would have been inappropriate to continue. Damon was free of the pathogen finally and they didn't have to worry anymore about blood sharing. They both felt so light and free that the mood got the better of their sense of decorum and they made out and made love behind one of the faculty sheds like a pair of teenagers, as they giggled, unable to wait until they got home.

Lunch with Elena was great and she could see how happy they were. She was looking forward to their weekend immensely. They drove back to Stefan's apartment and Damon packed his things up to take them home and wash them as Stefan sat on the couch and began to miss him already.

"It's healthy to spend some time apart Stef. I don't want you getting bored of me too quickly."

"That'll never happen. You're unpredictable as hell. You keep me interested." Stefan said and Damon laughed as he packed, kissing Stefan as he came and went from the room.

Stefan knew he was being silly but he felt his chest tighten at the thought of spending a night apart from him. It felt like Damon was leaving him. He knew he wasn't but even still. He couldn't tell him that though, Damon had made it clear he really just wanted to get some of his things sorted tonight. He wanted to be alone, so Stefan couldn't be selfish. He kissed him goodbye and watched depressed as Damon drove away in one of his other cars. He closed the door and leaned back against it, looking to the empty flat now devoid of his lover and he sighed.

He went into the bedroom and pulled at the bedclothes. They seriously needed to be washed. As he pulled them he spotted a small package, wrapped and placed at his side of the bed. He reached over and picked it up smiling. Damon had gotten him another present? He opened it and smiled, tears forming in his eyes as he opened the box. A tiny model plane to build. He knew Stefan loved to build models and they'd watched an old movie last week as they'd lazed around in bed called 'The First of the Few' that had the invention of the Spitfire plane in it. Stefan had marvelled at it and clearly Damon had taken note and gotten him a small model Spitfire to build. Stefan held it to his chest a chuckled to himself. Could he love him much more than he already did?

Damon had a bath, relaxed and happy as he thought on the past few weeks with Stefan. He felt so happy, so complete. Even being with Elena hadn't been free from issues or arguments or some other complication but being with Stefan was as easy as breathing. He hadn't been all that surprised when Stefan had mentioned selling the Boarding House earlier. He'd figured something of that nature would come up in conversation eventually. He felt bad about how much he'd hit back at the idea. It felt too soon. His brother had only been gone a little while and his presence still lingered here.

He couldn't let go of that yet. If he sold the place and got rid of his brother's things, there would be nothing left of him. It would be as if he never existed and Damon couldn't bear the thought of that. He ran his fingertips over the sides of the tub as he felt a burst of grief spoil his happy mood. He sighed and closed his eyes, shaking himself out of it. He'd grieved for people before, it would just take time. Why was it so hard now? It wasn't just because Stefan in reality wasn't dead and was actually now his lover. It was the sense of continuation. When he'd rescued Stefan he'd thought he had his brother back, but instead his brother had disappeared into the furthest recesses of his Stefan's brain. Gone forever. There had been no ending, no sense of closure. That's what this pain was. He opened his eyes and nodded to himself. He needed closure.

He got out of the bath, grabbing his customary bottle of champagne in hand as he left the bathroom, throwing a towel around his waist. He walked out of the room and along the hall to Stefan's bedroom and opened the door. The room still smelled of his Stefan – his deodorant and aftershave – all completely different from what his brother had worn. He felt a little sad at that. It would have been nice to have smelled the lingering scent of his brother for just a moment. His Stefan had taken a few things to the new apartment and threw out or burned other things here. He should have stopped him from doing that. They weren't really his things to burn or give away if he refused to accept Stefan Salvatore. Damon wandered around the room, looking for something that particularly reminded him of his brother. Tucked away at the end of a bookshelf was an old photograph album.

He pulled it from the shelf and flicked through it, smiling at the dust floating from the pages. He inhaled the smell of age. This was exactly what he'd been hoping for. Thank god his Stefan hadn't destroyed this. He wondered why. He flicked through, sitting down on the bed and stopped at the last page, his heart thudding loudly in his chest as he traced the image with his fingertips.

It was one of their earliest family photographs. Taken by their father at the beginning of the Civil War. One of the first to be printed on paper as opposed to copper sheets. Giuseppe had been a keen business man, always travelling and getting involved with new technologies. Their business was built on lumber and associated products, which had began to include more paper manufacture at that time. Giuseppe had come home one evening with a camera and explained the process excitedly to Stefan. Stefan had always been so full of desire to learn and he'd grabbed Damon excitedly and convinced him to try it out.

Damon bit back tears as he looked at the image of them both. So young and naïve. Innocent. Katherine hadn't come into their lives just yet, like a whirlwind and they had been simply men of the time. They looked so happy, their arms draped around each others' shoulders as they smiled at the camera. Even though their bodies had scarcely changed since then, they still looked so much younger here.

"Hello brother." Damon whispered as he traced around Stefan's face and sighed, letting tears slide down his cheeks now. "Where did you go?"

He shook his head and gave himself over to tears as he held the photograph and drank from the bottle of champagne. He sat there for a few hours, just thinking and remembering his baby brother. It helped actually. He cried then stopped, then cried again a few times until his champagne was empty by his feet. He stood up and held the photograph to his chest as he exhaled.

"Goodbye brother." He said to the air and placed the photo carefully back into the album, tucking it under his arm as he walked back to his own room and closed the door behind him.


	28. Chapter 28

Chapter 28 TNB

Damon slept well that night. He felt relieved, lighter. It was always going to be hard reconciling that his brother was gone but at least now he had said goodbye. At least he still had his Stefan, so he wouldn't be alone. Stefan had gave him space and left him undisturbed and Damon stretched in his bed happy to be there but strangely feeling a little disappointed that his bed was empty. He thought he'd feel relieved getting a night sans sex to sleep, but as he rolled onto his side he sighed and touched the pillow next to him. He had it bad.

He had never fallen so completely in love with someone so quickly. It was a little frightening and yet it felt so natural. He looked around his room thinking. If only Stefan would stay here with him, but then, this wasn't Stefan's place and he'd feel haunted by the ghost of his former life here. Stefan's apartment wasn't big enough for them though. He'd have to get on that because he didn't want to spend any more nights away from him if he could help it.

He reached down to his bedside cabinet and lifted his laptop, turning it on as he propped himself up. They needed a new place that was theirs, not one or the other. He began searching through the property adds in the village Stefan was currently living in. If they could stay in the town where people were happy meals, then they should. His stomach grumbled as he clicked through a few pages and he sat the laptop down on the bed as he climbed out from under the blankets and went to his mini fridge. He sucked on a blood bag as he texted a good morning text to Stefan, followed by kisses. God, he was getting sentimental!

Nothing seemed right in the ads. The buildings were too modern looking. He wanted something older, something more ornate. He huffed and closed the laptop down, moving to shower and dress. Stefan was working on an Aston Martin today, so he'd be busy and no doubt covered in wax and grease. Damon grinned to himself as he realized just how much he'd come to enjoy that smell. It was a Stefan smell now. He pulled on his clothes and looked around the room. He needed to do laundry and pack some new clothes. He'd meant to do it all last night but he'd spent half of the night weeping and drinking so he hadn't done a thing. He chewed his lip and looked around for anything he needed immediately, grabbing half of the clothes from his wardrobe and throwing them into an old suitcase he had at the back of his closet. They'd come back for other stuff later.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Stefan turned the music up on his iPod as he leaned into the engine and twisted his spanner. The music bounced loudly off of the wall in the garage and he grinned and tapped along to it as he worked away. It had been hard getting out of bed, he'd felt so empty at the lack of Damon's body heat beside him, so he'd decided music was the best cure for his lack of motivation.

His cell phone vibrated in his pocket and he smiled and wiped his hands on his jeans, before grabbing it.

_Good morning beautiful. xxx_

Stefan beamed and took in a deep breath. Damon was awake. God how could one night apart seem like so long? So torturous? He'd spent most of the evening building his spitfire - painting it with his delicate brushwork until it looked just like the package. He'd left it to dry proudly on the coffee table in the lounge so Damon would see it when he came back.

He wanted to reply without sounding too needy. What he wanted to do was to beg Damon to come back right now and make love to him on the hood of this car, like they'd done the other day. God he sounded like a horny school kid. He sent kisses back and then followed it with another text.

_Morning Angel._

Damon sent a wink back in response and Stefan laughed delighted.

"Call me. Please call me." Stefan spoke to the phone desperately, waiting.

He was beyond pathetic but he didn't care. He stared at the phone for a few minutes before he scolded himself and put it back in his pocket. Damon needed space and that was fine. It was fine. He returned to working on the car fastidiously and turned the music up again. Damon would be over later and he wanted to be finished everything. Tonight he might get to feed from Damon and watch him unravel. He was so excited about that idea. Damon had thought it was adorable how much Stefan wanted to blood share.

The afternoon wore on and Stefan felt tired and irritable. He was hungry. He washed his face with cold water and pulled his cell out to text Leyla. She was still his happy donor thankfully and it was just as well because they were out of blood bags. He fired off a quick text request to her and she called.

"Hey!" he answered.

"You ok?"

"Yeah I'm just grumpy and hungry, you know. I was wondering if I could feed?" He asked, feeling a little guilty at how little time he'd spent with her lately.

"Is Damon with you?"

"No, just me. He's in the land that self-preservation, forgot."

"Sorry Diane." Leyla evidently had one of the other donors with her. "Oh well, less competition for your affections then."

"Sorry, we've just been...kinda wrapped up in each other lately." He apologized.

"It's cool, I'm just glad that there's a bunch if you coming out tonight. Elena and Caroline coming too yeah?"

"Yeah, yeah, we will meet you in there."

"Cool. Ok well I can come over if you want?"

"Please. I gotta finish this car and I can't concentrate."

"Ok, be over in five." She hung up and he relaxed and rubbed his face.

She arrived a few minutes later and they went up to his apartment.

"You do look hungry." She commented frowning. "Are you ok?"

"Yeah, just ran out of blood bags last night and forgot."

"I thought you had loads." She urged him to sit on his couch.

"Damon and I have been sharing them."

"Why didn't you call me? It's better fresh."

"We were kinda occupied." He blushed and she gave a small smile.

"I love the honeymoon period." She sighed and swept her hair away from her neck as she straddled him.

He reached out to hold her automatically and looked up at her, licking his lips at the smell of her blood.

"Wait, what? Honeymoon?"

"You know..." She chuckled and he raised his eyebrows, "At the beginning of a relationship where it's all sex and passion and talking. Best part. Shame it can't stay that way forever."

He frowned.

"Why not?"

"Because it just doesn't dummy? Haven't you ever had...oh right." She corrected herself.

Stefan frowned.

"You don't remember any other partners."

"No." He said huffily and she leaned forward and pulled him into a hug.

"It's just a saying. I'm sure you two will be at it for the next few decades." She soothed. "Now shut up and drink, Mr. Grumpy face."

He still felt like saying something but his hunger won out and he bit into her shoulder and pulled some of her essence into his mouth. He moaned as he swallowed. Damn he had been hungrier than he thought. He suckled and she gyrated against him as she enjoyed herself.

"Oh Stefan..." She whispered, getting hot and bothered as he drank and held her at her hips on his knee.

Stefan sighed and buried his face into her skin, drinking and moaning until he heard a bang. He pulled his mouth away in surprise and she wilted against him panting as he looked to Damon standing in the doorway looking annoyed.

"Really? She has to sit in your lap like that?" Damon didn't look pleased.

"Huh?" Stefan said dazed, his head spinning slightly and Damon frowned and came forward, tilting his chin.

"Didn't you feed yesterday after I left you?"

"I forgot." Stefan admitted and carefully moved Leyla onto the couch beside him as she sighed and sat back relaxed and satiated.

"I leave you one night and you practically collapse." Damon shook his head, all his annoyance gone completely and Stefan smiled up at him goofily.

"The world collapses when you're in Mystic Falls."

"Just as well I'm back then." Damon looked pointedly at Leyla.

"Kiss me." Stefan said and Damon bent down and gave him a soft kiss on the lips.

Stefan hummed and pulled Damon to him and Damon chuckled and separated their mouths, standing up.

"Take me to bed." Stefan grinned and Damon huffed in amusement.

"Are you stoned?"

"No!" Stefan shook his head and Damon squinted and looked to Leyla.

"You're stoned and you're donating? What are you doing?" Damon accused and she gave a wicked smile.

"I wanted to see if it was true." She giggled and Stefan looked to her confused.

"Huh?" He said and she giggled again.

Damon signed and rubbed his eyes.

"Ok, up." Damon motioned for him to stand and Stefan grinned and grabbed him in a hug as he stood.

"Love you. I missed you last night."

"Clearly, you dumbass." Damon squeezed him and then swept his legs from under him and carried him to the bedroom as Leyla laughed.

He lay him in the bed and stood back to look at him.

"This is what happens when you feed from a stoner Stef. You'll have to sleep it off."

"Sleep _with_ me then."

"Your Aston Marten guy is due at 4. Did you finish?"

"Who cares, we can just eat him." Stefan chuckled and Damon smiled but folded his arms trying to be serious.

"Or...I will finish and you sleep."

"No." Stefan pouted. "I'll help you." He tried to get up and his head spun.

Damon pushed him back down and leaned over to kiss him. He stroked his hair and hummed, melting all of Stefan's bones in relaxation.

"Sleeping beauty is awoken by a kiss remember. Maybe I will wake you up with something a little more exciting."

"What?" Stefan chuckled confused and Damon clicked his tongue.

"It's a fairytale. Never mind. Move from this bed and I will cuff you to it."

Stefan bit his lip mischievously and Damon gave him a pointed stare of command.

"I'll be back soon." Damon covered him with a blanket and went through to see Leyla with her head in the fridge.

"Thanks a lot." He grumbled and she looked over at him. "Now he's going to be munchied and there are no blood bags left."

"He can feed from me more." She offered and Damon folded his arms.

"Ah. Now I get it."

"What?" She asked innocently.

"Don't act all innocent. His enjoyment isn't the same as yours when he feeds you know. I give him that."

She blushed embarrassed and he stared her out.

"What's going on with you?" He asked, trying not sound jealous and accusatory as she turned to him and looked down at her hands nervously.

"Am I attractive?" She asked meekly and he raised his eyebrows. "Do you find me attractive?"

"Listen, you're a nice girl but I'm not really interested." He said and she looked up mortified at his assumption she was asking him out.

"No, I know. I meant, am I sexy? If you weren't with…If you were straight…" She stumbled and he unfolded his arms.

"Spit it out." He said softly.

"It's just, Stefan wanted me. We were together sexually and there was nothing wrong. It was great."

"Yeah." Damon prompted trying not to picture his Stefan with anyone else.

"Why did he fall for you? Did I do something?" She asked, looking at him for answers and he frowned and ran his fingers through his hair. "I need to know."

Damon sighed into his hands and sat down as he tried to think about how to salvage this girl sanity and sexual identity.

"It's not about you alright? You're hot ok? Stefan's always felt something for me. For a long time I didn't understand it." He said and she sat down across from him.

"Did he like guys before the lake?" She asked and Damon started picking at the arm of the chair nervously.

"Not that I know of. It was always Elena or Katherine."

"Elena." She repeated, joining the dots together and Damon chewed his lip.

"Was Elena upset?"

"That's one word for it." He gave a weak smile.

He felt uncomfortable and exposed talking like this with a virtual stranger. He shuffled uncomfortably.

"Point is, you're gorgeous and you didn't do anything wrong. You just didn't stand a chance because of how our lives shaped. I rescued him, since then I've been on a pedestal."

"Is that really what you think? That he idolizes you and that's why he feels like he does?" She leaned forward and he sat back in his chair, wary of her proximity.

"Some of it." He answered and she shook her head.

"So why are you with him if you think that? Why do you want to be with him?"

"I love him." He shrugged.

"It must be nice to feel revered." She commented dryly and stood up and he squinted at her.

"What?"

"Must be nice to have someone think you can do no wrong and be hopeless devoted to you." She sounded a little bitter.

"What the hell are you saying?" He stood up abruptly as she pulled her car keys out of her pocket and staggered, holding onto the wall for support.

"I care about him a lot ok? I'd take him back in a heartbeat. Remember that." She advised and he chuckled incredulously and grabbed her as she moved to leave.

"Is that a threat princess? Really?" He smirked sarcastically. "I will eat you."

"Love him for the right reasons. That's all I'm saying, because there are others who would Damon. Be one of them."

"Why don't you go home and eat a huge cream pie princess." He widened his pupils, catching her eyes. "While you're at it, you might wanna wash your hair and the other shit women do to avoid social events. The gig is boring tonight anyway, you'd rather stay at home."

She looked at him dazed and he put his hand over her mouth so she could repeat back to him.

"Off you go little girl." He gave her a slap on the behind and she blinked and walked down the stairs, rubbing her eyes dazed.

He slammed the door and exhaled a deep breath of anger. Who did she think she was? She knew Stefan for five minutes and suddenly she was the expert? He rolled his shirt cuffs up and headed down to the garage to finish work on the car Stefan had abandoned.

He vamp sped around and finished the coating on the car, before driving it onto the street and waiting for the client. To his disbelief it was the same asshole as the last time and he folded his arms and huffed. The jerk wad approached him and asked where Stefan was.

"Busy." Damon replied, unable to hide the fact that he didn't like this guy.

"Well, can you get him down here please, if he's not too pre-occupied?" The guy stood his ground defiantly.

"Problem?" Damon gave a fake smile that riled the guy further.

"I paid him for a double coating on my other car and he only did one. I want a refund." The guy held his chin back.

"He did double coat it."

"I've been reliably informed that he didn't."

"What's your problem? Huh? Any idiot who knows anything about cars – which clearly you know jack shit, could see that car was double coated. So what's _really_ itching you?" Damon held his temper at bay.

"Who are you to speak to me like that? You think because you two are…are…" The guy waved his hand towards him and Damon saw red.

He grabbed the man's throat and squeezed.

"What, because we are lovers? Does that bother you? A little guy on guy action huh?" Damon gave a dangerous smile and the man grabbed at his hand in fear of his strength.

"Let me tell you something about people like you. You don't deserve to lick the boots of people like Stefan. People who work for every penny, servicing assholes who wouldn't know their right foot from their left without a helper."

"Please!" The man choked and Damon felt his teeth fill his mouth as the urge to bite the guys' head off seemed more and more appealing.

"If I ever see your face around here again, I will bleed you dry." Damon flashed his teeth and the man's eyes widened in horror. "Forget everything about this garage and this encounter. When you get home you're going to give all of your cars away to charities. In fact, you're going to give everything away and hope to god that I don't see you ever again."

The man stared into his eyes mechanically.

"And those latent homosexual tendencies that you're fighting, it's time to let go." Damon chuckled to himself as the man sagged and he let him drop to the ground.

The man rubbed his throat confused and climbed into his car, driving away as though the devil was on his tail. Damon laughed to himself and brushed his hands down before sauntering back into the garage.

Leyla sat in her car and watched him. Damon had compelled that man. He'd done it without permission. It had to be reported. Those were the rules.


End file.
